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I want to find a partner who society considers physically attractive. I happen to find those things physically attractive me. I don't feel anything wrong with it, I feel very strongly about my point of view. Nobody is going to convince me otherwise.
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I was born with a neurological disability that screwed up my balance, coordination, speech etc. to a certain point. I'm tired of being expected to stick with dating less attractive people with disabilities. I don't like being with other disabilities. I'm sick of being told that I should not date a partner who happens to be physically attractive. People also think that there is no such thing as looks/personality combined. I don't care. She may have the best personality in the world, but it means nothing when there is no physical attraction. Arghh...
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So, how can I improve myself at 24 so I'm not stuck with associating with disability forever, if that's even a possibility? I know that the only things that attractive women want that a guy can offer is a car and a job, hobbies, etc. I have none of these. How can I get them and how can I rid of the stigma that is "disability" if it is a part of my brain function? I'm so mad and agitated, I don't feel comfortable in my masculinity. Even if I was born a woman, I'd probably suck at being womanly too.
So, how can I improve myself at 24 so I'm not stuck with associating with disability forever, if that's even a possibility? I know that the only things that attractive women want that a guy can offer is a car and a job, hobbies, etc. I have none of these. How can I get them and how can I rid of the stigma that is "disability" if it is a part of my brain function? I'm so mad and agitated, I don't feel comfortable in my masculinity. Even if I was born a woman, I'd probably suck at being womanly too.
What do you have to offer a prospective partner?
You say you have no hobbies or job. If you don't, yes, the cards are stacked against you. People generally want to be with people that they find interesting.
It's all well and good that you want an attractive partner. It's certainly not out of the realm of possibility if you have something about you that is attractive. Or, I suppose, you could find someone who would be with you out of pity- but I don't think that's what you want.
Wouldn't you rather be happy with someone who values you and likes you/accepts you for who you are? Regardless of what society thinks, at the end of the day, it is your life. Are you going to live it for them, or for you.
If I were in your shoes, I would just be happy to have a companion that loved me. Screw what society thinks, it's your life to live, not theirs. With your self admittance that the deck seemingly stacked against you, shallowness is something you can control yourself.
Yes, I am still passionate about finding a job as a web design/developer. And if you read the first parts of my post, you would have known that I have a mild version of a certain physical disability that universally affects my speech, movement etc. I would really die for the opportunity to be in one of my peer's shoes. As I told you, I'm very adamant about my feelings.
You would be surprise how reasonable some attractive people are- If you think you can never be with someone attractive then it will not happen. Take a chance...you should be with someone you enjoy looking at....I spend most of my life settling with who ever would have me. I never thought I could be with a beautiful classy woman...well now I am...finally in my old age. Do not wait as long as I did.
Yes, I am still passionate about finding a job as a web design/developer. And if you read the first parts of my post, you would have known that I have a mild version of a certain physical disability that universally affects my speech, movement etc. I would really die for the opportunity to be in one of my peer's shoes. As I told you, I'm very adamant about my feelings.
Ok, so you have a disability, and want to compete with non-disabled people for the same women. Make yourself stand out-- job, hobbies, SOMETHING INTERESTING. Unless, of course, you want someone to be with you out of pity.
First you have to love yourself. You need to work on that!
Then you have to have something to offer to others. With no job and no hobbies, that will be hard. What DO you do all day?
If you have "weak" areas then you have to compensate for them with other desirable traits. And MORE than compensate for them if you want anything "out of the ordinary".
Sad to say, but everyone has a market value - the good thing is that market value is in the eye of the beholder. Some people may really value the exact things you have to offer and not care about your weak points....or vice versa. The more you look, the more likely you'll be to find someone that works for you and you'll work for them (that's the OTHER side of the equation that has to be considered).
Hopefully you can get a good job, support yourself, pursue hobbies, and everything else you want if you put forth the effort and time. But remember, even people without disabilities never get everything they want even if they are "adamant about their feelings". As far as partners go, most people end up with someone who is approximately as attractive or unattractive as they are. Good Luck with your life. I hope the best for you.
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