Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
So I recently started dating a new girl and have so far been on two dates. She has been nice and we have had a fun time but what concerns me is what I have read on her social media fb page. She befriended me on fb before our first date and noticed a rather depressing pattern when she would post.
Most of her posts are of the depressing "I hate my life" variety. Many of her posts talk about hating her boss, calling her a f word, saying her life is awful, how she feels so sad and depressed and wants to give up on life etc etc.
Quite different than how she acts when we have been on dates. But do you think I should view this as a red flag or do you think it's not a big deal?
Social media and Facebook are the realm of narcissistic folk always looking for attention and sympathy ("look at me").
Since you're probably like most people who come here looking for 'advice,' I'd say ignore those kinds of things and worry more about doing the right things in your future time with her to keep that 'spark going.
Some people vent through writing. My wife and I are both like that. If you do so anonymously, it's really not much different than journaling or having a hidden diary. However, you need to be careful in venting like that through FB or other more public avenues. It's all too easy for the post to get back to someone and cause problems later down the road.
... Most of her posts are of the depressing "I hate my life" variety. Many of her posts talk about hating her boss, calling her a f word, saying her life is awful, how she feels so sad and depressed and wants to give up on life etc etc.
Quite different than how she acts when we have been on dates. But do you think I should view this as a red flag or do you think it's not a big deal?
It is difficult to determine the deeper reason for all the negativity ... perhaps depression is a problem in her family and that should not be glossed over too quickly. You should give greater weight to how she is when you are spending time together since you have only been out with her twice. It is premature to be judgmental and write her off at this point in your relationship.
However, I feel that a flag has been raised ... even though it may not be a classic red color now, it may be getting close to the scarlet family.
I would not be too thrilled to see that. Either she is putting on a front with you during the early dating stage, or she is composing dramatic FB posts for attention, neither of which is attractive.
When you write for an audience (which FB friends certainly are), you KNOW that your "work" will be judged. People cannot help but react to something you put out there. If she is willingly, voluntarily posting that stuff, she knows people will read and react to it
Fourteen years ago I made a vow to bypass all people who are stuck in negative. It's one thing to vent occasionally, we all need to do that. However, it is too emotionally draining for me to be around people who have a permanent rain cloud above their heads. Back away while the going is good.
I did a little facebook creeping on a gal I was chatting up.
She had lots of feminist, social justice warrior, earthy, granola crunchy organic crap with a smashing of over-saved by Jesus stuff on top.
All I got was nope. I seem to be a magnet for these types of gals.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.