Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You have every right to feel as you do. As far as your GF is concerned, she needs to be much more aware of the obvious things that can easily cause a serious rift in a relationship. You knew how close she gets to people of either sex, so you cannot cite that as anything new. Your future with her over a longer span of time could be rocky ... whenever questions of trust arise, that is also when the danger ahead sign starts flashing.
Your girlfriend should not be telling another man that she loves him unless it is a family member. Get out of that terrible relationship fast, she isnt trust worthy
Tough one. She was like that before you 2 got together. So, although you don't like it, if you ask her to change, that will be something she can't do because of being with you.
That said, there is nothing wrong to tell her : you feel special when she has exclusive expressions just to express her feelings to you, and you feel like just another guy in her life when she said the same thing to other people.
This leave the door for her to come up with something just for you
If your girlfriend told you "I love you to bits," and that was her phrase basically for showing affection for you, how would you feel if you found out she also used it with another guy friend that she's really close with and has been before she met you?
I dont know how old you are, but that would have driven a younger me kinda crazy.
It would still bother me today, but one of the things I have learned over the years is that people are going to do whatever they are going to do. Changing them or waiting for them to change doesnt really work.
What that means in your situation is that your gf is going to say or do things with other guys that in your mind are signs of affection reserved only for you.
The real question is whether or not you are secure/emotionally strong enough to share her tokens of affection with other people.
I am not bashing you when I make that statement. For me, It isnt easy to share such tokens with other people, especially men my gf knows that isn me.
If I had to guess, her love language may be different that yours. Maybe she shows her love for her s/o differently than how she shows love to other people in her life.
If she uses the exact same signs of affection to you and other people (men especially), then you need to make the decision as to whether or not you want to share your gf's affection with other people.
You two may not be compatible if something like this is bothering you.
Like I said, when I was younger, something like that would have been really hard for me, and probably created trust issues.
Now, if I had to deal with a woman that did what she did, I would either consider breaking things off, knowing I may not be able to handle that (depending on how the rest of the relationship is), or have to accept that although she is using the same language towards me AND with other people, she still is loyal and in a relationship with ME.
Could be an affectation.
At any rate, it's better than "I love your bits".
I'm thinking she was probably saying it to Simon long before the OP came into the picture and she doesn't mean anything romantic by it. Love comes in many forms and quite frankly, saying it is overused by a lot of people.
She obviously doesn't understand boundaries or what's appropriate talk.
If she said that her friend is leaving the country and wants to say goodbye then it would be different. Maybe even if she Skyped him with both of you saying goodbye on the screen it would be much more acceptable.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 months and we had been really good friends a year and a half before we started dating (I developed a crush on her a month or two into meeting her.) She's the type of girl who gets close to anyone easily, even guys. So of course, she has a lot of guy friends, and I'm fine with that. She had one friend in particular that she was really close with, let's call him Simon. She used to talk about him all the time and say how he was so smart and tall and blah blah blah (this was when I had newly met her.) It would happen so often that she would randomly bring him up in conversations not pertaining to him at all. One time we were talking on Facebook about what our future apartment would look like (this was about a year and a half in, when she realized she had feelings for me too) and she randomly said how lonely I'd be when she would leave me to go to Norway to see Simon. See what I mean? Conversation has nothing to do with him but somehow he pops up. Anyway, fast forward to now. I was visiting her on my time off between classes and we were watching a show together on her laptop. Her Skype was open and sure enough, Simon's chat was open. She randomly turns to me and says, "Hey, it wouldn't upset you if I told Simon I miss him, right?" And I was just annoyed. Annoyed because I was seeing her after a week and I just really wanted to watch this show with her, but she brought him up again. So I said no and went back to our show. She left to go to the bathroom and while I was putting on another episode, her Skype popped up with a message from Simon. Out of curiosity, I read a little bit of the chat (because after all, I was wondering why she would randomly ask me that question. And we usually go on each other's phones because we have nothing to hide.) Basically, he was leaving on a trip to go to another country and she was all, "Be safe " "I miss you." "-hugs-" "I love you to bits." And that last one was the part that stung because that's what she says to me to show her love for me. I don't know how she think relationships work or how friends come into play in a relationship, but you do not tell another guy the same thing you tell your S.O.and expect me to be okay with it. And you could easily remove his face and put my face there in the chat and it would seem like she's talking to me, because those are the exact things she says to me.
Any of you guys think she should stop? Do you think I'm wrong or right to feel this way?
This situation has never ended well for me. No way I would be cool with that if I were in your position. Especially with my experience.
Wonder if she dumped the OP for "Simon", three years ago.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
" "I miss you." "-hugs-" "I love you to bits." And that last one was the part that stung because that's what she says to me to show her love for me. I don't know how she think relationships work or how friends come into play in a relationship, but you do not tell another guy the same thing you tell your S.O.and expect me to be okay with it. And you could easily remove his face and put my face there in the chat and it would seem like she's talking to me, because those are the exact things she says to me.
