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Very good point. I think despite of all the feminist talk of equality, most women still expect a man to be a provider of some sort and thus make more money or at least roughly the same amount. I believe that is what is subconsciously bothering the OP. I don't think I would've ever married a woman who makes more than 10-15% more than I do for the same reason.
I guess as women start making more money and take further advantage of affirmative action programs this situation will become more common.
What do you mean start? Women making more than men is like normal in America right now especially with the younger generation millennials and the younger Gen X'ers. Now women just need to deal with it or stay single or not even date if it's that big of an issue for them.
I guess as women start making more money and take further advantage of affirmative action programs this situation will become more common.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanderlust76
What do you mean start? Women making more than men is like normal in America right now especially with the younger generation millennials and the younger Gen X'ers. Now women just need to deal with it or stay single or not even date if it's that big of an issue for them.
Exactly. And affirmative action has nothing to do with it. Women are getting good jobs because they have the right skills, they chose the right major in college, and they're cashing in on the tech jobs, engineering, business management jobs, law, etc.
How does he manage the money he does make? I have seen high earners have nothing at the end of the day. And low income earners, like myself, that do well with a little.
Isn't this a somewhat unfair question in the context of substantially unequal incomes? If I were in a relationship, managing my money well would require being constantly cheap, while managing my relationship well would demand NOT being so damned cheap all the time. How do you resolve that?
I knew his salary and hear bare bone life when I married him. I knew what I signed up for. My thought process then & even now is, as long as I have my income it doesn't matter what he makes. Thru the last 2 years we kept our finance separate. We both pitch in on house hold expense without an issue. Typically I don't think about his income or even know about it.
But then tax season comes and we file jointly & I can't help but look at his income and ever year its the same reaction
Question to the ladies who make significantly more than your husband: How do you manage your emotion regarding the difference? As I said, we don't have any financial issue so far but time to time emotional complication shows up that I push back. but it creeps out.
Like tax season when I see our income side by side & I feel uneasy. I am sure he does too
Like when we disagree on big purchase (car or house), he wants something expensive nothing but the best vs. I think we should get something average or slightly below average. Then in back of my mind I am thinking "dude your broke, you can't even afford average, forget cream of the crop. If I want expensive things it makes sense." Then I realize how wrong this thought is and push it back. I never voiced it. This is the first place I am acknowledging it
Why would you have 'emotion' regarding what he makes or doesn't make? Isn't it all about love? haha
What a lot of men, including myself, have been saying for years. It's NOT about love. First off he needs to dump any female that blogged about his income like this and second, YOU'RE illiterate, so no loss on his part.
I'm already hung over, and now I have to do a shot.
I think couples have to feel that there is teamwork in the relationship. That's a combination of financial, chores, sex, affection, etc.
We can't bring everything, all the time, so we do other things to contribute.
If you don't feel like teamwork is present then people tend to get bitter about their contributions.
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Ok I am over that feeling I had yesterday. Thanks everyone for your comments. Some of you gave me something to think about & others reconfirmed why I choose this path. Just to clarify few things:
No I don't wish nor do I ever question if 'i can do better'. I am happy with him but like all couple we have several differences, one of the major difference is our spending ideology. I am naturally frugal and never felt the need to "show off" to world. While he is a dreamer and a classic "show off" in my opinion. But he doesn't act on his crazy dream unless I support it.
To some the separate finance might sound crazy but it works. We have "dont ask, dont tell' attitude. So he is just as free to do what he wants with his income as I am with mine. It works both way, not just to my advantage.
No I don't wish nor do I ever question if 'i can do better'. I am happy with him but like all couple we have several differences, one of the major difference is our spending ideology. I am naturally frugal and never felt the need to "show off" to world. While he is a dreamer and a classic "show off" in my opinion. But he doesn't act on his crazy dream unless I support it.
To some the separate finance might sound crazy but it works. We have "dont ask, dont tell' attitude. So he is just as free to do what he wants with his income as I am with mine. It works both way, not just to my advantage.
Too bad he likes to 'show off' when he doesn't make the income to support his flashiness.
Either way your income is his since you probably have to cover up his retirement plan, vacations, social events, etc etc etc.
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