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Status:
"Just livin' day by day"
(set 24 days ago)
Location: USA
3,166 posts, read 3,359,241 times
Reputation: 5382
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Quote:
Originally Posted by augiedogie
No matter what the past, friends of the opposite sex are always a potential problem and threat to the marriage. Frankly, I don't understand guys who want to hang out and be friends with women. Men are usually into cars, guns, hunting, type stuff, which most women have very little interest in. IMHO, a guy who wants to keep up a "friendship" with a woman may very well be looking to score.
Exactly how I feel too. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned or whatever.... I don't seek close friendships with men that I know who are in a relationship or married. To me, it's not appropriate and eventually can lead to trouble.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by augiedogie
No matter what the past, friends of the opposite sex are always a potential problem and threat to the marriage. Frankly, I don't understand guys who want to hang out and be friends with women. Men are usually into cars, guns, hunting, type stuff, which most women have very little interest in. IMHO, a guy who wants to keep up a "friendship" with a woman may very well be looking to score.
You watch too many sitcoms, or live in the South/Midwest.
Men and women tend to be into the same things. It's what we do together, as friends or as dates.
Exactly how I feel too. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned or whatever.... I don't seek close friendships with men that I know who are in a relationship or married. To me, it's not appropriate and eventually can lead to trouble.
I agree. I think, any smart person with relationship experience would avoid potential problems; like allowing a former lover/crush orbiting around their relationship.
I don't believe that friendships between opposite sexes are possible past the age of sexual maturity. I believe that in such case at least one side has alternate plans for this relationship, even if they are conditional and far off in the future. "Friendzoned" guys may seem like an exception, but they are not: The guy is hoping for something he will never get and the woman is just using him as an emotional tampon or a shopping buddy - this setup is far from anything that could fit a definition of friendship.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by va_bank
I don't believe that friendships between opposite sexes are possible past the age of sexual maturity. I believe that in such case at least one side has alternate plans for this relationship, even if they are conditional and far off in the future. "Friendzoned" guys may seem like an exception, but they are not: The guy is hoping for something he will never get and the woman is just using him as an emotional tampon or a shopping buddy - this setup is far from anything that could fit a definition of friendship.
So my friendships with women where I don't want anything more and they've don't want anything more aren't real? OK. I've had some real good 25+ year non real friendships.
No matter what the past, friends of the opposite sex are always a potential problem and threat to the marriage. Frankly, I don't understand guys who want to hang out and be friends with women. Men are usually into cars, guns, hunting, type stuff, which most women have very little interest in. IMHO, a guy who wants to keep up a "friendship" with a woman may very well be looking to score.
How many tired stereotypes can one fit into a short paragraph?
*shrug* Guess I've been doing it wrong all these years by not considering someone's genitalia when making friends.
I think men and women can be friends. I also think men who are friends with women make better partners. The whole thing that something " could " happen doesn't wash with me, because anything could happen in life regardless. Like when my husband travels on his own or goes out on a guys night, I suppose he " could" meet a woman at a restaurant or bar, but that doesn't mean he never should go. I think friendships are an important part of life, whether it be with a man or women, friends can get you through hard times and be there for you. Yes, your partner is there too, but I also don't think it's healthy to rely only on one person for your entire support system. I would never tell my husband who he can be friends with. One of my dad's best friends is a woman, it hasn't affected his marriage. We all know her and love her like family. And yes, they do hang out alone sometimes as they are both into photography and like to go to art galleries and things like that, or go on picture taking outings. Sometimes they will even stop and have drinks at a pub afterwards. Not a big deal.
But in this case, I don't think this relationship is healthy and should probably end. If the friendship is hidden or there are manipulations etc, that is a totally different story.
Last edited by canadiangirl_2015; 04-12-2016 at 09:18 AM..
Frankly, I think your emphasis on "energy" is distracting you from the extent of the problem.
It "angered" him when you tried to leave before?? LOL Look, don't let his dysfunction manipulate you into overlooking the fact that he is basically a liar and a hypocrite who wants to have his cake and eat it too.
Listen to the healthy part of you that is telling you to get out.
thank you so much, wmsn4life.
i have used many distractions and excuses, basically because he was much more open before he changed and we used to have a beautiful relationship.
the lack of openness bothers me the most, I think.
I mean, we are quite evolved, .
Lack of openness is not evolved. It is the opposite of evolved.
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