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Over the last couple weeks, my lady has become depressed and down. She's been through a lot over the last couple years, and last December she lost her job , due to medical problems, on top of a whole pile of serious things. I've been right there with her, through it all, and have affirmed over and over that I will continue to stand and fight for her. As long as I'm breathing, she will never be alone.
These medical issues are the magic straw on the proverbial camels back. The incidents that happened, leading up to this, exacerbated them, and we've been told there's no fixing them. Some news we got from the doctors last week was rather grim, and was a bit of a blow. She hasn't said anything, and I haven't pressed, but I can see a change in her. Everything that's happened is weakening her. She's feeling beaten and over run. Its time for me to get her talking. That I'm here for her, and that giving up is not an option is not in question.
But, she's just lost in the woods at the moment, and my resolve, alone, isn't enough to pull things together. She's also worried about me, because I've got some medical issues as well. Yea, we're quite a pair, at the moment. Still, I can hold things together, financially, keep us above water, and she has a short term disability benefit that helps, while we work on her SSDI. Its not finances that concern me so much as what I can do to help her get her strength back. I know she's worried that I won't be able to keep on taking these hits, and there's nothing I can do to stop those worries, except to stick tight, and show her I'm not going anywhere.
I've had a couple "friends" tell me I should abandon ship, think about myself and cut my losses. That's just NOT going to happen. Yes, its been an impossible seeming pile of s*** that's come down the pipe. Like a plague, it's been. But its all just made me love her more. I can't fix it, can't do anything to make it any easier or make it all go away. I do need to get her talking to me though. Find out what SHE wants, where she sees us going from here. All the counseling, all the therapy, all the wise words and coping tactics we've sat through, it all means squat at the moment. All the seperate incidents, two in particular that were seriously traumatic, culminating in this medical mess is a complicated knot to unravel.
I really need to get the communication lines opened up. She's putting on her brave face, but I can tell she's coming apart inside. Right now, she's all that matters in the World to me. I guess the reason I'm putting all this out there is I'm just trying to think it through, before I ring the bell. I've never had feelings like this for anyone before, things have never been this deep and complicated, nor have I ever had more on the line. Not asking for advice, really, just bouncing things off the wall. She's everything to me. Nothing matters more. I'm not going to let things ride any longer. If nothing else, the demons need drug out and beaten to death.
I'd like to think I know her well enough to figure out an approach, that she trusts me and will open up and that she knows I've got her, our, best interests at heart. No "fixes". Not bringing my tool bag to this job. Just an open mind and an open heart. Time to reach out and let her know I haven't and I'm not going anywhere. Never in my life did I expect such a sh** storm. That something so good could be assaulted by so much bad. It HAS to be a good thing, or all this evil wouldn't be trying so hard to tear it down. I'll take wishes for luck. A little luck can't hurt at this point. Sorry to have run on so, just needed a place to put things out and help me think. Get my head and my heart tied together. Sappy as it may sound...its all in the name of love. Love for loves sake. This is my last battlefield, and she's the last cause to fight for.
I won't let anything tear us apart. I just know, in my heart, she's worth fighting for, and its the right thing to do. Carry on regardless....My thanks to everyone here who's listened to me over time. I've made some damn decent friends on here, you know who you are, and you've been a blessing. .
Mate as we've talked about before I know she's really been through it and honestly my heart goes out to you both, but again as I told you before you're her rock and many blokes would break seeing this happen to their good lady but not you
Honestly she couldn't have a better bloke by her side than you and I really admire and envy your strength mate
All of this BS about being a "real man" is always sorta being thrown around this forum. Guys like the OP is what I call a "real man" case closed on that issue.
OP, I hope things work out and kudos to you for being a stand up guy.
All of this BS about being a "real man" is always sorta being thrown around this forum. Guys like the OP is what I call a "real man" case closed on that issue.
OP, I hope things work out and kudos to you for being a stand up guy.
Without a shadow of a doubt mate he's the very definition of a real man
Wow...thanks guys. I /we thank you. Its been tough times, and its time to get tough back. Come to realize that the hardest fights and the worst beatings don't come from fist fights. The hardest opponent we have to face is Life, ya know. Seems like it always wins up till the last round, then you better pull out that Cinderella knock out punch. Seems like its the little stuff that gets you there too. Chasing away the nightmares and killing the spiders, literally and figuratively. She's petrified of spiders...lol, . I feel like the White Knight, slaying the dragon and saving the princess when there's a spider in the house. God but I Love her!!
