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So cheaters only meet at bars? not coffee shops or restaurants...
I think the location and the activity is irrelevant. I think the response to the OP's thread is subject to one's own personal experiences (which apparently is pretty bad here... ). I think there some of us that have relationships that are not subject to suspicion. Cheaters will cheat... The OP was commenting on their own feelings regarding the situation and the BF hasn't given any reason for suspicion.
I like the one of the final last responses from the OP. It is a waste of time and energy worrying about it. Certainly don't be blind the situation but certainly give the BF the benefit of doubt.
I find it amusing that so many people think that everyone thinks, feels and acts just like they do. Regardless of how many people explain to them in unmistakable terms that they are perfectly capable of maintaining interpersonal relationships with opposite sex individuals that do not involve even the most remote possibility of sexual attraction, they continue to insist that the OP must dump her boyfriend because he won't be able to keep his dick in his pants.
It is unfortunate that these folks are incapable of seeing the possibility that not everyone operates on those same base morals and motivators - that there are those among us that can share a drink with someone without even the most remote urge to tear each others' clothes off. What a sad little life to live, thinking so myopically.
I find it amusing that so many people think that everyone thinks, feels and acts just like they do. Regardless of how many people explain to them in unmistakable terms that they are perfectly capable of maintaining interpersonal relationships with opposite sex individuals that do not involve even the most remote possibility of sexual attraction, they continue to insist that the OP must dump her boyfriend because he won't be able to keep his dick in his pants.
It is unfortunate that these folks are incapable of seeing the possibility that not everyone operates on those same base morals and motivators - that there are those among us that can share a drink with someone without even the most remote urge to tear each others' clothes off. What a sad little life to live, thinking so myopically.
Your boyfriend is going to say whatever he needs to say so that he can hang out with this woman.
If this "friend" is such a big part of his life, how come he's never introduced you to her prior to this?
Why didn't he give you a heads up BEFORE he went out with this woman so he could gauge your reaction and see if it would bother you?
I'll tell you why. He wanted to go out with her. He knew if he told you it could be a problem. He knew you'd be easier to handle if he did what he wanted (without regard for your feelings) and then dealt with you later. I mean, the Facetime angle was cute. Because you seeing her with your boyfriend makes it better??!!
Oh, and he senses that you could be upset so NOW he gives her a boyfriend. Oh, honey.
At the very least, he's being insensitive to you.
It's not about telling a boyfriend about what he can and can't do. It's about standing up for yourself and respectfully teaching others how to treat you. It's about having the self-confidence. I mean, come on. He's certainly okay telling you what he's going to do----after the fact.
I find it troubling that you're denying your initial feelings and rationalizing his behavior.
BTW, I'm not saying you should confront the guy out of anger. But you should definitely clarify and set boundaries for this relationship. You can do this respectfully and keeping your focus on getting information about him and his beliefs.
I totally agree with this post. While I do believe people can have completely innocent and platonic friendships with the opposite sex, the whole circumstances outlined above just spells out something different. I think the OP has to sit down with her boyfriend and really define the boundaries of their relationship and what each one is comfortable with. I think if the OP had actually met the "friend" in question, it might be better, but it seems like boyfriend would rather keep her a mystery, and would raise big questions with me.
I find it amusing that so many people think that everyone thinks, feels and acts just like they do. Regardless of how many people explain to them in unmistakable terms that they are perfectly capable of maintaining interpersonal relationships with opposite sex individuals that do not involve even the most remote possibility of sexual attraction, they continue to insist that the OP must dump her boyfriend because he won't be able to keep his dick in his pants.
It is unfortunate that these folks are incapable of seeing the possibility that not everyone operates on those same base morals and motivators - that there are those among us that can share a drink with someone without even the most remote urge to tear each others' clothes off. What a sad little life to live, thinking so myopically.
I agree great point and post
I've got a few lady friends and just friends and often go out with them for a meal or a drink and have absolutely no other intentions towards them except friendship
I can understand from the outside it may appear to be a date but it's very short sighted and insecure to actually believe it is
Oh...so you make it a habit of marrying people you have not already built trust and honesty with? Guess I inferred a bit much about SMART people getting married. Only stupid people marry people they haven't built trust with.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrt1979
Any woman that doesn't think this way is typically in a relationship with a man that ****s other women.
If a woman is too effing retarded to see nothing wrong with the OP's situation, then she deserves to be cheated on. ALL people will cheat in the right situation.
Whatever you believe must be true, to you which does not affect the real life of anyone else.
Bless you both, really, I mean it......
PS ~~ Couples to not have to be married to build trust.
He's not hiding the other girl from her, the friend came home to visit over school break.
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). I think there some of us that have relationships that are not subject to suspicion. Cheaters will cheat... The OP was commenting on their own feelings regarding the situation and the BF hasn't given any reason for suspicion.
