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I believe I'm decent looking. I'm 6 feet tall and have an athletic physique. I know how to dress and take care of my appearance. I have gotten looks and smiles from women all my life, but since I'm introverted, shy, and quiet. I never really approached them, except for a few occasions.
I've always been very shy and quiet since I can remember. Even when I was in kindergarten, I would keep to myself, I would follow the female teacher everywhere. I know the genetic component is very high because my father and grandpa are the same. I have tried everything to overcome it, CBT, therapy, self-affirmations, hypnosis, public speaking, facing my fears, etc.
Even though it helped, it was just a little improvement for all the effort and money I invested, the only thing that works is alcohol, or medication (which comes with nasty sexual and health side effects). All of these are palliatives, they don't fix the problem. Do you know how many times I've said to myself: 'I look good, I'm dressed well, I know I'm attractive... yet why do I still feel like a social pariah?'
You could have an amazing physique, good looking face, deep pockets and fake all the confidence you like... doesn't matter. Unless the inside is ridden of this thing, all other changes are ripples on top of the water. They don't affect the major current below the surface.
When I was younger like 15, when girls would glance at me, I would just blush or look down at the floor. Over the years, I gained more confidence, and I was able to keep eye contact, smile, and sometimes say hello, but that was it.
I had 3 girlfriends in my whole life, and they all approached me. I just can't force myself to approach, is not fear of rejection holding me back, I think I'm really afraid of making a fool of myself. I'M AFRAID OF THEM BEING DISAPPOINTED IN ME, and finding out that the guy they fancy (me), turned out to be quiet and shy, so they then lose interest in me.
I'm afraid of this, because it has happened to me before, I have casually talked with random females, who I don't find attractive, just random small talk, and you can tell, that they kind of treat me differently, once they notice I'm quiet and shy. They reacted to me/treated me differently before we spoke.
My shyness has more to do with talking, than with body languages, if you saw me on the streets, you wouldn't think I'm shy because I walk confidently, I may even come off as stuck up or too full of myself.
Such is life, I guess, there is not much I can do, except just be myself, hopefully, find someone who accepts me for who I am.
Actually, shyness is not what women don't like. It's a complete lack of self-confidence. THAT is your issue.
Ya, doesn't make sense why you find it unattractive, and yes obviously men have to do all or most of the work in dating and relationships, we have to approach, that means start the conversation, keep it going in the beginning, ask for the number, ask her out, plan and set up the date, call/text first, go for the first kiss, escalate to sex and so on. C'Mon, what does the woman do? I can't think of anything
Her mere presence in your life is more than enough.
Women don't mind shy guys, as long as they are good looking or have something peculiar that attracts them, which is why I had girlfriends before. Also, the women who may be ok with them may also be kind of shy, so they may feel more comfortable with someone who is similar to them. I had these girlfriends back in my home country Colombia, where dating is much easier and women are more laid back, less stuck-up. Here in the United States, the competition is very fierce and women demand the best, which includes, looks, personality, money, status, education, etc.
Simply having looks, doesn't cut it in this country. You need to have the whole package.
It makes sense why women don't like shy men, because, throughout history, men have been the protectors, the fighters, the leaders, the ones who keep the families together. If you are shy, it shows that you are fearful and will be unable to protect them, even if you have the stature and physique to do so. Women are submissive by nature, which is why they prefer men who are outgoing, courageous, brave and take control.
It depends on what you want. I look okay. Little money. Shy, introverted, although I open up quickly in one to one conversation. I don't have many problems once I find some things in common and actually have something to talk with a woman about. Blind conversations, on prompt, on cue, not so much.
Her mere presence in your life is more than enough.
Yes but what does the woman do in terms of making an effort to start a relationship with a guy? Seems like she is passive and does nothing, and even while in the relationship because the man is still expected to plan and set up most of the dates and vacation and travel plans, where and when to go, or whatever activity to do
If a shy bloke can't or won't approach a woman or is intimidated by the " competition " ( of other blokes vying for the woman ) who's fault is that?
His or hers? .....
Can't argue or discuss anything with these guys because they have their minds made up. It's essentially talking to a brick wall. They refuse to acknowledge their own part in the problem and blame their issues on everything else.
Just let them have it and stay mad at the world for something it didn't do.
Can't argue or discuss anything with these guys because they have their minds made up. It's essentially talking to a brick wall. They refuse to acknowledge their own part in the problem and blame their issues on everything else.
Just let them have it and stay mad at the world for something it didn't do.
Hmmmmm ............
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