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OP makes a valid point. 'Loose woman' which I guess is the new political correct term, have created a level of expectation that some men have. People these days believe in having the "most fun as possible" but then expect a high quality partner to marry. Pretty distasteful that your soul mate was used by other men/woman. Anyway, Woman who sleep around do not garnish the respect from men and their stock deteriorates, Hence why many are so desperate on dating websites. Men who are used to having the milk before the cow try everywoman that they can, and simply move on when they get or do not get what they want. But I feel if woman who stick to their moral ground and not get emotionally hyped up over crappy dudes, then they will be okay.
Am I the only one that feels this way? As a female, I feel hopeless at times. Because I don't have sex by the third date. And the men typically leave then or shortly thereafter, knowing they can just get it somewhere else. I feel like it's ruining things for decent women who aren't like that. I'm attractive, but I can't keep a man to save my life once he knows I take my time.
I wouldn't say they are loose, just different beliefs about sex from you, but yes I feel the same that the whole sex on the third date thing makes it difficult for women with our beliefs since we choose to wait. That being said I don't feel bad about it. I'm not f**** a man on the third date so if he can't deal with that then I don't care because I'm not invested in him to begin with. Shrugs.
OP makes a valid point. 'Loose woman' which I guess is the new political correct term, have created a level of expectation that some men have. People these days believe in having the "most fun as possible" but then expect a high quality partner to marry. Pretty distasteful that your soul mate was used by other men/woman. Anyway, Woman who sleep around do not garnish the respect from men and their stock deteriorates, Hence why many are so desperate on dating websites. Men who are used to having the milk before the cow try everywoman that they can, and simply move on when they get or do not get what they want. But I feel if woman who stick to their moral ground and not get emotionally hyped up over crappy dudes, then they will be okay.
Wouldn't it be lovely if everyone got their comeuppance for having multiple partners (eye roll). I think you'll find that people who've had multiple partners often date and marry like minded people, and are not sent off to some farm to serve their penance. I'm sure you wish it was different, but tough luck!
Am I the only one that feels this way? As a female, I feel hopeless at times. Because I don't have sex by the third date. And the men typically leave then or shortly thereafter, knowing they can just get it somewhere else. I feel like it's ruining things for decent women who aren't like that. I'm attractive, but I can't keep a man to save my life once he knows I take my time.
If a guy won't wait a few dates, he's either not the right guy or you're not the right woman. Look in the mirror and stop blaming others for YOUR problem.
OP makes a valid point. 'Loose woman' which I guess is the new political correct term, have created a level of expectation that some men have. People these days believe in having the "most fun as possible" but then expect a high quality partner to marry. Pretty distasteful that your soul mate was used by other men/woman. Anyway, Woman who sleep around do not garnish the respect from men and their stock deteriorates, Hence why many are so desperate on dating websites. Men who are used to having the milk before the cow try everywoman that they can, and simply move on when they get or do not get what they want. But I feel if woman who stick to their moral ground and not get emotionally hyped up over crappy dudes, then they will be okay.
There have always been loose men with that expectation, even back in Victorian times. I read that back then, all a like-minded man had to do was give a certain glance to women passing in the street, or in other public or semi-public places, and like-minded women would respond. And considering how many couples who do get married young--in the more traditional parts of the country--these days, and then divorced, there's an awful lot of used people floating around, whether they initially waited for marriage or not. Nobody seems to find that distasteful. What about you, do you expect your choice of partner to accept you, even though you've been "used" by others? Don't you find that distasteful, yourself? I bet your stock wouldn't even be acceptable for a junk bond.
Am I the only one that feels this way? As a female, I feel hopeless at times. Because I don't have sex by the third date. And the men typically leave then or shortly thereafter, knowing they can just get it somewhere else. I feel like it's ruining things for decent women who aren't like that. I'm attractive, but I can't keep a man to save my life once he knows I take my time.
Have you always had this mindset? Have you always waited until you got to know a guy before intimacy?
All due respect, we can agree to disagree on this. If a woman doesn't have sex with you by the 2nd-3rd date, then there's a good chance she will never have sex with you. She's almost certainly using you because she wants you to spend money on her (dinner, movies, etc.).
These days, I always have sex on the first "date" (though I don't really call them dates).
When I was younger, if I didn't get lucky by the 2nd-3rd date, I was gone. I'm glad I didn't waste time with those women, because they would probably have ending up stringing me along forever. No thanks.
I wouldn't go that far. There is a whole lot of wiggle room between a peck on the cheek and sex to signal interest. Moreover, getting physical isn't the only way to signal interest. In fact, getting physical may not even BE a sign of interest for a lot of women these days. A guy might just be scratching an itch because he happens to be there, ready, willing, and able. Doesn't mean a woman actually likes him, any more than it means a man actually likes a woman.
The bottom line for the relationship-minded is that there are no guarantees. Imagine someone like the OP waiting two months, finally having sex, and then being dumped shortly thereafter because the guy doesn't like her sexual style or, quite frankly, doesn't like the way she looks with her clothes off. Conversely, if a man really likes a woman, he'll stick around regardless of how soon they have sex because he enjoys her company.
It's really only people who are too lazy to take each person who comes along as an individual who need to define someone's worthiness as a partner by a number. That goes for both ends of the spectrum, the "prospect must wait X number of dates to prove interest" and the "prospect must sleep with me in X number of dates to prove interest."
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Don't you find that distasteful, yourself? I bet your stock wouldn't even be acceptable for a junk bond.
