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Assuming that it is a heterosexual match-up, how would online dating be good for women and not men? Certainly not only the top 10% of men are finding dates, right?
I think the most interesting and maybe most true point of the opening salvo is that online dating has contributed to a decline in real-world social skills. .
The vast majority of online activity, not just dating, probably correlates to an overall decline in social skills, IMO.
Meh, was dating in general ever good? Seems like it always kinda sucked. Whenever my parents told me about their dating before they met each other, it didn't sound great. Sounded about as difficult in the 70s & early 80s as it was when I started dating in the early 2000s. My mom and her friends used to go out to bars once a week when they were young... she said a bunch of married guys would hit on her, so doesn't sound that different than what women deal with now both IRL and online.
I came of age post-internet dating, although it was much more stigmatized back then as something only desperate people or losers did. On the plus side, it was not free which put the gender ratio a little less slanted against guys. On the downside, pictures were optional since they were not easily uploaded from phones or digital cameras and slow internet speeds made images very slow to load or poor quality, so you didn't always see what you were getting. In the late 2000s pictures became required and I'd argue that now the pictures are everything... the exposition basically irrelevant. The future will be Tinder-like apps where no words are needed or a few phrases at most. The hyper-focus on looks & snap judgments made from pictures skews things strangely.
Another problem is that men and women use the internet in fundamentally different ways. There's no logical reason the man:woman ratio with OLD should be 2:1 up to 10:1. But it is, and I think it's because of the way men use the internet.
Plus, things aren't perfect on the woman's side. The height complaint that many guys have cuts both ways. If a woman is not at an above-average attractiveness level, she will get a lot of ugly messages. I have a female friend who got divorced and later tried OLD for 6 months. She had to stop because it really lowered her mood - a lot of her messages were VERY unkind comments about her looks. Granted that was not a majority, but you remember the ugly stuff. The internet for whatever reasons lowers human discourse to a disturbing level.
Many of the men and even women are married. They're using online dating as hookups. There was even a special website for marrieds who wanted to cheat but hackers put an end to it.
Many of the people you go out on dates with from online sites are married, if not already in relationships/living with someone. They're either unhappy or just enjoy stepping out. Why do you want to be in the middle of that mess? You know, the other partner who's getting cheated on will come around looking - and may find you there.
Another problem is that men and women use the internet in fundamentally different ways. There's no logical reason the man:woman ratio with OLD should be 2:1 up to 10:1. But it is, and I think it's because of the way men use the internet.
I work in male-dominated job sites that attract few young people, and even fewer of the opposite sex. All the jobs in my field are located out in monotonous industrial parks far removed from any urban nightlife or cultural points of interest. If I were single again, basic protocol would be online game supplemented with whatever connections you can make through work/church/hobbies to strengthen your social circle, then attend parties and gatherings whenever possible. Dance scenes are overrated, co-ed sports groups just never seem to have the kind of girls I'm looking for. My other hobbies, country/rockabilly guitar and traveling to off-the-beaten-path destinations, don't really involve members of the opposite sex. More creative protocol is to find the time and energy to learn day game and cold approach the rare interesting looking girl you see in a local starbucks or whatever. Also, take a class/troll around locales at community colleges in your suburb, or commute to a major university in the city and troll away. Major (but not too prestigious) universities will have the highest percentage of young, single, reasonably attractive girls. All of that takes an incredible amount of energy, time, money, and optimism and is way easier said than done.
Then there's international dating, which is a whole new set of rules. Decide what region you're open to, learn the language, study the culture, the people, the history, talk to other men who found wives there, learn the game required, the pros/cons of said women/culture, then find the resources and time off/mobile income to spend the ample time you'll need visiting said country and bring an eventual prospect to your local area to get acquainted with your people as well.
The future will be Tinder-like apps where no words are needed or a few phrases at most.
I think this is probably likely, and I'm so glad I'm no longer dating, because I'd likely be abandoning online options if they were all Tinder-esque apps.
I always did my selecting weighted heavily on the words, and it served me well. I did my online dating at the right time, for my priorities and interests.
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Plus, things aren't perfect on the woman's side. The height complaint that many guys have cuts both ways. If a woman is not at an above-average attractiveness level, she will get a lot of ugly messages. I have a female friend who got divorced and later tried OLD for 6 months. She had to stop because it really lowered her mood - a lot of her messages were VERY unkind comments about her looks. Granted that was not a majority, but you remember the ugly stuff. The internet for whatever reasons lowers human discourse to a disturbing level.
It's because there's no social accountability. If you're a horribly obnoxious, rude sociopath in your face-to-face interactions with real people in everyday situations, it's not comfortable, there are social ramifications, you have to deal with real-time in person responses versus just click away or log out, people treat you poorly, etc. Online, there's no social contract or consequences, because of the anonymity. Keyboard warriors, etc.
Many of the men and even women are married. They're using online dating as hookups. There was even a special website for marrieds who wanted to cheat but hackers put an end to it.
People do this in bars, at work, etc., too. Married people looking to start a fling on the side are found online and off. It might be easier to conceal in the beginning online, but that's really the only difference. People who are gonna deceive are gonna deceive no matter the format.
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