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You're allowed to not be okay with porn; it doesn't make you a "bad" person. But she enjoys it, and you need to be honest with yourself about whether it's worth ending the relationship over, especially if she's watching it on her own time.
That's the thing. There's a lot about porn that objectionable, but as we say to women who have issues when their SOs watch it, as long as OP's girlfriend isn't rubbing his nose in it, and as long as she's not choosing porn instead of their sex life, it's something OP either has to pretend is not happening or he has to walk away if he can't.
A lot of women prefer gay porn because straight porn really doesn't emphasize the guy as much. If it's not of religious or political reasons, there's nothing to agree or disagree with regarding gay sex. If you don't like it, don't watch it.
I mean... Are you one of those people that hate porn and can't deal with a partner watching it? If so, regardless of the porn she looks at, it doesn't seem like you two are compatible. These types of differences result in one person sneaking it and the other person one day finding out and getting upset even though they understood that the person liked porn to begin with-so if this is a deal breaker and you would rather she not watch it then because she does watch it and likes it I think you two are not right for each other. If this is less about porn and more about the type--figure out what it is that bothers you. Is it because you are not gay and find it strange? Is it because you know you would never be able to fulfill this desire for her? Figure out what it is that bothers you and discuss it with her. This is obviously an insecurity that you have. If it's impacting your relationship it needs to be addressed, if not, get over it. I watch lesbian porn. I don't watch porn very often, but could not be with a man that was against it, or that had a problem with me watching it. You have to pick your battles. *shrugs*
Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't liberals more tolerant of people's sexual preferences and conservatives generally deeply opposed to homosexuality? You don't sound too liberal in that regard, citing your disdain for intolerance yet here you are being intolerant. Sounds a wee bit hypocritical.
I am liberal in that I am environmentalist, pro choice, pro embryonic stem cell research, pro alternative energy, pro universal health care, pro separation of church and state, anti-war yet I am pro-gun and don't view homosexuality as truly legitimate.
So on the spectrum of liberal and conservative. I'd say I am 90% liberal.
I believe I can call myself a liberal without having to subscribe dogmatically to everything that the group stand for.
Anyways I didn't want this thread to be a debate about political beliefs.
This is one thing that I think she may grow out of, seeing how she's still young (presumably in her early 20s).
Whatever partner you choose, there will nearly always be something not 100% perfect about them. This is where you get to decide if you can tolerate their defect, practice your conflict resolution skills with the person (perhaps talking to her why it bothers you, and what is it that she likes about it, and if her not doing it around you would be acceptable), or if it is a deal breaker.
On the flip side, your next girl friend who is not into gay porn may one day decide she's into it
I like your response. I agree that no one is ever going to be 100% perfect. I just have to choose what I can tolerate and what are deal breakers. There always seems to be a fine line between the two.
She has grown a lot over the past two years and I love seeing her evolve. Perhaps your right, she might grow out of it. But I won't count on it.
If I want to seek for a compromise or some other form of resolution, how should I approach it so she doesn't feel bad about herself or feel like there would be an ultimatum?
Perhaps I might forward her some literature on the negative effects of porn?
Maybe I missed it but is she watching porn involving guys or women?
That's what I was wondering and it's absolutely normal. Guy on guy, no go. Two chicks? YES.
If she made me watch 2 guys getting it on it would be difficult, no impossible, for me to proceed after.
Sounds natural to me.
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