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Switch her car payment back to her RIGHT NOW. She will pay that bill or not have a car.
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Geez, people on this forum are unforgiving. Somehow I find it hard to believe that everyone here is such an excellent money manager when the average credit score is 687 (actually 30 points or so better than I would have guessed).
I think most relationships have one partner that is better with money than the other. So run with the idea to have her give you money and you pay the bills. Everyone wins. No point in letting this mess up an otherwise fine relationship (assuming it IS otherwise fine).
In my former marriage we each had an individual checking account and then there was a joint account. We each deposited X dollars into the joint account to cover the bills and whatever was left from our paychecks was ours to spend in our individual accounts. I controlled the joint account and paid the bills. The amount we each contributed was based on how much we each made, not an even split. No big deal, no fights.
True. I do not believe in rewarding irresponsibility and people who break agreements.
I consider this financial infidelity, and if she were to continue this type of behavior while married it could severely impact their quality of life.
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My girlfriend and I are both 25, we have been dating a year and a half and lived together for 7 months now. The way we worked it out was I will pay her and my car as well as we go half on apartment rent while she pays the Internet, electric, water, her insurance and her credit card . The thing is 3 times now she has told me even months after the fact that cert bills haven't been paid. The last time it happened was this week.
I have told her if she needs help with bills to let me know and when I ask her why she didn't tell me she doesn't tell me why. Our electric has been turned off twice now. We make roughly the same but she will just casually bring up some of the bills are overdue.
you had to mention she pays her own credit card? Shouldn't that be a given??
She doesn't seem to care. You will not change her in that.
Either dump her or you pay all the bills and collect the money from her in cash the moment you get the bill.
Switch her car payment back to her RIGHT NOW. She will pay that bill or not have a car.
Yes, she should pay her own car payment & her own credit card (obviously) and half the rent & half the utilities. I suggest that you have her write you a check (cash it immediately) or give you cash for her share on her pay day & you pay the bills. That way you know that the lights won't be shut off again.
BTW, if it was me I would drop her unless she has a lot of other things going for her.
If she is this bad with money when you are dating and she is on her best behavior just imagine the chaos if you get married or have children and she stops trying extra hard to be responsible.
True. I do not believe in rewarding irresponsibility and people who break agreements.
I consider this financial infidelity, and if she were to continue this type of behavior while married it could severely impact their quality of life.
Seriously. Paying bills and paying them on time is Adulting 101. You can be as irresponsible as you want, as long as you're the only one being effected.
True. I do not believe in rewarding irresponsibility and people who break agreements.
I consider this financial infidelity, and if she were to continue this type of behavior while married it could severely impact their quality of life.
Fair enough. But we've all got our own strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes the best relationships are when our strengths and weaknesses complement the others and we can work together to do better than either can on their own. So if the OP is good with money and the girlfriend isn't, why shouldn't they work to his strengths in this area? Let her carry something that works to her strengths.
I don't understand the idea that a relationship is only about hanging out together and each person should be a completely independent and capable entity to themselves.
My girlfriend and I are both 25, we have been dating a year and a half and lived together for 7 months now. The way we worked it out was I will pay her and my car as well as we go half on apartment rent while she pays the Internet, electric, water, her insurance and her credit card . The thing is 3 times now she has told me even months after the fact that cert bills haven't been paid. The last time it happened was this week.
I have told her if she needs help with bills to let me know and when I ask her why she didn't tell me she doesn't tell me why. Our electric has been turned off twice now. We make roughly the same but she will just casually bring up some of the bills are overdue.
A good guess:
She doesn't tell you when she comes up short for a particular month because she doesn't want you to question what she did with her income for that month, because she's blowing it on shopping and hiding the evidence, or on expensive lunches, or whatever. It's easier for her to present it to you as an "oops" months after the fact.
Take a look at her credit card bill to see what's going on. You may have partnered with a spendy person, while you're a fiscally disciplined person. Those types of partnerships tend to not work out. Just a heads-up, for what you may be in for.
Seriously. Paying bills and paying them on time is Adulting 101. You can be as irresponsible as you want, as long as you're the only one being effected.
This is sooooo true
I can be irresponsible with money and can spend a weeks wages on the weekend or even a Friday night.... I can as I'm single and have no responsibilities at all
However when in a relationship or dating I'm all " ship shape " and on the ball and at least 75% would go to the household or us
Fair enough. But we've all got our own strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes the best relationships are when our strengths and weaknesses complement the others and we can work together to do better than either can on their own. So if the OP is good with money and the girlfriend isn't, why shouldn't they work to his strengths in this area? Let her carry something that works to her strengths.
I don't understand the idea that a relationship is only about hanging out together and each person should be a completely independent and capable entity to themselves.
This is a weak argument. "I'm really weak at paying my bills on time, so you should pay them for me" would be an excuse everyone would use if it would work, trust me! It's one thing if you have a combined bank account and it is just one person or the other actually making or setting up the payments, but if the couple has separate accounts, then paying bills needs to be a shared responsibility. If one person isn't holding up her end of the bargain, the relationship needs to end. If she wants to continue to be irresponsible with her bills, she can continue to live on her own and sit in her dark house with no water, no cell phone, and no car because they've all been turned off/taken away because she's forgotten to pay the bills.
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