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I had an interesting conversation with my friend's wife. She's a woman. I'm a man. The gist of the conversation was that she believed that, given the opportunity, all men would cheat. I countered with "If a man is happy, he won't."
I couldn't convince her of my theory and she couldn't convince me of hers. And it was upsetting her, so I just let it go.
What do you think?
I think, if a man is happy, he won't cheat. But if he's unhappy, well - he might. Maybe not now. Maybe not tomorrow. But given the opportunity, yeah....he might go for it.
If you're happy...why go looking?
Mmkay...I'm not convinced about your theory either. Maybe YOU won't cheat when you're happy, but suggesting all men that are happy won't cheat is kinda naive. For most men (not all men), I don't think it's about being happy, I think it's all about the thrill of getting some new hmm-hmm ! Just my two cents.
So to answer your question, some men DO cheat and at the same time are perfectly content with their wives at home.
I agree. Men like their convenience. Very few would get a divorce because of an affair they're having. It usually only happens after the wife finds out and wants to divorce him. Having your cake and eating it too is the best! Men seem to be better at understanding that new-person excitement is one thing and acquiring a new set of similar problems entirely another. We women appear to be more gullible in this department.
Maybe some cheat because they can't get certain things they want at home. I am not condoning this, just adding this. Maybe they thought they married a sexually adventurous woman, and the woman won't do the things they want to do. I am not talking about threesomes or swinging. I am talking about between the two of them. There seems to be a lot of people looking for certain needs to be met and maybe that's what it is about. Which means.......know the person you are marrying, and yes, sex is important and no, love won't conquer all...
I'm a man, I've been happy and unhappy in relationships, and I've never cheated.
My values are more important to me than getting laid.
Good for you!
Well, I'll expand on this by saying what would cause a man to become "unhappy" as a result of the woman's behavior and I can only think of 2 things.
First:
The appearance of the woman you initially hooked up with changed for the worse, and because of a lack of discipline and NOT a change in health
Second:
The woman you initially hooked up has started to nag excessively. If a woman constantly nags, she DOESN'T love you...the nagging is about how she thinks it ought to be, so its genesis can be selfish. Even Dr. Laura, who I am not particularly fond of, but will listen to when bored acknowledges that female nagging can destroy a relationship or marriage.
If he is unhappy for reasons beyond those, the "issues" are usually in his court.
Men seem to be better at understanding that new-person excitement is one thing and acquiring a new set of similar problems entirely another. We women appear to be more gullible in this department.
Thank you for insight that most women do not want to admit. You are obviously a smart lady.
Men who do cheat usually do so WITHOUT their heart being involved in it. Usually, they found somebody HOT who is willing to do the nasty but don't want her in their lives. They like, for the most part, what they have at home.
Women who cheat THINK that the new person will change things or bring them the fulfillment they are missing. I CANNOT stand the sappy "But I think he loves me" or "I think he really cares about me." Most of time, he doesn't, so don't screw up your family and, instead, try to fix what you've got.
Up until I got to college, I used to think that men and women processed things the same way DESPITE having different plumbing. Was I wrong!!!
I certainly don't think you can truly love someone and cheat on them. If you love someone you could never want to hurt them. In that way as well. You wouldn't even think about it.
I don't believe all men are natural cheats. I believe some men never grow up and feel it's OK to take it where they can. Like a kid in the Candy store.
A lot of men are nice decent blokes who would never, ever cheat on their partners/wives.
If you love and respect someone the subject will not even enter your head. Respect is paramount.
So I would say no if you are truly happy with someone you don't cheat. Content maybe. Happy no. I refuse to believe anyone would willingly jeopardise true happiness for a bit of fun between the sheets.
I believe most of us can tell the difference between right and wrong. And have the ability to say no to temptation. It's called being an adult.
At the end of the day nobody can force you to be in love with your wife/husband but the least you owe them if you aren't is to leave them not to go behind their back.
Respect, honesty and trust. It sounds trite but it works.
I think that no matter how happy anyone is they will still cheat,it may not be intentional,sometimes things just happen whether they be drunk or just really attracted to someone they just met.It happens,most men are wired a certain way and they can be perfectly happy at home and still get it on with someone else.Watch the movie "I Think I Love My Wife",with Chris Rock.
I had an interesting conversation with my friend's wife. She's a woman. I'm a man. The gist of the conversation was that she believed that, given the opportunity, all men would cheat. I countered with "If a man is happy, he won't."
Women are just as bad. I've seen married wives get filthy while their hubby's were on deployment. The stuff I've seen is enough to make your stomach turn.
Thats not 'entirely' true. I can tell you that from experience. He was happy with everything I gave, and told me that many times. But one woman just wasnt enough.
Drunk is not an excuse. Because when your drunk you know what your doing at that moment your doing it. Granted, you may not remember it the next day, but when drunk you know darn welll what your doing at that moment! and everyone here has been drunk and knows they were being stupid etc.
Sure men are wired differently, but then so are women. And a woman is just as likely to cheat if she is feeling unloved, unappreciated, ignored, belittled, abused, etc...Men can do it for sexual gratification, to see if they still have it, or just to see if they can get away with it. However, some men do it to feel loved and appreciated as well, after all men need love too....but Generally a woman may do it for the whole emotional reason.
Either way, for most couples, once that trust is broken its broken and its hard to recover, and everytime they walk out the door the other partner is going to wonder, and its just miserable.. Just a nasty nasty bit of business. Cheating is a conscious decision to go forward with something you know is totally wrong! and doing it regardless of who it may hurt, and often its justified with selfish reasonings.
Seriously, If sex is a major importance to someone....and yet they still chose to marry a woman or man that is NOT the same as them with regards to the bedroom activites, then buck up! shut up, accept it and deal with it for "till death us do part" or they shouldnt have gotten married! instead they could have found someone thats more to their likes. People make a choice knowing full well something like this could be a problem, yet still get married..and then cheat and blame the spouse.. Its not like squeezing toothpaste wrong, in that case buy them their own tube. This is real people real marriages.
Sex isnt everything, but it is a big part. People should really take a good look at the person they plan to spend the rest of thier life with, knowing before they say those vows, that they can live everysingle dayyyyyyyyyy with what this person is about.
Now a days-People view dating as movies, dinners and romance hopping in and out of bed.....growing up I was taught dating as finding a life partner that I could grow old with, if I dated someone and they were not working out, I broke up! and yes I told them why. But I wasnt about to settle for something or someone that I wasnt happy with just for the sake of having someone or to "be married". I knew when I met my husband it was right, he was right for me and vice versa. We are huge communicators. We take time out for us, we dont so caught up with everything around us, we lose track of us.
I have zero tolerance for cheating, if a peson is not happy and they are not willing to try and give the other person a chance to work it out with then get a divorce. And then go sc**w around. But dont cheat and drag them through the heartache its a total cop-out and lower then low!
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Drunk is not an excuse to cheat
