How should I tell my parents that my boyfriend has a bad past (guys, college)
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Yes I did. My first thought was has he changed or will he do something that would put me in harms way. So far he has been attending church with me and working. I hope this remains
Stop hoping, and go with hard core facts. Going into a church and going through the motions is proving nothing. Going to a construction job stoned will get him fired. Keep going with this plan for as long as you want. Post us back in a year, and let us know how long he lasted.
Whether or not he wants to truly change and not go back to his old ways is up to him.
He has to do this for himself.
I have been telling him that. He has to do it for himself. Its only a matter of time before the police catches him and then that's the end of our relationship
If I were you, I would run a deep background check on him. It's nice that he told you these things, but he could be shading the truth as well. If you are planning on spending the rest of your life with him, you should get the full truth right now.
Imagine finding out after investing years with him that his felonies were much more serious than what he told you.
It is never to late to break off a relationship that isn't good for you. He must be ecstatic that he was able to find a decent girl to date him. You need to talk to your parents and he needs at least as long as he was in prison to prove himself. Tell him to call you in a year.
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Originally Posted by CollegeCurious
Yes I did. My first thought was has he changed or will he do something that would put me in harms way. So far he has been attending church with me and working. I hope this remains
oh sweetie, you're so naive...... I was once involved with a "bad boy" When they're caught up in their criminal ways or violating their probation/parole, they don't care about anyone but themselves.
There was an incident while I was with this "bad boy" that could of easily got me arrested also as well just because I was with him.
We are no longer together. My life is better that way
He got locked up in jail for 3 times over petty crimes like theft and marijuana. He is currently on probation for a theft he did back when he was 20( He is 23 now). The theft violation he did when he was 20 was breaking into his high school and drinking milk . To make matters worse, he went on the run for like a week from the police until they caught him. He served a year in jail for that violation. Shortly after, he broke into a person car and stole money and pistol. He got caught and did 3 months in jail for that violation. A year later he got caught with marijuana and only got probation. He also had a short period with doing hard drugs, but now he smokes weed and that's it.
If I was your parent, I wouldn't let you bring him in the house again. The guy is a loser, still breaking the law, and he'll go back to jail AGAIN when his PO drug tests him and finds out he's smoking pot on probation.
If I was your parent, I wouldn't let you bring him in the house again. The guy is a loser, still breaking the law, and he'll go back to jail AGAIN when his PO drug tests him and finds out he's smoking pot on probation.
Me and my boyfriend has been together for 4 months now and we recently made things official last month. He fell in love with me first and I have been on cloud nine ever since then lol! We met online on a popular dating app called POF and didn't meet until a month after talking over the phone and skyping. He's now becoming very important in my life. However, he has a past. He got locked up in jail for 3 times over petty crimes like theft and marijuana. He is currently on probation for a theft he did back when he was 20( He is 23 now). The theft violation he did when he was 20 was breaking into his high school and drinking milk . To make matters worse, he went on the run for like a week from the police until they caught him. He served a year in jail for that violation. Shortly after, he broke into a person car and stole money and pistol. He got caught and did 3 months in jail for that violation. A year later he got caught with marijuana and only got probation. He also had a short period with doing hard drugs, but now he smokes weed and that's it.
Now he is 23, and work as a construction worker and going back to school to become a mechanic. He seem to now have a promising future despite his horrible past. He met my parents yesterday and he likes them. He feels that he should discuss his past with them so that he can get it off his chest. My parents are Christian and lovable. However, they are sort of judgmental and I am afraid they might not accept him.
I also haven't told them how we met because I am scared that they may try to talk me out of being with him
What should I do?
I really love him.
Well OP, sounds like he's lucky he didn't go up on the 3 strike bit. And no, 3 years ain't much to call a "past". I do t get how he only got 90 days for stealing a firearm with a year on as prior for stealing milk with a BE. Had an easy judge and a lax DA. Anyway, he's vat a ways to go before its truly a "past". Stealing a gun is seriojs . I truly don't get the light time for that. Yes, he has some atonement to do, before I'd have a lot of trust into him, and with drugs in the mix, that's an unstable explosive.
OK, so, he has a job now, and a plan ,you should relax , a d see where that goes. Make sure he's truly committed to straightening out. You're both young. You have time. I'm not judging. I have a past too. From my earlier 20s. Never did any time, spent mean I could t have. But I'm 51 now. It truly is the past. I pulled my head out well before I hit the end of my 20s. My ojglaw e deavors never knv end theft or BE, but they were bad enough. As k said, you need to see a true committment to a straight path before making any leaps. Sometimes, love isn't enough. But, if he TRULY loves you, he'll prove it. I wouldn't tell your folks yet. Things are still pretty fresh. Give this some time. You have it to spare. Use it.
Hey you all. I am surprised by the amount of comments this thread has gotten. We decided both last night that we are going to wait for awhile before letting my family know of his past. Yes I am aware of how limited he is being that he is a felon. I am very precautious in this situation and I am hoping he has changed for the better. We have discussed moving in but I want to wait a year or two before we make that step or maybe when he is done paying off his probation, which will be in the next 3 years.
I told him if he ever go back in jail I would quit the relationship. I can not support that type of behavior and I made that clear to him when he first told me about his past. Also weed isn't a big deal, however he is on probation and that will give him 30 days in jail.
He told me he did those criminal things because of the wrong influence in his life and also he was on hard times at home. At the time, he was and still is coping with his mom and dads divorce. Although he will not tell me, I feel that is the reason for most of his criminal past.
Now he's doing well for himself with building homes and going to mechanical school. However I told him that I would like to see this positivity throughout our relationship
I already told my parents how we met and surprisingly they took well to it. His parents met the same way we did and now married for 8 years
P.S. we never had sex just foreplay. No intercourse until he is tested
It's not your parents' business. You are an adult and can choose your own romantic partners.
That being said: You seeing him even though he is violating the terms of his probation. This is not a healthy sign. You are already enabling him to step over boundaries that you should have set from the beginning.
This will not end well.
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. To make matters worse, he went on the run for like a week from the police until they caught him. He served a year in jail for that violation. Shortly after, he broke into a person car and stole money and pistol. He got caught and did 3 months in jail for that violation. A year later he got caught with marijuana and only got probation. He also had a short period with doing hard drugs, but now he smokes weed and that's it. 
Had an easy judge and a lax DA. Anyway, he's vat a ways to go before its truly a "past". Stealing a gun is seriojs . I truly don't get the light time for that. Yes, he has some atonement to do, before I'd have a lot of trust into him, and with drugs in the mix, that's an unstable explosive. 
