Comedy, For the Men..What NOT To Give Her For Valentines Day. (wife, Valentine's Day)

[JD59]

What NOT To Give Her For Valentines Day

1. A box of chocolates, clumsily rearranged in an attempt to
hide the fact you ate all the caramel ones.

2. Any food item with the words "diet," "light," or "high
fiber" on the label.

3. Any video starring Sylvester Stallone or Jim Carrey.

4. Flowers from a hospital's gift shop--or worse, a
mortuary's.

5. Any household appliance, power tool or other item from
the harder side of Sears.

6. A gift certificate.

7. Cash.

8. Anything you could have bought at the gas station
mini-mart on the way over, even if you didn't.

9. An apologetic look and the words "That was today?"

[firekeg]

a pre-nump

a plot in a cemetary

steak knives

[gentlearts]

A nose hair trimmer

[DontH8Me]

Originally Posted by firekeg

a pre-nump

a plot in a cemetary

steak knives

I'll take number three any day - as long as they're Henckels, Wusthof, or Solingen. And that's no joke!

[firekeg]

Originally Posted by DontH8Me

I'll take number three any day - as long as they're Henckels, Wusthof, or Solingen. And that's no joke!

LOL... why??? so you can carve a nice steak out of me?!?!?!?! I think I'll hold off on the knife buying

[DontH8Me]

Originally Posted by firekeg

LOL... why??? so you can carve a nice steak out of me?!?!?!?! I think I'll hold off on the knife buying

I have this thing about knives. Good ones. Makes me weak in the knee just thinking about a freshly honed Henckels Twin Select all stainless steel carving knife.

Plus I'm a steak eater - strictly beef, though, so you're safe with me.

[Rhett_Butler]

Okay, not trying to ruin the spirit of the thread BUT...

Originally Posted by John1960

4. Flowers from a hospital's gift shop--or worse, a
mortuary's.

You've seen a mortuary with a gift shop???

Originally Posted by John1960

6. A gift certificate.

I'm getting my wife a gift certificate...... You forgot one that WILL work. A gift certificate to a Spa for a massage, facial, manicure, pedicure.... Heh heh, awwwwright..

Originally Posted by John1960

9. An apologetic look and the words "That was today?"

LOL!!! Usually instead it's the..... "Uhhhh, yeah thanks for your card honey. I gotta, ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm go get some milk I'll be right back!!"

[firekeg]

Originally Posted by DontH8Me

I have this thing about knives. Good ones. Makes me weak in the knee just thinking about a freshly honed Henckels Twin Select all stainless steel carving knife.

Plus I'm a steak eater - strictly beef, though, so you're safe with me.

Yeah... right up until the point that you want to start cutting out tube steak in your sleepLOL Not with any knife I buy ya

[DontH8Me]

Originally Posted by firekeg

Yeah... right up until the point that you want to start cutting out tube steak in your sleepLOL Not with any knife I buy ya

You must have me confused with Lorena Bobbitt.

[firekeg]

quote=DontH8Me;2817495]You must have me confused with Lorena Bobbitt.[/quote]




Sheesh... Okay okay.... here's your knives LOL

Happy Valentine's Day

It is after midnite here