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View Poll Results: What would you do if you found out you where dating a girl with an eating disorder?
Would you try and help her get help to deal with the condition, which might likely cause her to gain weight? 3 25.00%
Would you dumb her as you don't need the to deal with the drama? 9 75.00%
Would you turn a blind eye to the problem because it helps he look good? 0 0%
Voters: 12. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 05-31-2016, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Toronto
6,750 posts, read 5,696,910 times
Reputation: 4619

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I got a question for men out there. What would you do if you found out you where dating a girl with an eating disorder?

1. Would you try and help her get help to deal with the condition, which might likely cause her to gain weight?

2. Would you dump her as you don't need the to deal with the drama?

3. Would you turn a blind eye to the problem because it helps he look good?

I know a lot of women that have had serious eating disorders since being pre-teens to the point that actually ended up in hospital and based on my profession can tell they still have eating disorder ex anorexia and bulimia and just really wonder how they are in relationships with men who either don't notice or don't care? I don't get how you can spend that much time with someone and not notice that they never eat or run to the bathroom shortly after they eat? Please note the intent of this post is not about weight shaming in either direction so no need to go there.
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Old 06-02-2016, 12:12 AM
 
Location: PRC
6,917 posts, read 6,832,021 times
Reputation: 6517
As I understand it, and I know very little about this stuff, I believe it has something to do with body image and self confidence issues so as such is not an eating disorder although it is called that.

I would think that many people would be sympathetic towards this kind of illness but it would probably depend on how severe it was and whether the person was in treatment for it and progressing well. There is probably an early stage in treatment where it would be damaging if the patient was in a relationship, although I know nothing about this, so I might well be wrong.
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Old 06-02-2016, 12:50 AM
 
35,095 posts, read 51,103,864 times
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Date who you want just understand and accept the fact that those who do not want help will not get help and there is nothing you can do about it.
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Old 06-02-2016, 01:15 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,288,409 times
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I highly doubt, I could date a woman that regurgitates her food or rarely eats. Dating should be the last thing on her mind; she needs to get some professional help.

Fortunately, I live in America, where most women love to eat, and enjoy keeping the food down.
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Old 06-02-2016, 01:19 AM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,290 posts, read 3,998,992 times
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I am not a man but once my brother dated a girl with some eating disorder. My brother helped her went through all together after she healed she dumped my brother and found another one. So ....
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Old 06-02-2016, 05:12 AM
 
6,822 posts, read 6,616,037 times
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I dated a girl that has not only an eating disorder but an official diagnosis of Schizoaffective Disorder which is mix of bipolar and schizophrenia symptoms. Symptoms include emotional mood swings (ie most often she'd be a bundle of tears in the corner of the couch and as I learned about her symptoms I realized partly why), audio/visual hallucinations (hearing screaming, seeing dark shapes/things on food), paranoia of food poisoning, and risk of weight loss (she was only 90 so pounds).

The worst symptom was intermittent amnesia. The girl would forget at times who I was even after hanging out with her for a while.

The poor girl was a mess and having some knowledge of nutrition, cooking, etc I tried to help her gain weight and to experience some normalcy in her life. I'd take her out to eat/ice cream, take her to the local lake, ballpark whatever. Twice while we were out at a restaurant, she had an episode where she didn't know who I was and was scared. This happened once at the lake. Thankfully while she'd forget me, she'd remember her dad and mother and knew how to contact them. She'd snap out of it though (like someone having a seizure) and would be deeply apologetic and I'm sure sad and embarrassed that I experienced that. I just assured her she was fine and not to be concerned about it.

I dated the girl for about a year. By far my most successful dating venture meeting people online. All she wanted was a normal life. I learned she had spent time at a psyche ward in which she was terrified of going back even resorting to lying to her psychiatrist about her symptoms (which I advised against).


I haven't talked to her in a couple of months after we had an understanding we were going to date other people. I feel kind of bad about not contacting her, but the last time I did she took it as I was interested in being romantically involved and she got real emotional. So yes the drama is almost unbearable as it hurts in a number of ways.

She is a real sweet person. My heart goes out to her and people that are struggling so bad like this. It's so sad to see the statistics of so many that have this disorder that end up homeless as they are entirely dependent on others to help them.
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Old 06-02-2016, 05:26 AM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,412,743 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ocpaul20 View Post
As I understand it, and I know very little about this stuff, I believe it has something to do with body image and self confidence issues so as such is not an eating disorder although it is called that.
Eating disorders are mental health disorders.
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Old 06-02-2016, 05:46 AM
 
9,952 posts, read 6,623,246 times
Reputation: 19656
Quote:
Originally Posted by klmrocks View Post
I got a question for men out there. What would you do if you found out you where dating a girl with an eating disorder?

1. Would you try and help her get help to deal with the condition, which might likely cause her to gain weight?

2. Would you dump her as you don't need the to deal with the drama?

3. Would you turn a blind eye to the problem because it helps he look good?

I know a lot of women that have had serious eating disorders since being pre-teens to the point that actually ended up in hospital and based on my profession can tell they still have eating disorder ex anorexia and bulimia and just really wonder how they are in relationships with men who either don't notice or don't care? I don't get how you can spend that much time with someone and not notice that they never eat or run to the bathroom shortly after they eat? Please note the intent of this post is not about weight shaming in either direction so no need to go there.
These things are hard *not* to notice. I'm not a man, but I had a roommate with an eating disorder and it can be extremely difficult to live with a person who is not getting the appropriate treatment. When we started living together, she was in remission, but then went through a relapse. She was an obsessive calorie counter (and we walked probably 4-5 miles per day on average) and other health issues were starting to manifest as the eating disorder worsened. Her skin was not looking good/getting rashes, etc. Luckily her husband (then-boyfriend) stuck with her through all this, but it was a challenging time for them, I am sure.

She eventually got therapy and still has to go back from time to time, but I think a lot of it has to do with other mental health issues. In some cases, it is a control/OCD issue and weight/food is something a person can control when everything else is out of control.
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Old 06-02-2016, 09:01 AM
 
2,469 posts, read 3,250,804 times
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Suggest or gently push towards professional help as far as eating disorders and such, go. I feel like everyone has some type of personality/mental problem but there is no way I'd want to be involved with someone dealing with Schizophrenia.
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Old 06-02-2016, 09:06 AM
 
Location: Toronto
6,750 posts, read 5,696,910 times
Reputation: 4619
Default ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ovell1980 View Post
I wouldn't ditch my partner if I was in that situation. I would help her to deal with the condition and help her understand about the problems she may face in her latter part of life. Over eating disorders can cause many health issues like obesity.
But what about the other end of the spectrum... ex she was straving herself or inducing vomiting after eating to maintain a certain weight.
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