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To my knowledge, it still exists. They used words to avoid the coldly mathematical means of rating someone (i.e "they're attractive" vs. "they're a 4"). The rating system showed up as stars; you'd click on the star level that you'd rate that particular person. As I haven't used it in a month or so, I couldn't say for certain if it still exists...they've been making a lot of changes lately.
I don't believe it does, unless it is a grandfathered feature. My last profile or two had "like" rather than stars, to which I remember dishing out lots of 1-stars... to which I guess OKC had to massage some feelings and got rid of that.
I didn't think so, unless it's now a paid subscription feature.
I was at a Meetup event Saturday and as is pretty much always the case at social events in Portland, the subject eventually turned to how much dating sucks here. I was surprised to hear that Tinder did have the reputation of being a hookup app when it first came out but now those at the event who are still using it are finding that a lot of people are on there looking for new friends. Not FWB, just platonic friendship. And the consensus was that OKC has become worthless as most of the people they are meeting from there end up not being at all compatible.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Originally Posted by NWGirl74
I didn't think so, unless it's now a paid subscription feature.
I was at a Meetup event Saturday and as is pretty much always the case at social events in Portland, the subject eventually turned to how much dating sucks here. I was surprised to hear that Tinder did have the reputation of being a hookup app when it first came out but now those at the event who are still using it are finding that a lot of people are on there looking for new friends. Not FWB, just platonic friendship. And the consensus was that OKC has become worthless as most of the people they are meeting from there end up not being at all compatible.
I find that surprising, considering how incredibly accurate their matching algorithm has been in my experience. I've never had a bad time when I met someone with 95%+ match. I've had several where there was no chemistry, but it wasn't a lack of compatibility.
I find that surprising, considering how incredibly accurate their matching algorithm has been in my experience. I've never had a bad time when I met someone with 95%+ match. I've had several where there was no chemistry, but it wasn't a lack of compatibility.
Well, in one instance, one of the guys was saying it was because the gal lied on her profile saying she had particular hobbies when she in fact loathes them which she did because "all the guys around here like these things" and she wasn't getting dates until she said she likes those things too. He has been dating someone from the site he was planning to break up with because they get along great but their lack of common interests is making their getting together feel like a chore. He said she'd be a great friend but she's just not LT GF material.
My BFF is dating someone who is "phenomenal" on paper, but like the guy at MU, they don't really have any common interests so they just do the same thing over and over. Eventually, that will not be enough for him esp given he doesn't feel a strong physical attraction to her.
My girlfriend recently told me that prior to her last BF, she found OKC to be great, but now, it's like pulling teeth to get a guy to even meet for coffee and those she has met, there was just nothing there. She's finding POF to be better in getting dates, but is now taking a break because she got tired of having to do all the pursuing.
The two I've met from OKC over the years were 95 and 93% matches and both bored me to the point I wanted to gouge my eyes out with a spoon. The last one's only hobby was reading. I recently met someone IRL (thru a shared activity) I am a 96% match with on OKC and there is no spark whatsoever.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NWGirl74
The two I've met from OKC over the years were 95 and 93% matches and both bored me to the point I wanted to gouge my eyes out with a spoon. The last one's only hobby was reading. I recently met someone IRL (thru a shared activity) I am a 96% match with on OKC and there is no spark whatsoever.
Yeah, this is such a small sample size that it really doesn't tell much. When I'm actively trying I'm meeting 3-4 a week for a few months, so in a couple of months you have a couple of score of experiences. It's a lot easier to draw a conclusion on methodology when you have a decent sample size; one offs here and there doesn't say much. Just my opinion.
Well, in one instance, one of the guys was saying it was because the gal lied on her profile saying she had particular hobbies when she in fact loathes them which she did because "all the guys around here like these things" and she wasn't getting dates until she said she likes those things too. He has been dating someone from the site he was planning to break up with because they get along great but their lack of common interests is making their getting together feel like a chore. He said she'd be a great friend but she's just not LT GF material.
My BFF is dating someone who is "phenomenal" on paper, but like the guy at MU, they don't really have any common interests so they just do the same thing over and over. Eventually, that will not be enough for him esp given he doesn't feel a strong physical attraction to her.
My girlfriend recently told me that prior to her last BF, she found OKC to be great, but now, it's like pulling teeth to get a guy to even meet for coffee and those she has met, there was just nothing there. She's finding POF to be better in getting dates, but is now taking a break because she got tired of having to do all the pursuing.
The two I've met from OKC over the years were 95 and 93% matches and both bored me to the point I wanted to gouge my eyes out with a spoon. The last one's only hobby was reading. I recently met someone IRL (thru a shared activity) I am a 96% match with on OKC and there is no spark whatsoever.
I have a question for you NWGirl74. Do you find coming across good chemistry harder now, because potentially you're older and what turned you on before doesn't turn you on now? The only reason I ask, is because you're hitting such high matches and they're boring you. Is it because they're too much like you, or they match on the things that don't matter, but you find yourself not compatible on what matters to you?
I have a habit of falling for emotionally unavailable (to me) women, but they tick off on things I like in the departments of physical attraction and being active. Someone who would sync up more with me hasn't been able to light the fire for me in the attraction or romance department. I guess you could say I'm doing some soul searching on what I truly want and what I truly need. I'm currently doing no online dating and I cut things off with my FWB. I'm pretty much fully engrossed on weight loss right now and moving into a lifestyle change. I felt I had a lot of stuff crumbling at the same time, so I decided to just blow it all up and start over new. It's been INCREDIBLY LONELY, but it's been paying HUGE DIVIDENDS on the scale and on my mountain bike.
