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No. I knew both my current and late husband well when we got married and didn't really expect anything to change. I mean, people change..... but all that kind of stuff was discussed before marriage.
Marriage isn't a "thing", it's two people, so no, I guess I had NO expectations of the "marriage."
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For those of you that have married, did you enter into your blissful union with unrealistic expectations? What did you learn? What would you change?
#married@21
#married11yrs
As you know I'm not married and currently it's of no interest, however with the right one it's very possible
The only reason I'd ever do it is if I genuinely thought I'd be with her for the rest of my life is that an unrealistic expectation?, now LOL I know everyone enters marriage thinking that or should but just trying to define unrealistic.
Hope you don't mind me pitching in here and asking as I know you are looking for answers from married people.
No. Because I was 28, not 21. You learn a lot in those few years after leaving school. About life. About work. About yourself.
Couples who wait a few years to get married typically have much higher success rates with marriage. First, because they've had a reality check about life. Your attitudes, philosophies, and tastes change more in those five years after graduation than they will for the rest of your life. What's more, dating in college is easy. Heck, all you have to do is scrape together enough beer and pizza money from the sofa cushions on your couch. It's considerably more challenging when you're out there earning a living and can't party every night. Plus, in truth, the life of a college student is undemanding compared to the regular full-time job.
So you become more discerning about who is a waste of your time. You become less tolerant of drama and BS. And you become more comfortable in your own skin, especially after you have a couple of accomplishments under your belt.
I think the ones who have the problems are the ones weened on romantic comedies and Disney movies. These are the people who use the terms Knight in Shining Armor, Prince Charming, and Mr. Right without a fleck of irony in their voices. Because they haven't accepted the reality that life isn't perfect, and neither are they.
As a result, you learn to not have a list of requirements the length of your arm, instead focusing on much more important things such as decency, consideration, the ability to have endless conversations, and pheromones that match up with yours. Everything beyond that is gravy.
Most people get married believing a myth that marriage is beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for; Companionship, intimacy, friendship etc ... The truth is, that marriage at the start is an empty box, you must put something in before you can take anything out. There is no love in marriage, love is in people, and people put love in marriage. There is no romance in marriage, you have to infuse it into your marriage. A couple must learn the art, and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising, of keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty.
~Unknown
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Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
[CENTER]Most people get married believing a myth that marriage is beautiful box full of all the things they have longed for; Companionship, intimacy, friendship etc ... The truth is, that marriage at the start is an empty box, you must put something in before you can take anything out. There is no love in marriage, love is in people, and people put love in marriage. There is no romance in marriage, you have to infuse it into your marriage. A couple must learn the art, and form the habit of giving, loving, serving, praising, of keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will be empty.[/CENTER]
~Unknown
This^^^^^^^
I went into it unprepared and having no idea what i was doing. Id marry him again for a 3rd time though. The first time was terrible, 2nd time is great.
For those of you that have married, did you enter into your blissful union with unrealistic expectations? What did you learn? What would you change?
#married@21
#married11yrs
I got married at 24. We had travelled together, but never lived together before getting married. 200% unrealistic expectations. I have learned to lower my expectations and that no one ever needs 1/4 of the nonsense they registered for as wedding gifts ( most of the stuff we got still has the price tags on it because I did not end up hosting large dinner parties every weekend or having 5 kids). Some times I think we might of just got married to have a big party because we had no clue what we were supposed to do after that.
No point thinking about what I would change, because I can't really change anything ! Though I could always starting using the gifts !
Guys marry thinking their wife will stay the same.
Women marry thinking they can change their husband.
Hopefully, they won't do either.
Love should be for the real person and not a false front.
Love should never try to change a person to fit our expectations but should help enhance their good qualities.
For those of you that have married, did you enter into your blissful union with unrealistic expectations? What did you learn? What would you change?
#married@21
#married11yrs
My parents provided an excellent model of what a good, healthy, loving, beneficial marriage is all about. They also didn't make it look "fun" but made it look important and worth the effort.
I wouldn't change much. I would have waiting a few years, I eloped with mine impulsively. He was a good man with good character and insane about me, I was afraid to lose him.
The only unrealistic thing - I believed I would never be tempted by another man as long as I lived and that being married for life would be totally doable and easy to stay committed to. I don't really believe in divorce, still don't, and that might get in the way if I didn't marry wisely.
My parents provided an excellent model of what a good, healthy, loving, beneficial marriage is all about. They also didn't make it look "fun" but made it look important and worth the effort.
I wouldn't change much. I would have waiting a few years, I eloped with mine impulsively. He was a good man with good character and insane about me, I was afraid to lose him.
The only unrealistic thing - I believed I would never be tempted by another man as long as I lived and that being married for life would be totally doable and easy to stay committed to. I don't really believe in divorce, still don't, and that might get in the way if I didn't marry wisely.
Tell us you are still happily married.
"They didn't make it look fun but made it look important and worth the effort."
Best quote ever! Hope they will be blessed for the effort.
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....
! Though I could always starting using the gifts 
