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I have a question for all of you that are on the fence. Do you all realize that the hours presented are 8PM until 10AM? When has it changed that a person in a marriage should be ok with their spouse leaving the home at 8pm for a party and returning at 10AM the next day- with liquor involved? When has the world changed?
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Well, I go away without my husband, and I usually leave on a Wednesday and return on a Sunday, sometimes to Vegas, and yes, there is liquor involved. He is free to do the same. That is the nice thing about just having faith and trusting someone. We do trips together as well, and with our child, but I like my time with my friends having time to just have fun, with no kids or husbands. That doesn't mean I am up to something or I don't love my husband. What this wife is doing does sound a bit weird, but keeping in mine she got married really young, and probably missed out on some of this stuff. This is really why people should not be in such a rush to get married so young. What would bug me way more is she forbids the husband to do stuff, holy double standard and insanity. Why he actually listens is beyond me. I can't imagine telling my husband " you can't do this". It's not my place, I am not his mother, and he is an adult that I trust to make good decisions. Heck I give my child more freedom that it sounds like this wife gives her husband. While she does whatever she wants. Not cool.
The worst part to me is not the fact that she spends the nights at girlfriends place, but she won't allow him to go out with his friends. I personally would not be ok with this, and would walk away without blinking an eye.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by david0966
The worst part to me is not the fact that she spends the nights at girlfriends place, but she won't allow him to go out with his friends. I personally would not be ok with this, and would walk away without blinking an eye.
Yeah, that's the issue. Plus, it seems rather frequent to me, but that's not my business.
I do not see any reason why a married woman should not attend slumber parties.
However, I do believe the host should make her sign a document stating that she will not sue in the event of any injuries sustained from participating in the pillow fights.
The worst part to me is not the fact that she spends the nights at girlfriends place, but she won't allow him to go out with his friends. I personally would not be ok with this, and would walk away without blinking an eye.
Yes, this. Even the fact he used the word " allow"...correct me if I am wrong, but as one adult to another, how does the word allow even come up. It sounds like a parent child relationship and that type of thing makes me ill.
No grown up goes to a slumber party every second weekend. Maybe once every few months.
Several women, all single, all hanging out SO often, - just not happening.
She is fooling around.
And since most women are very smart in such stuff, the few times she really was at a slumber party she let you come by.... and maybe even left the party right after you left and went to her lover.
I would do a drive by next time. In the middle of the night and see if her and her friends cars are there.
Being out every second weekend but not "LETTING" you do the same is nuts. Do what feels right. You dont have to sit at home, waiting for her. I would leave at 7 pm and come home at 11 am.
I have a question for all of you that are on the fence. Do you all realize that the hours presented are 8PM until 10AM? When has it changed that a person in a marriage should be ok with their spouse leaving the home at 8pm for a party and returning at 10AM the next day- with liquor involved? When has the world changed?
Roughly twice a year, my husband has a guy's night out where 10-15 college buddies bar hop and stay the night at a hotel (no way for them to safely get home). All of them are married, and most have multiple children.
Most recently, my husband attended a whiskey tasting party hosted by a friend at a lake house (guys only). They sampled different whiskys and paired it with food. It was an overnight thing because they certainly should not be driving home after the amount of whisky that was consumed.
I also have the occasional girl's night out, and I know that many of the wives of his college buddies have their occasional girl's night out as well.
Speaking for myself and my marriage, an occasional all nighter doesn't negatively affect us. I have always encouraged my husband to be safe. If he feels he has had too much to drive and there is no alternative way to get home, I would rather him stay where he is than attempt to drive home simply to appease me.
FWIW, I do not pretend to be cool or hip.
As for the OP, two things that I think are unhealthy in this relationship:
1.) The frequency of these all nightsers.
2.) The OP's use of the phrase "Let me" and the fact he requires his wife's approval to occasional hang out with his friends - most especially, when she is already out with her friends.
I've noticed a pattern to these very well written initial posts by someone new. Creative and well written. They do lure us in though...
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