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So, if you could help me think it through, that would be great. A friend is asking for my advice. I feel .....weird about a situation, but I am not sure how to explain it to him. He feels weird about it too, but not sure where the problem lies.
So my friend, the guy, he is eyeing a girl in our group. She is in her mid-30s, pretty nice. The problem? She always bring her mother to our functions. Her mom is in her 60s, doesn't have friends of her own, so she always tag a long with us. All of us are from our late 20s to late 30s.
I feel weird. I am sure a few times are okay, and we are cool about it. However, I am a bit uncomfortable when there is a person the age of my parents sitting there, joining in some childish conversation. I am fine with it when this is not a regular thing, but it is quite a regular thing. Before she brings her mom out, she said that she wants to introduce her mom gradually to us, so we'll be comfortable with her mom being there. I felt strange about it, but unsure about what. It might be that I feel manipulative, like she is training someone to feel okay to a certain stimuli. And we are not the only group she brings her mom to. She brings her mom around to her friends all the time. And her mom is involved in the childish gibberish. While it is partly okay for me, some of the comments that her mom made, made me feel .....uncomfortable, because I have not heard of it from an adult the age of my parents before.
We are thinking both positively and negatively. So the positives are: she is caring toward her mom, a dedicated and good daughter, a family oriented woman. These things are important to him. The only negative thing is , her mom is pretty much in her life, so the question is, is he okay with that? And he said he isn't sure.
So is this a good thing that this girl is so involved with her mom?
So, if you could help me think it through, that would be great. A friend is asking for my advice. I feel .....weird about a situation, but I am not sure how to explain it to him. He feels weird about it too, but not sure where the problem lies.
So my friend, the guy, he is eyeing a girl in our group. She is in her mid-30s, pretty nice. The problem? She always bring her mother to our functions. Her mom is in her 60s, doesn't have friends of her own, so she always tag a long with us. All of us are from our late 20s to late 30s.
I feel weird. I am sure a few times are okay, and we are cool about it. However, I am a bit uncomfortable when there is a person the age of my parents sitting there, joining in some childish conversation. I am fine with it when this is not a regular thing, but it is quite a regular thing. Before she brings her mom out, she said that she wants to introduce her mom gradually to us, so we'll be comfortable with her mom being there. I felt strange about it, but unsure about what. It might be that I feel manipulative, like she is training someone to feel okay to a certain stimuli. And we are not the only group she brings her mom to. She brings her mom around to her friends all the time. And her mom is involved in the childish gibberish. While it is partly okay for me, some of the comments that her mom made, made me feel .....uncomfortable, because I have not heard of it from an adult the age of my parents before.
We are thinking both positively and negatively. So the positives are: she is caring toward her mom, a dedicated and good daughter, a family oriented woman. These things are important to him. The only negative thing is , her mom is pretty much in her life, so the question is, is he okay with that? And he said he isn't sure.
So is this a good thing that this girl is so involved with her mom?
I understand your point. It is totally weird to bring your mom and her not behaving age appropriate. But there is nothing you can do if the rest of the GROUP is okay with it.
I understand your point. It is totally weird to bring your mom and her not behaving age appropriate. But there is nothing you can do if the rest of the GROUP is okay with it.
No,.......my friend is asking me whether he should be concerned of this, because he wants to ask her out. But he is still in the .......I am not sure part.......because of this. I am not asking about what to do about this, since I am sure I can voice my opinion to them on my own if this gets too much for me.
So, if you could help me think it through, that would be great. A friend is asking for my advice. I feel .....weird about a situation, but I am not sure how to explain it to him. He feels weird about it too, but not sure where the problem lies.
So my friend, the guy, he is eyeing a girl in our group. She is in her mid-30s, pretty nice. The problem? She always bring her mother to our functions. Her mom is in her 60s, doesn't have friends of her own, so she always tag a long with us. All of us are from our late 20s to late 30s.
I feel weird. I am sure a few times are okay, and we are cool about it. However, I am a bit uncomfortable when there is a person the age of my parents sitting there, joining in some childish conversation. I am fine with it when this is not a regular thing, but it is quite a regular thing. Before she brings her mom out, she said that she wants to introduce her mom gradually to us, so we'll be comfortable with her mom being there. I felt strange about it, but unsure about what. It might be that I feel manipulative, like she is training someone to feel okay to a certain stimuli. And we are not the only group she brings her mom to. She brings her mom around to her friends all the time. And her mom is involved in the childish gibberish. While it is partly okay for me, some of the comments that her mom made, made me feel .....uncomfortable, because I have not heard of it from an adult the age of my parents before.
We are thinking both positively and negatively. So the positives are: she is caring toward her mom, a dedicated and good daughter, a family oriented woman. These things are important to him. The only negative thing is , her mom is pretty much in her life, so the question is, is he okay with that? And he said he isn't sure.
So is this a good thing that this girl is so involved with her mom?
Well, how can we decide if he is okay with it? He either is or isn't
He already knows she spends a lot of time with her mom and they get along great, she probably tells her EVERYTHING ... so it is up to him if he can accept this or not. It is a personal choice he has to make for himself.
The guiding principle with this is that a mother in her 60s should be more involved with other women in her general age bracket. It is wonderful when a mother and daughter are as close as they are, but this arrangement will not hold up well over time. As far as the man is concerned, he has a good idea as to how much he will go along with her steady presence during their various get togethers. The daughter needs to set some firm new boundaries for her mother and explain the need for privacy and independence.
Imagine the horror one evening when the gang is hanging out and Momma looks at her daughter and her BF and speaks the words that everyone will dread for the remainder of their lives: "So, have the two of you been intimate yet? Tell me all about it."
I am struggling to figure out what topics a 30-something woman couldn't share with a 60- something woman. I mean the woman grew up in the 60s and 70s, right? Not exactly the 1930s.
I say this from the perspective of someone who has a large group of people I hang with, ranging in age from 30 to over 60. We go on trips, go to bars, see live music, etc. The only thing we all have in common is that we live in the same smallish town and came together through various permutations of mutual friends.
The age difference just doesn't seem to mean that much to Boomers and Gen Xers. You may be overthinking it.
Don't dare me to ride the little horse before we leave the store...cause I will!
I wore a Captain America shirt at the new civil war movie.
So what!! If you are not comfortable around granny then tell her not to come.
As for the dude asking her out.... I think she still has her cord attached. Who wants that?
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