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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
The OP doesn't appear to.
Yes, but they might be 16 and clueless, or one of the adult children that are so common here, or incredibly sheltered for some reason. It's not a real issue in most of the world. This place attracts the fringe.
Yes, but they might be 16 and clueless, or one of the adult children that are so common here, or incredibly sheltered for some reason. It's not a real issue in most of the world. This place attracts the fringe.
He doesn't write in an overall clueless way and he uses some words that sound very non-16-ish (for example, "gracious"), but you are pretty much correct that relationship forums tend to attract the fringe.
Frankly this is far from the first time I've heard of men taking friendliness as flirting, and not just from very young or socially inexperienced men. I have also rather often heard stories of the opposite: a man NOT understanding a woman was flirting. I believe men and women interpret friendliness differently.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
He doesn't write in an overall clueless way and he uses some words that sound very non-16-ish (for example, "gracious"), but you are pretty much correct that relationship forums tend to attract the fringe.
Frankly this is far from the first time I've heard of men taking friendliness as flirting, and not just from very young or socially inexperienced men. I have also rather often heard stories of the opposite: a man NOT understanding a woman was flirting. I believe men and women interpret friendliness differently.
Oh that I get. Because two women can do the exact same thing, with one it is flirting, with another it isn't. The personality of the person, which you don't know initially, can be the difference. And settings matter.
But this isn't just friendliness. This is someone working giving a pitch.
Now I'm not sure that the girl in the OP's case is interested or not, but I go to Chipotle a lot and while the line workers/cashiers know me and will smile or say hi, they certainly don't ask me to come back later.
The line workers at Chipotle/Subway, etc around here tend to be high schoolers. I'm old enough to be their mother.
The line workers at Chipotle/Subway, etc around here tend to be high schoolers. I'm old enough to be their mother.
Some are high schoolers, but I've seen adults work there also. Regardless, my advice would be the same- come back and ask for her number, then you know for sure. No way any of us can tell from behind a computer screen.
Yes. And just to everybody, in general, but in opposite-sex situations, it's often taken as flirting.
The girl at Starbucks yesterday widened her eyes happily when she saw me come in, greeted me, asked for my name and said "Oh yes, that's right, I remember YOU!" in a giddy voice, then, "You usually come in around 9:00, I am so GLAD to see you again, don't you usually order X?" and on and on. Then when she'd finished making my drink she said "YOU have a GREAT day!"
I'm a woman. I'll bet dollars to donuts if I were a man I'd be thinking, "Was she flirting with me?" No, they get overly-friendly and try to get personal because you give them bigger tips that way, LOL. Or that's how it's supposed to go, anyway.
Those people were invested in getting a sale so they would act that way whether you looked like a supermodel or were an 80 year old grandmother. Now I'm not sure that the girl in the OP's case is interested or not, but I go to Chipotle a lot and while the line workers/cashiers know me and will smile or say hi, they certainly don't ask me to come back later.
Seriously? I get asked this practically any time I buy anything, anywhere. I am a woman, middle-aged and neither a huge spender nor a huge tipper. "Hope to see you again," "next time you should SERIOUSLY try the skinny mocha," that sort of thing is very common when a person buys something. Repeat business and/or repeat tips (whether small or large) are generally the goal there.
I worked in retail many, many moons ago. I was probably over-the-top friendly with everyone but I loved my job and was trying to encourage sales and repeat business. Anyone ever read "Question Based Selling" ? Err, back to topic! No, she's not flirting with you. Go back there and order more burritos. :-)
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