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dating and living together for 2 years? Did you move in super quickly or something? That in itself sounds a bit strange. You don't mention how old you two are, and that definitely can play a role in this.
We dated for 7 months before we moved in. Yes, it's fast I understand. I am 20 now and he is 29. I understand there's an age difference...
There are reasons for you to be concerned. Today you are very much a part of his present world, but you may not play a prominent role in his future. Clarification is needed from him so that you can focus in on yourself and plan accordingly. Opportunity does not knock every day.
You mention an age difference but don't say what it is? You mention you're graduating in one year, does that mean you're about 21? Is he younger? If so, I think it's normal for him to not be planning marriage, kids, etc yet. You're not even out of college, and if he is even younger than you, I think it's perfectly normal that he doesn't have definite plans for the future yet.
No, our age difference is 9 years. I'm 20, he is 29. At his age, I don't think it's normal for him to not even want those things or have defined goals for the future.
He's probably in a holding pattern since he has you locked down filling in the domestic role, more or less. Not interested in dating others (since he's almost 30) but also not interested in moving FORWARD with you.
There are reasons for you to be concerned. Today you are very much a part of his present world, but you may not play a prominent role in his future. Clarification is needed from him so that you can focus in on yourself and plan accordingly. Opportunity does not knock every day.
That is exactly it! I could not have said it better myself. I do think I am part of his present world and he enjoys my company. He claims that since he is living with me that proves he's serious about me, but I don't think that's exactly true. He gets a lot of benefits living with me and no commitment.
I hate that when people ask me "Oh, what are you going to do after you graduate? Are you going to move?" I answer "Depends on my boyfriend" It makes me feel like a fool, a stupid naive girl.
I hate that when people ask me "Oh, what are you going to do after you graduate? Are you going to move?" I answer "Depends on my boyfriend" It makes me feel like a fool, a stupid naive girl.
Because it's a stupid answer, to voluntarily allow someone to limit you like that.
He is getting benefits with no real commitment. It would be unwise for you to continue this setup.
He's probably in a holding pattern since he has you locked down filling in the domestic role, more or less. Not interested in dating others but also not interested in moving FORWARD with you.
I would be concerned.
Also, he is WAY too old for you.
^^^This.
Just finishing school and already tied down in a relationship with a guy who is idling. Don't sacrifice your youth for the sake of being in a relationship that doesn't fulfill you, inspire you and make you want great things out of life.
Who you are right now is not who you will be in 5 years. You're legally an adult, but brain development is generally complete around age 25 and you will (hopefully) experience a lot more growth in the next few years. I suspect you are already starting to outgrow him, from when you starting dating at 18.
He's probably in a holding pattern since he has you locked down filling in the domestic role, more or less. Not interested in dating others (since he's almost 30) but also not interested in moving FORWARD with you.
I would be concerned.
Also, he is WAY too old for you.
I don't think he's way too old for me. But yes, age differences can be a huge issue, I understand that. I do fill the domestic role, and maybe he know feels he doesn't have to make much effort and can keep me even without the commitment.
I'm so sorry to say this, but he doesn't want a future with you. Oh, he'll happily keep dating you as long as you are willing to stick around. And I'm not saying he doesn't care about you. But if he knew he wanted a future with you, at 29, he should be ready to make that happen and he's not. You've already picked up on this given the way he phrases things all about "me, I, my" and not "us, ours, we" but I know it's hard to accept.
I'd start planning a future without him. I'm sorry.
He sounds very immature, thats why he is with such a much younger person. And it seems like you are growing up while he is not.
I agree with Liberty - you will eventually outgrow him because you already get tired of it while he is still in lala land, living day to day.
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