Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Ive been seeing a girl for 2.5 years. Living with her for 1.5. I have an 8 year old son from ex wife, she has 3 year old daughter from previous relationship.
The relationship started rocky and has been so for pretty much the entire time. I have wanted to get out for a long time now. The first time i tried, there was a combination of suicide threats and promises to bring a man home that night and have sex with him in the living room after her kid went to bed. I got cold feet and went back on it. I tried one more time but this time i went back on my own after a day. Stupid, because i found out months later that during that day, she went across the street and had sex with my neighbor.
Since then, attempts to pull back or breakup have been met with worse, including threats to ruin my life. That bears further explanation...
About a year ago, i did some things that were illegal. Nothing violent or drug related. Nobody hurt. A multibillion dollar corporation is out a few hundred dollars, thats it. I know it was wrong and to this day i dont know what came over me. It was stupid! I have no criminal record, nothing beyond a speeding ticket. I have not done it since then and will never do it again, but i cannot change the past.
The last few times i have tried to end it, or more recently when she thought i wasnt trying hard enough after i said i would, she threatened to contact this company and notify them of what i had done. She also threatened to call my job and my ex wife so i would lose my son and job.
Thing is, the times she said i wasnt trying were actually just misunderstandings on her part. If i was in a bad mood and was quiet or didnt show her enough affection, or if i wanted to hang out with some friends and she felt i wasnt spending enough time with her, she would tell me i wasnt trying like i said i would. She says that if i made her look like a fool by saying i wanted her when i didnt, she would follow through on these threats. But she sees these things all the time!
Apparently she has recordings of us discussing these acts. Idk if that's true or not.
Anyway, i know i did somethjng wrong but im miserable. Shes controlling, paranoid, possessive in the extreme, and has a truly explosive temper. Shes nasty to my son, hates my family, never goes a single day without complaining and is never happy.. I cannot talk to anyone else about our problems without repercussions, and i have almost no social life. My fb page is constantly monitored and any interactions with anyone if the opposite sex, even liking some pictures, are questioned and ive cone to expect almost daily interrogations. She has bipolar disorder and/or borderline personality disorder, or so she claims her therapist said.
How do i get out of this? If i fess up, i will certainly lose my certification for work which would mean no job and no more career i have put 16 years into. I also dont want to have to endure her bringing various men over for sex where i can see or hear it. But if i stay with this woman, i will certainly lose my mind and my son will become more and more miserable.
I know im an idiot to have stayed in this and let it go so far. I would appreciate any advice, but please know I am beating myself up over this more than anyone else could, and my own choices contributed as much ti my situation as anything. I just want to get out. I cry almost daily now, but nobody knows.
The relationship is toxic and she sounds unstable and abusive. You need to get out ASAP. As JerZ suggested, you should get legal advise regarding the "illegal things" you did.
She is blackmailing you and you have 2 choices: Option 1 - you stand up to her, leave her and possibly face the consequences of whatever illegal thing you did OR Option 2 - you stay with her. I hope you make the choice that is right for you.
Do you love your son? Then put on your grown-up pants and deal with the consequences of your actions. You are failing him as a parent if you continue to allow this woman to be in his life.
The one thing that strikes out to me is you said she is awful to your son. NOTHING else matters but this. Your son comes first. You know what you need to do.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
