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We met each other in a jiu jitsu class and things went a lil far (sexually) after telling how we felt for each other so I asked not tell anyone about us to avoid any trouble in his job.
I started to have feelings for him and asked him "what are we". He never gave me a straight answer. I was confused so I told two friends we have in common and who knew what was going between us for advice: His boss, who's a close friend of mine and she's the one who hooked us up and a guy from our class who's a mutual friend. He learned that i told others about us and he called and told me he couldn't trust me anymore, that he was hurt, disappointed and could not believe what i did ....and that it was over. One month later, I went to apologize and he agreed on giving me one chance to regain his trust and try to be friends. He also told me to change some aspects of my behavior and be carefull of whom i trust. Like being more humble, less bitchy, keeping things to myself, not trust anyone.
After that, he started acting completely awkward, sometimes he was nice with me and sometimes he's rough and cold.
So i decided to pull back and change the aspects he told me to and got way better at jiu jitsu.
After that he started treating me very respectful and kind. He didn't mind at all spending time explaining any technique I had problem with. He talked to me more often, etc.
Honestly i started focussing more on myself and in my classes. I finally was leaving everything behind but again, the situation emerged again when the owner of all the jiu jitsu academies in our area found out that one of his employees and I where hooking up... So i went directly to talk to the guy and we cleared everything. After that he started treating with respect and kindness and now his treating me bad again.
True is, I don't know what to do with all this. I've though of changing of academy but honestly i think Is so unfair that I have to spend way more money driving outside of town to other academies because all of this ....
We met each other in a jiu jitsu class and things went a lil far (sexually) after telling how we felt for each other so I asked not tell anyone about us to avoid any trouble in his job.
I started to have feelings for him and asked him "what are we". He never gave me a straight answer. I was confused so I told two friends we have in common and who knew what was going between us for advice: His boss, who's a close friend of mine and she's the one who hooked us up and a guy from our class who's a mutual friend. He learned that i told others about us and he called and told me he couldn't trust me anymore, that he was hurt, disappointed and could not believe what i did ....and that it was over. One month later, I went to apologize and he agreed on giving me one chance to regain his trust and try to be friends. He also told me to change some aspects of my behavior and be carefull of whom i trust. Like being more humble, less bitchy, keeping things to myself, not trust anyone.
After that, he started acting completely awkward, sometimes he was nice with me and sometimes he's rough and cold.
So i decided to pull back and change the aspects he told me to and got way better at jiu jitsu.
After that he started treating me very respectful and kind. He didn't mind at all spending time explaining any technique I had problem with. He talked to me more often, etc.
Honestly i started focussing more on myself and in my classes. I finally was leaving everything behind but again, the situation emerged again when the owner of all the jiu jitsu academies in our area found out that one of his employees and I where hooking up... So i went directly to talk to the guy and we cleared everything. After that he started treating with respect and kindness and now his treating me bad again.
True is, I don't know what to do with all this. I've though of changing of academy but honestly i think Is so unfair that I have to spend way more money driving outside of town to other academies because all of this ....
A BJJ school that doesn't allow stuff to happen between students and instructors? Must be one of those new-fangled American run schools. Sure can't be Brazilian!
Well, there isn't much you can do about it now. The cat is out of the bag.
I'm wondering why on earth you told your mutual friend...his boss. What were you up to, doing that? I just wonder about this situation in general.
No, you don't have to leave the school. You may have harmed his job, yes. I'm personally not cool with that but then again I'm not part of this situation...you and he are. All you can do now really is to act impeccably and LEAVE...THIS...SITUATION...ALONE and just try, by backing off, not to make it worse.
And then it should eventually die a quiet death and hopefully this man will keep his position at the school, etc.
Well, there isn't much you can do about it now. The cat is out of the bag.
I'm wondering why on earth you told your mutual friend...his boss. What were you up to, doing that? I just wonder about this situation in general.
No, you don't have to leave the school. You may have harmed his job, yes. I'm personally not cool with that but then again I'm not part of this situation...you and he are. All you can do now really is to act impeccably and LEAVE...THIS...SITUATION...ALONE and just try, by backing off, not to make it worse.
And then it should eventually die a quiet death and hopefully this man will keep his position at the school, etc.
Indeed. Could this situation have possibly been handled worse by the OP? I mean, who didn't she tell?
Indeed. Could this situation have possibly been handled worse by the OP? I mean, who didn't she tell?
LOL seriously. Didn't I read about this affair on huffpost? Or maybe that was The Onion.
The cat is out of the bag, the most she can do now is lie low...very low and just not speak to this guy again unless absolutely necessary...i.e. specifically something about the class.
Let time go by so his reputation can build back up again.
I hate hearing about stuff like this...stuff that could potentially cause a person his job. That's his livelihood. Just REALLY rubs me the wrong way. Now if it were misconduct or something, say, if a boss were trying to molest his young employees then the gloves are off, let 'im have it. But in a case like this? So unfair, IMO. BAD call on his part, yes...but ultimately...just kind of unfair. OP really hit him where it hurts telling the boss. I almost wonder if it wasn't semi-retaliation for the fact that he didn't follow up by buying her flowers and initiating this big relationship or something.
It was HIS boss the one who hooked us up. Trust me when I say he was not going to loose his job. Where in my post says that? . Me and the guy are both friends of the owner (his boss) and since all this happen outside his workplsce why would he loose his job?? Theres no reason to fire him.
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