Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It seems that when my match on online dating finds out that I'm a belly dancer, that is the last I ever hear from them. Another woman in one of my classes suggested that instead of saying "belly dancing", I say that I am into "middle eastern dancing".
I rather dropped that notion when she suggested it because of my need to be honest. If for whatever reason they can't accept what I am, then it is fair to them to find out that right up front......and fair to me. Another thing is, of course, that belly dancing is more than middle eastern dancing.
After reading this thread //www.city-data.com/forum/curre...scare-ucf.html however, I wonder with people's reactions to the phrase "middle east" if stating those words would make me hotter........as in "dropped like a hot potato".
How weird. Most guys I know would ask for a private show rather than drop you. Are you looking to date very conservative guys?
Well, two things, in reverse order.
What I usually hear when students and co-workers find out that I dance is "Show us some moves!"......to which my answer is, "Can't! It's against custom to do things out of costume.". Seriously, it rather is, ranging from respecting one's self as a dancer to respecting the art (such as, for example, wearing a kaftan over one's costume unless actually performing).
Now then, well, maybe my profile, having rechecked it, is putting them off. I don't think I come across as conservative (more on that in a moment) but more as running at full speed in liberal type activities (animals, art, volunteering). My conservative side (ie, long story short my LE past life), I don't even mention in my profile............
..........I do say the "deadly" horse word.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Like Sugar
Is belly dancing your profession or just a hobby?
Well, it's not a profession but it is more than hobby in that it is rather my life. First of all, I've been doing it since 1987. Secondly, it comes under what I call the "Cassandra Effect": "[on her career before she landed her "Elvira" job in 1981] I was your typical struggling actress. I went to every audition, took a million acting, dancing and singing lessons, and spent years wondering where my next meal was coming from.".
I don't worry where my next meal is coming from, but I take as many classes, workshops, conventions as I can, try to be part as many troupes as I can.
The "Cassandra Effect", however, is just one of those inspirational things that I have applied to my life; I don't expect anyone else to know what I am talking about when I mention it. Am I wrong here, however? Does saying that one is a dancer, be it belly or other wise, immediately communicate an image of someone who will be so involved with dancing that they won't have any time for their date?
Last edited by TamaraSavannah; 04-28-2016 at 01:51 AM..
What I usually hear when students and co-workers find out that I dance is "Show us some moves!"......to which my answer is, "Can't! It's against custom to do things out of costume.". Seriously, it rather is, ranging from respecting one's self as a dancer to respecting the art (such as, for example, wearing a kaftan over one's costume unless actually performing).
Now then, well, maybe my profile, having rechecked it, is putting them off. I don't think I come across as conservative (more on that in a moment) but more as running at full speed in liberal type activities (animals, art, volunteering). My conservative side (ie, long story short my LE past life), I don't even mention in my profile............
..........I do say the "deadly" horse word.
This is a bit cryptic to read. Why don't you just say what you mean and we can offer suggestions?
I don't worry where my next meal is coming from, but I take as many classes, workshops, conventions as I can, try to be part as many troupes as I can.
It doesn't seem that it's your actual hobby that is the issue, but the fact that you are so involved in it. If a guy immediately gets the impression that you're going to devote more time and energy to the belly dancing than you are to him, then he's not going to waste the time and effort getting to know you. Another issue with your hobby is that it's one that by nature can't include men. In many cases, people with that intense an interest in something end up finding a partner who shares that interest.
There's nothing wrong with having a "like" or "interest" in something. I have lots of hobbies, but they're all pretty casual. Most of them are also good activities to share with a partner, so even if I do have a female-only activity (which I do), it isn't really taking up 90% of my time.
Don't include belly dancing or horses in your profile, then. IMO, you come off as a bit incoherent in your post here. Have you considered being a bit more circumspect until you get to know a man better?
If you're attractive and pleasant in person, a man is more likely to remain interested than if you throw all of your eccentricities in his face at once.
....... Another issue with your hobby is that it's one that by nature can't include men........
Sigh, I guess so many people are just mis-informed.
https://www.google.com/search?q=men+...HRGXAMIQsAQIGw
(it's a picture link of men in belly dancing)
Granted, there aren't as many men in belly dancing as there are women, but they do exist. I suppose, though, this world is not really understood by the outside.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie
Don't include belly dancing or horses in your profile, then. IMO, you come off as a bit incoherent in your post here. Have you considered being a bit more circumspect until you get to know a man better?
If you're attractive and pleasant in person, a man is more likely to remain interested than if you throw all of your eccentricities in his face at once.
Well, then, I'm not being honest with them from the start. How can they ever trust me if I don't tell them a huge aspect of myself from the start?
Is being so upfront a quality that is not appreciated in the modern world?
Last edited by TamaraSavannah; 04-28-2016 at 05:49 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
