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Looks like another woman who is terrified of rejection and puts it all on the guy.
I'm afraid you are right. To the OP, when you couldn't accept the invitation to the work event you should have counteroffered. I (and most guys who aren't desperate and few good looking guys are) will only ask a woman out once. If she declines and doesn't counteroffer a smart guy will generally move on.
Just say you were sorry you couldn't meet him before but if he still wants to meet you are free on Xday. If he doesn't pick up the ball from there, he is just work flirting.
I know all the consequences about dating a coworker and I'm fully aware of them, so I don't want this to turn into a "dont date your coworker" posts. I'm old enough to know this stuff.
We are peers, in our 30s, and we both work for a large, international company. In our city alone, there are 10 different offices - we live in the same city but we work in different offices and we "met" because he needed my team's help for a small task of his project. I (well, my team) was assigned to do this work.
Now, I have never met this guy. This whole thing started about 3 months ago when he sent me an instant message, asking a follow up question from a meeting. This simple question resulted in an all-day long chat session, almost all of which was not work related. After that day, we now chat every day (him usually initiating it), all day long from the time we get in until the time we leave. None of this chatter is work-related -- if it is, it's just silly gossip.
However, he's never asked if I was single (I am) and I have never asked if he is. We did talk about kids and neither of us have them. We actually have a lot in common, in terms of hobbies, etc. We even attended the same elementary school (he is 2 years older than me).
Curious to know what he looked like, I googled him (he has an uncommon name, as do I) and found a few pictures - he's good looking. If he googled me, he would find a ton of pics out there from various volunteer events I've done. In other words, I'm attracted to him.
In one of our first chats, he did ask me if I wanted to attend a networking dinner with him (our field is heavily into this), but I couldn't as I had a vet appointment in the early evening that I couldn't reschedule. I'm worried I blew it. He never asked me to meet up with him after that.
We have no opportunities to go to lunch and get to know each other, since we don't work in the same building (our buildings are on opposite ends of the city, though we both actually live in the same suburb).
He's said that he enjoys talking with me...he even flat out said he liked me ("liked" - which could mean friend or...maybe interested in more). But our chats never were really flirty.
For the first month and a half, these chats were only during work time. Then, a few weeks ago, the conversation somehow turned kinda sexual - it was a typo that started it. We both made a few jokes and it kind of seemed to break the ice. Throughout the rest of the day that day, we had a really great conversation and out of the blue, he says, "We really should meet some day." I agreed. Then, before he left for the day, he gave me his phone number.
At this point, I'm like EEE!!!!!! I exchanged numbers with him. We've sent a few selfies (yes, please tell me how lame I am, because selfies are "lame" but, seriously it makes me all happy), and now we text outside of work. Not a ton, and we text more on the weekends than weeknights, but we are now communicating outside of work. Our conversations now have gotten a tad more flirty (but nothing crazy, trust me).
Yet we still haven't met. Even though he said that we should, and I agreed, but we never made plans.
So ---
-Is this guy interested in me? Or is he just bored at work and chatting with me to fill the void?
-And if so, why is he taking so long to ask me out? I've done my share of dating (mostly through online dating sites) and this guy is like slow as molasses. I'd have to assume this is because of work and there's, you know, HR. Is he nervous? (And no, I don't ask guys out...I'm NOT asking him out)
And I don't really view him as a coworker. Our project together will end in 4 weeks. We would never run the chance of running into each other in person. It's more like 2 people who work for the same, large, company.
If you keep googling him or try some "data mining" of images throughout various social media sites, you will most likely see photos of him with his girlfriend(s). The single guy you described most likely gets a lot of "action" so to speak. The social media these days offers many opportunities. Not to mention that pre-internet social venues are still possibilities: the gym, the park, the library, etc. And since you state you are in your "30s" be aware that the younger women are also fierce competition at this point.
It is possible the guy really likes you, but he is most likely in a wide network of possibilities that could leave you stood up. Tread carefully.
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