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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Reputation: 40635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MogwaiLover217
Yup, like most people in general, who feel it is the masculine, man's role to be the initiator and pursuer, damn you society, and damn you and your bizarre social norms
They aren't really bizarre. It's the way the world works, I exist in the world, so that's what I do. It actually can be kind of fun at times when you get in the right head space.
I also don't have recruiters calling me and offering me jobs, yet I keep managing to keep working.
Yup, like most people in general, who feel it is the masculine, man's role to be the initiator and pursuer, damn you society, and damn you and your bizarre social norms
Is this a problem for you in other aspects besides dating? Like, do you have a hard time ordering a pizza? Making a doctor's appointment? Or are those things safely done online with no human interaction?
They aren't really bizarre. It's the way the world works, I exist in the world, so that's what I do. It actually can be kind of fun at times when you get in the right head space.
Why are they fun? Why should a guy not detest having to be the approacher, initiator?
Is this a problem for you in other aspects besides dating? Like, do you have a hard time ordering a pizza? Making a doctor's appointment? Or are those things safely done online with no human interaction?
No those are entirely different matters, same with applying for a job, job interviews, etc.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by MogwaiLover217
Why are they fun? Why should a guy not detest having to be the approacher, initiator?
You can detest whatever you want to detest. And I'm not always the initiator, the last couple of women I dated initiated with me, but that didn't happen until I was in my late 30s or 40s. When you're a kid it is different, especially with someone like me that wasn't good looking, not so great skin, a bit flabby...
But yeah, it is fun, meeting someone, being attracted to them, courting them, having them reciprocate sometimes (hardly all the time, it was often infrequent in my teens and 20s) and then the sexy times.
So go ahead and detest it. Even when I detested it I did it anyway, because it was the only way to get what I wanted. I have to live life on life's terms, the world isn't changing for me. Whining about the world certainly didn't change anything, and it just got me further from what I wanted.
They aren't really bizarre. It's the way the world works, I exist in the world, so that's what I do. It actually can be kind of fun at times when you get in the right head space.
I also don't have recruiters calling me and offering me jobs, yet I keep managing to keep working.
This is not same thing as dating. No person has ever become destitute from not having an intimate relationship.
Some men do not enjoy having the role of initiator. It is not natural to them.
And some people do not want to bed in relationships. Maybe people should just accept that they are different instead of calling them defective.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ro2113
This is not same thing as dating. No person has ever become destitute from not having an intimate relationship.
Some men do not enjoy having the role of initiator. It is not natural to them.
And some people do not want to bed in relationships. Maybe people should just accept that they are different instead of calling them defective.
I would be destitute of intimacy, which is critical for healthy living.
I never said anything about being in a bad relationship.
I also never called anyone defective.
I also did not enjoy it for most of my life. I don't enjoy lots of things I need to do to get what I want. I've learned to enjoy it, most of the time, because it results in success, a respectable chunk of the time.
Some men do not enjoy having the role of initiator. It is not natural to them.
And that's fine, except that it doesn't really fly for wanting a romantic relationship. Somebody has to make the first move, whether that be asking someone out for the first time, or suggesting a date later on, or pulling the trigger for dinner, or letting an SO know that sexytimes are on the table. It's a constant give and take between partners. Mogwailover can detest doing this until the end of time, but it really doesn't make him good relationship material.
Last edited by fleetiebelle; 05-24-2016 at 11:58 AM..
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