Yeah, this is such a small sample size that it really doesn't tell much. When I'm actively trying I'm meeting 3-4 a week for a few months, so in a couple of months you have a couple of score of experiences. It's a lot easier to draw a conclusion on methodology when you have a decent sample size; one offs here and there doesn't say much. Just my opinion.
Fair enough. The gal my BFF is dating is the only one he's met after 5 years of trying OKC off and on. The two I've met are the only two I've met after about 5 years of trying too - I met the first one in 2013 (I initiated contact); the 2nd last year. I've said a thousand times on this board I do not get profile views or messages on OLD sites and those I send messages to don't respond. It may be a small sample size, but it's all I've got to work with.
I keep saying that everyone I run into here IRL complains about how hard the dating scene is. I'm hearing the same things over and over and over again. I don't know why it's so flipping hard to believe that this isn't a goldmine for dating just because that isn't the case in other cities.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NWGirl74
I keep saying that everyone I run into here IRL complains about how hard the dating scene is. I'm hearing the same things over and over and over again. I don't know why it's so flipping hard to believe that this isn't a goldmine for dating just because that isn't the case in other cities.
Well, I don't know where you live (as in outside the city), and I believe it is difficult for you. I only know the experiences of the other people I know in Portland which are very different from yours, but we've talked about that, and I think they, it can be safely said, live a very different lifestyle.
Well, I don't know where you live (as in outside the city), and I believe it is difficult for you. I only know the experiences of the other people I know in Portland which are very different from yours, but we've talked about that, and I think they, it can be safely said, live a very different lifestyle.
While I do live in a suburb, my social life almost entirely takes place in Portland. The only activity I regularly engaged in here was my improv classes and those came to an end last month as there wasn't enough interest for the program to be continued.
And yes, those I speak of here on this forum that also struggle naturally have a lifestyle similar to mine. Last September, my BFF and I decided that once a month we would find something to do we don't normally do to expose ourselves to not only new adventures but new people. So far, however, while we've found some cool events we really enjoyed, we haven't made inroads on expanding our social circle - either the events ended up not being conducive to meeting new people or the demographic wasn't what we are after.
I'll be opening myself up to an entirely new group of people next month at a regional Burning Man event and I'm hoping something will come of that in making new connections in general. Sadly, the last (first) one I attended wasn't as open and friendly as we thought it would be, but my friend has been to this one before and said it's a lot different.
Quote:
Originally Posted by weezerfan84
I have a question for you NWGirl74. Do you find coming across good chemistry harder now, because potentially you're older and what turned you on before doesn't turn you on now? The only reason I ask, is because you're hitting such high matches and they're boring you. Is it because they're too much like you, or they match on the things that don't matter, but you find yourself not compatible on what matters to you?
That's actually a really good question. I do have people in my life with whom there is really good chemistry who I am compatible with and find attractive but I'm not attracted to and vice versa. My BFF and I are a great example of this. We were curious how we matched percentage wise on OKC but couldn't find each other's profiles when we did a username search. However, if I search for my absolute, nitty gritty, as much detail as I can choose ideal on POF, he's one of only three matches. But when it comes to a romantic life partner, we aren't what each other's after.
I have three other good male friends who I've been asked several times "why don't the two of you date?" one of which people in a Meetup group we both belonged to thought we were dating for 6 months before we got wind of it - and then had great fun with. These are all men I met IRL.
The two that I met from OKC over the years, and one I went out with from speed dating (3 of my 4 dates from 2013 - today), a huge part of it was in incompatibility in sense of humor. You probably can't tell from here, but I'm actually naturally an incredibly funny person. That doesn't always translate on paper. With the first OKC date and the speed date guy, I wondered what was wrong with me because these were genuinely good guys and they bored the life out of me. I eventually realized that I'd spent over 2 hours on the first "meet" with both of them and didn't laugh once. I made one of them laugh a few times but he didn't make me laugh and the guy from speed dating, I remember thinking "okay, I know that was funny" a couple of times where he didn't laugh. We also didn't really have common interests so conversation kept circling back to the same topic vs conversation moving smoothly from one topic to the next.
The last guy I met, also from OKC, he did have a better sense of humor but he had no ambition in life, he only has one hobby, and he only has one friend he never sees. And he's currently here on an expired VISA so he can't travel - one of the things I'm looking for in life (in general) is a travel partner. Conversation with him tended to come to a halt and then there'd be an awkward pause as one of us tried to think of something else to talk about. The 96% match I met through real life I don't feel a physical attraction to. We have a mutual friend and he told our friend he'd read my profile but didn't feel like I was someone he'd be compatible with.
I had over 600 questions answered last time so I'm not really sure why I'm getting high matches who bore the crap out of me. I do know, however, I was contacted by someone who wasn't a high match who was a recovering addict and outright told me he was emailing me because I was one of only a handful of women whose profile said they didn't drink, smoke or do drugs and that made me "safe." I eventually left the "drinks" question blank to try to improve my profile views but it didn't make a difference.
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to which I guess OKC had to massage some feelings and got rid of that.
