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Old 06-06-2016, 08:23 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,585,620 times
Reputation: 98359

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Quote:
Originally Posted by GKelly View Post

If the posters here are tired of these threads they can stop responding.
If the OP would answer simple questions, that "lifelong" process might not take THAT long.

"Help" is a two-way interaction. When people post here about the same issue continually, with even the same wording, their posts become more like verbal diarrhea, which is most definitely a one-way action. Then they are interested in only seeking attention and validation, which is part of the reason they have "the problem" that brought them here.

If she just wants to moan about being a so-called broken woman, a victim, it might wake her up to understand that's why she got pegged by this guy in the first place.

I am about the OP's age. I could (and want to) offer her any help she desires, but she has to play along also.
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Old 06-06-2016, 02:50 PM
 
9,301 posts, read 8,304,563 times
Reputation: 7328
Quote:
Originally Posted by Autumn_sweater View Post
It's difficult to actually "do". I graduated this semester, I've tried to workout, and to re-connect with old friends. I've tried to go out...

but nothing compares to him. don't know what else to do
I'm sorry. I think all you can do is give it time, but you've been doing that too. I don't know what you can do. It's like you are lost. Maybe get help.
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Old 06-06-2016, 03:21 PM
 
Location: Toronto
6,750 posts, read 5,675,042 times
Reputation: 4619
Default Sex, love and the other nonsense in between ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Autumn_sweater View Post
Hello everyone,

At the end of 2012 I met a man in an online dating site. I fell in love with him, but he only used me for sex.
I became addicted to him because my mother abandoned me when I was a child.
I tend to get scared of people in general. When someone gets too close to me, I get scared of getting hurt, so I tend to withdraw from that relationship (friends, family, men..,)
However, with this guy was different, not only because he was extremely attractive and sensual, but because he was not interested in having a relationship with me.
that game me the security he'd never get too close to me to the point of run away. But I fell in love with him.
He continued to be aloof with me, dating many other women in the meantime, denying to date me or take me to dinner, and even denying to have sex with me sometimes.
We had cycles of three month periods, in which everything was ok for the first two months, and inevitable he'd withdraw from me at some point. I'd get mad at him, start no contact for a couple months until I'd contact him again to re-start everything again.

My purpose was to get him to love me, but I never could. I'd meet him at his home, we'd have sex, we'd probably text after that, but he'd not invest too much on me. Even though he knew I loved him like crazy, he could never reciprocate that love for me, but he gave me sex instead. and breadcrumbs (he said he missed me, that he loved me...)

I'd search for him online though. He was in five different dating sites during 2013, 2014 and beginnings of 2015, when he completely disappeared from online dating.

He told me many times he was dating other women, but that he just wanted to be alone. Until he found the one, in 2015, and all our texting/meeting for sex stopped.

It's been more than 15 months since I last met him. and unfortunately I could not met anyone else that could make me feel the excitement I felt with him.

I became sour and more lonely that I ever used to be. I found myself missing him very much. Missing the time we spent together and wondering how come my feelings for him were so intense and his, on the contrary, so insignificant. He let me go many times, without even regretting so. He deleted me from Facebook without a blink of an eye one time. But here I am, missing a man that is in happy romantic relationship right now with another woman. He didn't choose me over her. He did not reach out in 15 months.

And even though I try with all my heart, I cannot forget about him.
You totally messed up. Love and sex are not the same thing. This guys clearly enjoyed your physical company and that was it. I 100% think people usually do not value and appreciate things and people that come so easily to them. Move on. This situation is a lost cause. If someone loves you, they are not willing to loose you. He was never worried to loose you. Game is over. Move on. There are billions of other people. Do let this guy stick in your head. I have a bad feeling you don't understand the difference between love and sex. I did not always either, but based on what you described he never really loved you. Choose to love yourself and look for better opportunities.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izo-09kA0eE

Let Rihanna Nicki help you shake this one out of your head !

P.S. If by any crazy chance he comes back looking for some action honey give him a taste of his own medicine and put him in his place. Ex agree to meet for some mind blowing fun ... get him excited ex tell about some really hot your bought and want to try on for him ...etc and stand him up. If you want to put a cherry on top of this situation try and make sure to go out with other people or someone else and post it on social media # Having the best time ever.

If he called you or e-mails you don't answer. Make him wait. If he leaves you a message respond at earliest the late the next day... with an innocent .. oh sorry I totally forget we were going to meet up. And go on to tell him about how great your night was ( just to really dig in it .... you might want to add a bit in about the really hot guy you met last night and ended up hooking up with .. and how it was the best sex you had ever had).


OR

If you want to keep it simple and you and could do with a hook up. Have sex with him... pull out all the tricks on your end ... like right after make a casual comment to the effect of .. wow you seem like you are off your game tonight. Then start getting dressed and tell him it was cool seeing him an again, but you need to get ready to head out because you are meeting up with someone later.

Treat a dog like a dog. When you treat someone well who does not treat you well ... you are just degrading yourself. Do the world a favour and deflation his ego.

Last edited by klmrocks; 06-06-2016 at 03:39 PM..
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