Need some help with this situation...totally confused... (sex, call, casual)
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I agree. It's part of the process called "dating."
Yep, it's not a tit for tat situation.
Sometimes you tat, and no tit.
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He went out of his way to court this woman, cooking her dinner, taking her out, being available for her and conversing with her constantly. He did all this and opened his heart to her, because he really liked her. So he invested not only his money, but his heart into this potential relationship.
When he started having the sinking thought and realization that perhaps this 'relationship' so far wasn't what he truly wanted out of it, his pride and ego takes a bit of a sting. So to him, he feels he wasted his time, money, effort, because out of the goodness of his heart, love wasn't returned. It's not like the OP treated this as a casual fling that meant nothing to his heart or his wallet. I sense he really liked this girl so went the extra step to try to make it a serious relationship (hence, the giving of flowers).
Yes, we can all sit back and say that it is what it is, that's life and dating so suck it up, etc. etc. But at least have some understanding of where the OP is coming from and his feelings, no matter how stupid you think it is.
*** Honestly every single date has been pretty awesome. We've had a good time, made out, and generally enjoy each others company. Over the last few weeks we have only hung out 2 times.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suburban_Guy
Well, think of it from the OP's perspective.
He went out of his way to court this woman, cooking her dinner, taking her out, being available for her and conversing with her constantly. He did all this and opened his heart to her, because he really liked her. So he invested not only his money, but his heart into this potential relationship.
When he started having the sinking thought and realization that perhaps this 'relationship' so far wasn't what he truly wanted out of it, his pride and ego takes a bit of a sting. So to him, he feels he wasted his time, money, effort, because out of the goodness of his heart, love wasn't returned. It's not like the OP treated this as a casual fling that meant nothing to his heart or his wallet. I sense he really liked this girl so went the extra step to try to make it a serious relationship (hence, the giving of flowers).
Yes, we can all sit back and say that it is what it is, that's life and dating so suck it up, etc. etc. But at least have some understanding of where the OP is coming from and his feelings, no matter how stupid you think it is.
Frankly, I don't see where anyone has said anything the OP said or did was "stupid". There may be a difference of opinion as to what is deemed "a waste of time and money".
Personally, I would deem a relationship to be a waste of time and money if, every single date was torture and I couldn't wait for them to be over; I had a miserable time merely being in the woman's presence; every time we made out it reminded me the woman was a smoker and evidently eat a turd immediately before our make-out session; and we generally despised being in each other's company. I might even say that to continue THAT relationship is "stupid".
It sounds like you're doing just about everything "right."
Unfortunately, it sounds like she is not REALLY into you and may be keeping you on the hook for texting/social media affirmation. In my experience, if someone really wants you, they will make every effort to see you.
I agree as a bloke I think the OP has gone about everything in the right way
So with that in mind OP yeah it doesn't seem that she's as interested as you would like mate. Honestly I think you sound a good catch and seem to go about things the correct way with the ladies but the dinner date at home proves that she doesn't want to take things further
After 6 weeks of seeing one another I think ^^^^ is the case.
Frankly, I don't see where anyone has said anything the OP said or did was "stupid". There may be a difference of opinion as to what is deemed "a waste of time and money".
Personally, I would deem a relationship to be a waste of time and money if, every single date was torture and I couldn't wait for them to be over; I had a miserable time merely being in the woman's presence; every time we made out it reminded me the woman was a smoker and evidently eat a turd immediately before our make-out session; and we generally despised being in each other's company. I might even say that to continue THAT relationship is "stupid".
He was stupid in that he invested himself way too soon (I believe this was only their second date). And then he gets ticked off because he "wasted" his time and money. He has no one to blame but himself.
I started dating a girl about 6 weeks ago and we have been on average about 1 or 2 dates a week since we started seeing each other. I met her on an online dating site. Honestly every single date has been pretty awesome. We've had a good time, made out, and generally enjoy each others company. Over the last few weeks we have only hung out 2 times.
I think that viewing all this as a "waste of time and money" is a revealing indicator of outlook.
If you view every single interaction as a TRANSACTION, then it undoubtedly will feel like a waste if you don't get the exact outcome you want.
I just think that is a cold way to look at things that sets a person up for failure more often than not.
Thanks for all the info guys. The flowers weren't a big deal. It was the end of the date. Only a few wild flowers. Not in a vase or anything. I'm better at stuff like that than flat out telling her I really like her. That said things have kind of sucked since that night, which seemed to go over really well. She was texting me like crazy the next day. We're still texting right now. I am just tired the entire texting thing. She's leaving for NY for mothers day tomorow. I will see how things go next week when she get's back. But i am close to just cutting the cord. Some friends think she may only be interested in a FWB situation.
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