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I have an issue with falling for the wrong type of girls. Generally the type is as follows:
- Either career driven w/ no time for a relationship or very active socially w/ no time for a relationship
- Highly attractive w/ emphasis on superficial stuff like outward appearance
- Manipulative
- Very active on facebook/social media(somewhat narcissistic)
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I've been dating pretty actively for the past 4 years and it seems this is the type i keep getting either falling for, seriously dating, or getting in a relationship with. I was starting to think the problem was women, but I've realized it's me. I don't seem give the girls who don't fall into these categories a chance b/c they strike me as boring/not sexual/etc... I know that's a stupid assumption, but I'm just realizing this... Anyone else made these same mistakes and figure it out/corrected themselves?
I spent far too many years getting involved with the wrong types of guys. Therapy is very successful for those who recognize there's a problem and are willing to do the work to change. I know this from experience.
I have an issue with falling for the wrong type of girls. Generally the type is as follows:
- Either career driven w/ no time for a relationship or very active socially w/ no time for a relationship
- Highly attractive w/ emphasis on superficial stuff like outward appearance
- Manipulative
- Very active on facebook/social media(somewhat narcissistic)
----------
I've been dating pretty actively for the past 4 years and it seems this is the type i keep getting either falling for, seriously dating, or getting in a relationship with. I was starting to think the problem was women, but I've realized it's me. I don't seem give the girls who don't fall into these categories a chance b/c they strike me as boring/not sexual/etc... I know that's a stupid assumption, but I'm just realizing this... Anyone else made these same mistakes and figure it out/corrected themselves?
Honestly, you can't always help who you're attracted to either. There's a reason why you're committing to these women and not the ones that you describe as potentially boring. I'm in the same boat. There's been women in my life that would treat me like a king, but for one reason or another I just wasn't attracted to them and/or just never felt any chemistry for them.
I wouldn't be surprised if the types you deem boring are the same types that are being recommended to you to date. It's easy to recommend someone to your friend, when you're already happy in your own relationship. I don't care what anyone says, I have to be attracted to the person or it's just going to be a no go. That's something I just can't force either. I've tried it and all I do is look for faults and reasons to not date them. The reason is, because I'm just not attracted to them.
There's nothing wrong with dating a woman who's not as socially connected, but one thing still remains, are you attracted to her?
For some people (not necessarily the OP), it's a self esteem issue. Some people are only attracted to people who don't value them and/or treat them poorly because they don't truly believe that they deserve any better. I really don't like a lot of the amateur psychoanalysis that happens on this forum, but this I agree with.
Have you considered it as just a numbers game? Whatever you consider to be attractive may very well be limited in quantity. So then it is incumbent on you to decide wether to stick to your guns and continue (against tougher odds) to find the right one, or to relax your "checklist" in order to be able to cast a wider net than the one you've been using in your pursuit of a lasting relationship.
For some people (not necessarily the OP), it's a self esteem issue. Some people are only attracted to people who don't value them and/or treat them poorly because they don't truly believe that they deserve any better. I really don't like a lot of the amateur psychoanalysis that happens on this forum, but this I agree with.
There's some truth to this. Setting healthy boundaries for yourself is very important, even if setting those boundaries means you're a little lonely.
The girls you are attracted to are not serious, long-term relationship material.
You do not want a serious, long-term relationship.
So you are attracting the "right" type of girls, at least for now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdie4me
I have an issue with falling for the wrong type of girls. Generally the type is as follows:
- Either career driven w/ no time for a relationship or very active socially w/ no time for a relationship
- Highly attractive w/ emphasis on superficial stuff like outward appearance
- Manipulative
- Very active on facebook/social media(somewhat narcissistic)
----------
I've been dating pretty actively for the past 4 years and it seems this is the type i keep getting either falling for, seriously dating, or getting in a relationship with. I was starting to think the problem was women, but I've realized it's me. I don't seem give the girls who don't fall into these categories a chance b/c they strike me as boring/not sexual/etc... I know that's a stupid assumption, but I'm just realizing this... Anyone else made these same mistakes and figure it out/corrected themselves?
If youre currently single, and been in previous relationships....they all were the wrong types, Lol
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