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I'll use myself as an example here, even though I don't know how normal my situation is: I have a close female friend with whom I have a totally platonic relationship. No awkward love confessions, no "that one time we got really wasted and hooked up," etc. But we do have a very strong emotional tie, are always texting each other, visit a couple times a year (as we now live very far away from each other), that sort of thing. Would this put you off dating someone you'd otherwise be interested in, or not?
It wouldn't put me off at all. I actually believe that men who have women friends make better partners. You need to find someone secure though, otherwise a recipe for disaster. I have seen a lot of posts on here than men and women should not be friends once they have relationships, I don't buy that and I know lots of people feel the same way. Don't worry about it.
My boyfriend has a woman friend he calls his sister from another mother. I met her and she's really nice. She actually gave him pointers to "win me over" when we first started dating! They've been friends for years and never dated so if that ship was going to sail it would have. They sometimes get together to shoot the breeze or he helps her with repairs at her house. He always tells me about it though.
I have male friends too. I don't hang out with any of them one-on-one though. We are friends through a meetup group for nerds. Lol. We go to movies as a group, the renaissance fair, etc. We also get together at my house for game nights and such. I always invite my boyfriend, but he likes that I have a life and friends outside of him.
It wouldn't put me off at all. I actually believe that men who have women friends make better partners. You need to find someone secure though, otherwise a recipe for disaster. I have seen a lot of posts on here than men and women should not be friends once they have relationships, I don't buy that and I know lots of people feel the same way. Don't worry about it.
I'm the same way. I also tend to get along better with women who get along better with men. (did that make sense?)
My boyfriend has a woman friend he calls his sister from another mother. I met her and she's really nice. She actually gave him pointers to "win me over" when we first started dating! They've been friends for years and never dated so if that ship was going to sail it would have. They sometimes get together to shoot the breeze or he helps her with repairs at her house. He always tells me about it though.
I have male friends too. I don't hang out with any of them one-on-one though. We are friends through a meetup group for nerds. Lol. We go to movies as a group, the renaissance fair, etc. We also get together at my house for game nights and such. I always invite my boyfriend, but he likes that I have a life and friends outside of him.
Yep, it's very much that vibe. We say that we're like siblings, only closer than our actual siblings. I also think you're on the right track with your boyfriend as far as having an activity that can be just yours. Most of the happiest couples I know have that same sort of dynamic.
And thanks all for reassuring me that I'm not abnormal (at least not in this sense). I think maybe the internet has kind of warped my perception a little bit. I can honestly say I had not heard anyone use the word "banged" referring to sex in at least a decade before poking around on this forum, and I'm really not all that old.
At first I did because she was my childhood friend but then I realized that's the smart way to date because I already know her well. Life is full of risks, I am gonna take this one.
As the female BFF, I can definitely say it can have challenges. One thing to keep in mind, if it's just been you and your BFF for a long time, when someone new enters the picture and you start transferring the little day-to-day aspects of life to the partner (as in the natural course of things happens) and away from the friend, it's an adjustment for the friend too to no longer have that piece of their life - to no longer have their "person" (Grey's Anatomy reference) as available to them. Not everyone can just snap their fingers and break off that emotional tie that's developed over time simply because there's someone new in the picture - no matter how much they like the person and can see that they are good for you.
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