Over the last couple weeks, my lady has become depressed and down. She's been through a lot over the last couple years, and last December she lost her job , due to medical problems, on top of a whole pile of serious things. I've been right there with her, through it all, and have affirmed over and over that I will continue to stand and fight for her. As long as I'm breathing, she will never be alone.
These medical issues are the magic straw on the proverbial camels back. The incidents that happened, leading up to this, exacerbated them, and we've been told there's no fixing them. Some news we got from the doctors last week was rather grim, and was a bit of a blow. She hasn't said anything, and I haven't pressed, but I can see a change in her. Everything that's happened is weakening her. She's feeling beaten and over run. Its time for me to get her talking. That I'm here for her, and that giving up is not an option is not in question.
But, she's just lost in the woods at the moment, and my resolve, alone, isn't enough to pull things together. She's also worried about me, because I've got some medical issues as well. Yea, we're quite a pair, at the moment. Still, I can hold things together, financially, keep us above water, and she has a short term disability benefit that helps, while we work on her SSDI. Its not finances that concern me so much as what I can do to help her get her strength back. I know she's worried that I won't be able to keep on taking these hits, and there's nothing I can do to stop those worries, except to stick tight, and show her I'm not going anywhere.
I've had a couple "friends" tell me I should abandon ship, think about myself and cut my losses. That's just NOT going to happen. Yes, its been an impossible seeming pile of s*** that's come down the pipe. Like a plague, it's been. But its all just made me love her more. I can't fix it, can't do anything to make it any easier or make it all go away. I do need to get her talking to me though. Find out what SHE wants, where she sees us going from here. All the counseling, all the therapy, all the wise words and coping tactics we've sat through, it all means squat at the moment. All the seperate incidents, two in particular that were seriously traumatic, culminating in this medical mess is a complicated knot to unravel.
I really need to get the communication lines opened up. She's putting on her brave face, but I can tell she's coming apart inside. Right now, she's all that matters in the World to me. I guess the reason I'm putting all this out there is I'm just trying to think it through, before I ring the bell. I've never had feelings like this for anyone before, things have never been this deep and complicated, nor have I ever had more on the line. Not asking for advice, really, just bouncing things off the wall. She's everything to me. Nothing matters more. I'm not going to let things ride any longer. If nothing else, the demons need drug out and beaten to death.
I'd like to think I know her well enough to figure out an approach, that she trusts me and will open up and that she knows I've got her, our, best interests at heart. No "fixes". Not bringing my tool bag to this job. Just an open mind and an open heart. Time to reach out and let her know I haven't and I'm not going anywhere. Never in my life did I expect such a sh** storm. That something so good could be assaulted by so much bad. It HAS to be a good thing, or all this evil wouldn't be trying so hard to tear it down. I'll take wishes for luck. A little luck can't hurt at this point. Sorry to have run on so, just needed a place to put things out and help me think. Get my head and my heart tied together. Sappy as it may sound...its all in the name of love. Love for loves sake. This is my last battlefield, and she's the last cause to fight for.
I won't let anything tear us apart. I just know, in my heart, she's worth fighting for, and its the right thing to do. Carry on regardless....My thanks to everyone here who's listened to me over time. I've made some damn decent friends on here, you know who you are, and you've been a blessing. .
Just keep reminding yourself "For Better or For Worse" and you will come to realize..unfortunately your better half is loosing some aspect of connections...Without diagnosis?? who knows??..it seems you may get some answers with testing..Having no idea of your age..much less you beloved wife > Just maybe these tests can help you understand just what's going on..Rule out Alzheimers ..because as times goes on..without assistance..it not only won't get better..but ignorance about it will make you upset and angry...IF it is..ALL will be made clear..It's not YOU..But unfortunately...your beloved is afflicted ..REMEMBER..For Better or for Worse..because as you described..Your Walk thru life has been Good..So disregard those who suggest Bailing on her when she needs you more than ever before ..Best of luck and Prayers for Strength
Quote:
Originally Posted by metamorphosis
NVPlumber:
I'm sorry that you have this challenge before you. I know exactly how you feel. Know that you aren't alone. She is a lucky lady.
Stay strong. Both of you are in my thoughts.
^^^^ Agree 100%..What you need is to seek others who understand what is going on..A good Primary physician can refer you easily!! Only those who have walked your path or dealt with it understand it..and YEP..IF you want to be of any positive help..Seek HELP!! Bless you and Pray for any and ALL strength that you may need..Listening to negative types is not only unhelpful..BUT is actually hurtful..SO please disregard...The road ahead is unknown NOW..But your "Love" will get you thru it..Bless you and yours
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