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Old 04-22-2016, 12:01 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles CA
1,637 posts, read 1,339,925 times
Reputation: 1055

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I don't about how many people here believe in work life balance.
But it appears my current GF has no clue how to juggle a relationship.

When I am trying to make plans to go to the beach for the weekend. She wants to get ahead on the weekend at her job then study for loads of hours for some of the classes she is currently taking at a university to finish up her degree program.
I got nothing against it the problem is that she doesn't put in the effort to spend time together.

She's a Type A personality. Now I like someone that's ambitious don't get me wrong but its hard to develop the relationship more further if we hardly spend time together.
I complain and told her" Why don't you want to spend time with me if it's been 3 weeks.
Then she's like " Sorry I want to get ahead"

At her job shes a Paralegal for a small firm but she says that she has lots of paperwork that can't wait so she has to come in on a Saturday then couple more hours on Sunday.
She's doing it in chances of getting a promotion

Then I said " So you don't want to spend time with me?"

But then shes like " I do but I have so much to do I can't rest"

I try to be supportive and patient about it but if there are 24 hours in a day, it's possible to at least squeeze in some time to spend together.

I don't mean to so like a *****. I like her because we can relate plenty of our goals and we are compatible in many ways.

I told her we could study together too but she said she can't study if she's distracted.

I understand life gets in the way sometimes but even when i'm very busy. I make time always for the people I love and care about no matter how busy I am.



What should I do or tell her? I get along with her in every other way but we don't spend enough time together. And if I do I feel like its a chore to keep reminding her.
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Old 04-22-2016, 12:13 PM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,008,502 times
Reputation: 5963
she is who she is. You either accept that or move along, and meet someone that shares the same wants a desires you have.
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Old 04-22-2016, 12:15 PM
 
4,236 posts, read 8,095,148 times
Reputation: 10208
I wish I was going out with someone that was that driven.

I seem to be a magnet for the netflix and chill types.
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Old 04-22-2016, 12:28 PM
Status: "Mistress of finance and foods." (set 27 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
50,085 posts, read 63,445,200 times
Reputation: 92681
If I were you, I would become less available. She has made it clear that you come second, so either accept it, or move on.
Maybe she just means she's too busy for right now, but will become more balanced after her career goals have been met. You just need to decide how much you are willing to tolerate.
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Old 04-22-2016, 12:35 PM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
1,659 posts, read 1,650,786 times
Reputation: 6149
Well, it does beat the multitude of threads complaining about he/she not pulling their own weight. She's obviously driven and you're not going to change that. Either accept it for what it is or move on.
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Old 04-22-2016, 12:42 PM
 
4,380 posts, read 4,436,547 times
Reputation: 4437
Quote:
Originally Posted by CosmoStars View Post
I understand life gets in the way sometimes but even when i'm very busy. I make time always for the people I love and care about no matter how busy I am.
I think you answered your own question. Are you familiar with the phrase "never make someone a priority who is only willing to make you an option"?

How long have you been dating and has she always been this busy or is this a recent development?
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Old 04-22-2016, 01:40 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,688 posts, read 19,836,626 times
Reputation: 42960
How much longer until she has her degree? What happens after that, what is her plan?


Is it a paralegal degree?
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Old 04-22-2016, 01:44 PM
 
Location: So Cal
51,932 posts, read 52,351,366 times
Reputation: 52417
Being a chronic workaholic is a problem for me. Short term it can serve a purpose and has some merits.

The problem is is that being a workaholic is the last "vice" that isn't admonished, but seen as someone being "driven" or "ambitious" but a lot of the times the core issues of it are the same as people who gamble or drink or eat too much, it's a way of avoiding life and or trying to fill some kind of hole in their lives. That's when it's a problem.
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Old 04-22-2016, 01:59 PM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,621,875 times
Reputation: 54728
Does she know you refer to her as your "current" girlfriend? Doesn't sound like you are any more invested in the future of the relationship than she is, so have fun while it lasts and stop overthinking it. Maybe your next girlfriend will be better.
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Old 04-22-2016, 02:02 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,653 posts, read 34,157,181 times
Reputation: 76723
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
Being a chronic workaholic is a problem for me. Short term it can serve a purpose and has some merits.

The problem is is that being a workaholic is the last "vice" that isn't admonished, but seen as someone being "driven" or "ambitious" but a lot of the times the core issues of it are the same as people who gamble or drink or eat too much, it's a way of avoiding life and or trying to fill some kind of hole in their lives. That's when it's a problem.
Yeah, and a lot of times that kind of person can't relax. So if the OP's girlfriend does stay in with him, she's constantly thinking of and stressing out about all the stuff she needs to do at work, and he doesn't have her full attention even if she's physically there.
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