Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So my gf and I have been together 3 years, I am 28 she is 27. When we met she and I both were working not great jobs but I was in school and she wasn't. It didn't bother me and we would split things for the most part.
We moved into an apartment together a little over a year later. Well since then I have graduated college and managed to start a home business and also have a gaming youtube channel I make some money off of. My girlfriend however my girlfriend bis still at the same job and makes significantly less than I do. She does mostly physical work stocking and such. Well lately she has been saying that I get paid "just to sit around playing video games" and being at home. And says she works harder than me and says she should get some shopping money or money from me. Should I really be obligated to give her money? We split all the bills and the chores but outside a gift for her now and then should I really feel bad that after all bills are paid I have more money to spend on fun thing/entertainment etc.? I have suggested she go to college and get something and have said that is something I would help her with but she just says she hates school and doesn't want to be in lots of debt.
You do at least go out and do some things together where you pay? Not saying you pay all the time but you're living together so what exactly are you splitting and is it totally equal?
At some point, not saying you're there yet, but you either start thinking about your money together or...the relationship changes...ahem.
Tell her to get over it. Shes free to start a YouTube channel so she can get paid to play games too. Instead of complaining about it, tell her to take some action
I've been in a couple of relationships with women that worked long hours. One was a physician's assistant and she was always complaining about how I 'get to do whatever you want' and on some mornings if I was still sleeping when she got up she would wake me up and ask 'Are you going to work today?' and if I said no, she wouldn't talk/call or text all day and would ignore me when she came home.
The worst days were when she knew I was jumping out of planes. She would text random things like 'This isn't working out.' 'You need to grow up.' 'I can't do this anymore.' and constantly harass the hell out of me.
One night she said 'You are going to have to man up if I ever get pregnant.' Which was laughable because I had not told her yet I had a vasectomy.
Point is: When two people coexist in a relationship and live together - both parties have preconceived ideas and expectations of the other person and resentments can develop over certain things. It leads to one or both partners beginning to look for something else and drifting apart.
says she should get some shopping money or money from me. Should I really be obligated to give her money?
We split all the bills and the chores but outside a gift for her now and then should I really feel bad that after all bills are paid I have more money to spend on fun thing/entertainment etc.? I have suggested she go to college and get something and have said that is something I would help her with but she just says she hates school and doesn't want to be in lots of debt.
What do you all think?
I think that regardless who is doing what - ALL bills should be split. That includes food too.
If you already pay your share, then all is good. You are not "obligated" to give her "shopping" money - whatever that means. If she wants to spend money for fun, then she needs to reevaluate her earnings, get some skills, better paid job, or get a second job.
You did you share.
If you're home and not working as many hours as she does, maybe splitting chores 50-50 isn't the most equitable solution. That might go a little way for her to not feel overwhelmed, even if it's not monetary. In the same vein, maybe dividing up your expenses as a percentage of your incomes, not just in half, would be fairer.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
