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Let's say you have a choice between two girls, both the same age (let's say 24), and both the same size (both are a size 2).
One is significantly more beautiful in the face, and absolutely no one would call her ugly; her personality isn't terrible either, it's very down to earth, and she's sweet to you.
The other has a significant amount in common with you (such as you share a common hobby or two) and is well-traveled, well-read, etc. for her age. Her face isn't horrid, but definitely not beautiful. She's rather calm and kind also.
If these two girls were competing for the same guy (you), what would the "less attractive" one have to do to win you over? (For long-term love).
I find myself in this position a lot...as the unattractive one.
I'm not asking about a specific guy or whining, but rather, asking for tips and ideas that might help me "compete" with prettier women my same age.
I know that the usual advice is "work out, makeup, hair, dress nice", however, those things can only do so much when your unattractiveness lies in genetic factors, like having a huge nose.
Thanks in advance for your advice. I appreciate honesty above all; that's always more useful.
I was thinking nose job before I even read you had a huge nose. But for real, nose job, since you are asking. It's not even that big of a surgery if they're just shaving bone (I'm assuming). If you have what they call a Roman of Jewish nose. It is remarkable how much one's nose frames the face. One can literally go from a 4 to a 10.
Dear Lord, there are a lot of people with a very carnal take on relationships in this thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Artful Architect
If these two girls were competing for the same guy (you), what would the "less attractive" one have to do to win you over? (For long-term love).
This may sound trite, but try to look at the way you have framed the "competition" in your OP - you have essentially decided in your mind that you're in a game where you start at a disadvantage. You need to ditch that way of thinking. Healthy relationships do not tend to spring from a mindset where you manage to nudge someone from the lead position. If a man is waffling between two women to that extent, ditch him and move on.
Anyway, both genders run into this challenge (you should hear short men lament), and the same advice applies to both:
Do a little bit of work on figuring out who you are and what you want. (The answer is not "I am the second-prettiest girl in the race and I want a guy". Higher goals, please.)
Do some work on figuring out what you have to offer. Admittedly, it's mostly young men who need a kick in the rear on that one. ("I'm a nice guy, isn't that enough?" No, it bloody well isn't.) If you're pursuing some goal of your own, you're in a good way here.
Do your best to find a way to do things you enjoy doing around members of the preferred gender. Time well spent no matter what.
And help nature. Haircuts and clothes and whatnot, no reason not to.
I hope this doesn't seem like a non-answer, and I'm sorry if it does and if it therefore doesn't help you, but it's how I feel about the situation. If I were a "runner up" for a guy's attention I'd make the decision for him by bowing out to go find a guy who wanted JUST me.
None of these "pick me, pick me!" games.
Someone who gets it. It may not answer the OP's question, but it's the right solution to the OP's dilemma.
A "good relationship" can include lots of good sex, you know that, right? That's all I'm saying... let the guy know in various ways that a "good relationship" with you will mean good sex and he will likely choose that over a relationship with a hottie where the sex is not so good.
Quote:
Originally Posted by oceangaia
P.S. Just because a guy thinks that good sex is a mandatory element of a relationship does not mean he is "using" you for sex. It's just a critical element that he is not willing to forgo.
Well, there are lots of average and below average looking women out there in relationships and I'm sure all of them aren't great in bed either.
If they treat their men well, have learned what their men like in bed, and have a healthy attitude toward sex, then their men are perfectly happy with the fact that they aren't 10s.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
Seriously??? You "wasted money" because she wasn't inventive enough in bed for your taste????
So if she's double-jointed and swinging from the chandiers she was worth the cost of endless breadsticks? If not do you ask her to reimburse you or what?
When we (men) pursue a woman, we are hoping for good, fulfilling sex. When the sex isn't good (or doesn't happen), we're left feeling like we could've gotten better results if we'd have spent our time and money on a different woman.
It's really simple: a man wants a woman who enjoys sex, and who makes it enjoyable for him. If she is willing to learn how to please him, that's great. If she already has skills, that's icing on the cake. OTOH, if she treats sex like a chore, has a long list of hangups and things she won't do (or even try), or attempts to misuse sex to manipulate her man, he will be incredibly unhappy or he will just get rid of her and find a better woman.
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......... Time will tell LOL
heck ya to a repressed gag reflex 
Lol
