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I've been in a couple of relationships with women that worked long hours. One was a physician's assistant and she was always complaining about how I 'get to do whatever you want' and on some mornings if I was still sleeping when she got up she would wake me up and ask 'Are you going to work today?' and if I said no, she wouldn't talk/call or text all day and would ignore me when she came home.
The worst days were when she knew I was jumping out of planes. She would text random things like 'This isn't working out.' 'You need to grow up.' 'I can't do this anymore.' and constantly harass the hell out of me.
One night she said 'You are going to have to man up if I ever get pregnant.' Which was laughable because I had not told her yet I had a vasectomy.
Point is: When two people coexist in a relationship and live together - both parties have preconceived ideas and expectations of the other person and resentments can develop over certain things. It leads to one or both partners beginning to look for something else and drifting apart.
Here is the truth (in bold)....living together reveals whether or not you two are compatible.
Ive never thought that if 2 people rent an apartment together, that the person making more money should pay more. If you are living in 50% off the apartment and using 50% of the utilities, thats what you pay for. Nothing to do with your income.
It sounds like she feels entitled to your money, since you are in a relationship. Not a good attitude for her to have. She isnt entitled to anything, at this point. She's not interested in bettering herself, because she feels she has you to fall back on.
"Well lately she has been saying that I get paid "just to sit around playing video games" and being at home. And says she works harder than me and says she should get some shopping money or money from me."
I'd tell her to take a hike, you can do much better. It's not your fault that you are doing something that you like doing and apparently making decent money too. She clearly does not have much motivation to improve herself and rather than do that she minimizes what you do.
The OP is ignoring your posts. I think they're exactly right. It's pretty clear that the OP has evolved and his live-in girlfriend is now fundamentally incompatible. Maybe she'll evolve. Maybe not. Since the OP is still insisting on splitting living costs 50/50 despite a substantial income spread, I think the OP has some growing to do on the relationship side of things. 50/50 is what you do on your first date, not what you do with someone you've been living with for two years. You split living costs according to income. That probably includes things like health insurance in addition to rent and utilities.
There isn't one clear cut answer but I am a bit miffed by the person who makes more/enjoys financial success, viewing it as their success alone, and only they reap the benefits of it, not the relationship. What is the point of a relationship then, if you're not united as a couple?
I've inherited my parents Estate, which I'm saving for retirement, however hubby and I are taking a trip later this year and the majority of the money is coming from the Estate. I'm not leaving him behind because it's not his inheritance.
tell her arse to go back to school so she can get a better job
personally I would view this as a little glimpse of what marriage to her will be like, and move on
you possibly dodged a bullet
women basically are control freaks, and god and heaven help you if SHE is busy while YOU are relaxing...she will move mountains to assign you a task so that you are not relaxing without her...
Ive never thought that if 2 people rent an apartment together, that the person making more money should pay more. If you are living in 50% off the apartment and using 50% of the utilities, thats what you pay for. Nothing to do with your income.
It sounds like she feels entitled to your money, since you are in a relationship. Not a good attitude for her to have. She isnt entitled to anything, at this point. She's not interested in bettering herself, because she feels she has you to fall back on.
Dont get married.
The OP's work is a home business, while his girlfriend works outside the home. How is that a 50/50 split? He's asking her to subsidize his home business on top of pay for her share of the apartment. If she is contributing to the OP's success in that way, then yes, she is entitled to more than what she is getting.
The OP's work is a home business, while his girlfriend works outside the home. How is that a 50/50 split? He's asking her to subsidize his home business on top of pay for her share of the apartment. If she is contributing to the OP's success in that way, then yes, she is entitled to more than what she is getting.
Good catch on the 2nd BR being an office... he needs to pay more, as he is probably writing it off on taxes anyway.
Anyway, if they are looking at a long term relationship they need to come together on finances.
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It sounds like she feels entitled to your money, since you are in a relationship. Not a good attitude for her to have. She isnt entitled to anything, at this point. She's not interested in bettering herself, because she feels she has you to fall back on.
This. The OP could try to resolve the situation, though, by giving her the benefit of the doubt, and talking to her about what type of work she might be interested in, and brainstorming with her about how/where to go about getting training that would improve her earning capacity. If she rejects that conversation, then he can make decisions based on insight about her gained from that conversation.
So my gf and I have been together 3 years, I am 28 she is 27. When we met she and I both were working not great jobs but I was in school and she wasn't. It didn't bother me and we would split things for the most part.
We moved into an apartment together a little over a year later. Well since then I have graduated college and managed to start a home business and also have a gaming youtube channel I make some money off of. My girlfriend however my girlfriend bis still at the same job and makes significantly less than I do. She does mostly physical work stocking and such. Well lately she has been saying that I get paid "just to sit around playing video games" and being at home. And says she works harder than me and says she should get some shopping money or money from me. Should I really be obligated to give her money? We split all the bills and the chores but outside a gift for her now and then should I really feel bad that after all bills are paid I have more money to spend on fun thing/entertainment etc.? I have suggested she go to college and get something and have said that is something I would help her with but she just says she hates school and doesn't want to be in lots of debt.
What do you all think?
Time to bail dude. Toss her aside, she's going to drag you down and you know it.
So my gf and I have been together 3 years, I am 28 she is 27. When we met she and I both were working not great jobs but I was in school and she wasn't. It didn't bother me and we would split things for the most part.
We moved into an apartment together a little over a year later. Well since then I have graduated college and managed to start a home business and also have a gaming youtube channel I make some money off of. My girlfriend however my girlfriend bis still at the same job and makes significantly less than I do. She does mostly physical work stocking and such. Well lately she has been saying that I get paid "just to sit around playing video games" and being at home. And says she works harder than me and says she should get some shopping money or money from me. Should I really be obligated to give her money? We split all the bills and the chores but outside a gift for her now and then should I really feel bad that after all bills are paid I have more money to spend on fun thing/entertainment etc.? I have suggested she go to college and get something and have said that is something I would help her with but she just says she hates school and doesn't want to be in lots of debt.
What do you all think?
It's not right of her to be resentful that you make more money by working smarter, not harder.
However, regardless of gender, once there is a fairly large disparity in income, it does behoove the wealthier party to consider "each according to their means." I did it with my ex-hub (I earned more), an ex did it with me (he earned more). Reality is that if you're not somehow sharing some of your good fortune with a live-in partner or spouse, and only spending it on yourself, sooner or later, it will become apparent that you are not a team, not a "we" but a "you and me, I got mine, you fend for yourself" kind of couple, and no emotionally healthy person, man or woman, wants to invest a whole lot of themselves in a relationship like that.
Can't blame her for not wanting to go into debt at her age.
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