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5 hours??? Maybe she is working. Some people work at work, you know?
They do?!
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Seriously, looking for a casual fling without having any idea of what you're doing is doomed to failure.
I would think it would be doomed for failure due to the possibility of an emotional attachment on the OP's part.
I'm finding casual to be much easier when I already know he isn't going to call the next day. But, as with anything else, communication goes a long way over speculation as to what the other is thinking or feeling.
I dunno, seems to me casual things happened a lot easier once I learned to make connections, and casual sex was definitely easier after I learned the basics with people that were patient and understanding and I had a connection with within a relationship.
But perhaps that's not the norm.
You seem to be incredibly nervous, and making a connection with someone that likes you back and you have a sincere connection with will help those nerves go away... its not cool to wondering if the person is judging you on every little move.
Well I don't really know her type of personality since we've only been texting. It's just what's the odds of an older woman being okay with a guy that's 30 that hasn't had any experience.
Last edited by Jersey4Life; 06-07-2016 at 02:13 PM..
5 hours??? Maybe she is working. Some people work at work, you know?
Yeah, I know I was just saying. I'm just starting to have doubts about the whole thing now in general though. I just feel like I have to get out of my comfort zone though but there's that other part of me that thinks this is a bad idea due to the age difference now.
Well I don't really know her type of personality since we've only been texting. It's just what's the odds of an older woman being okay with a guy that's 30 that hasn't had any experience.
Depends on what her experience is and only she can answer that. Sounds like you are just making excuses. But if you really don't want to meet her and find out where her head space is, it's best to just tell her now instead of wasting both of your time.
Depends on what her experience is and only she can answer that. Sounds like you are just making excuses. But if you really don't want to meet her and find out where her head space is, it's best to just tell her now instead of wasting both of your time.
I really would like to meet her, it's just my nervousness/stress about it is taking over from me actually wanting to do it. I don't know when she'll get back to me yet to see what she even says.
I really would like to meet her, it's just my nervousness/stress about it is taking over from me actually wanting to do it. I don't know when she'll get back to me yet to see what she even says.
Well, just think of it as coffee, which it should be, and not a lifetime commitment. Don't put the cart before the horse and start planning your whole life together just yet! Get together for coffee. See how it goes. If it goes well, meet again. If it doesn't, part ways and move on.
Well, just think of it as coffee, which it should be, and not a lifetime commitment. Don't put the cart before the horse and start planning your whole life together just yet! Get together for coffee. See how it goes. If it goes well, meet again. If it doesn't, part ways and move on.
True, it's just I'm all anxious/nauseous about it even when not getting an answer yet. I don't want to hold myself back & not go through with it if she says yes but I just know I'll constantly be worrying about it. I just wish I could not care & not let it worry me, it's part of what's always held me back.
Yeah, I know I was just saying. I'm just starting to have doubts about the whole thing now in general though. I just feel like I have to get out of my comfort zone though but there's that other part of me that thinks this is a bad idea due to the age difference now.
You've basically taken yourself from a spark of interest, to talking, to falling for this woman, to making a huge deal out of it all right down to what three dots might mean, to fear that she might not want you, to disappointment, to your own dwindling interest...
...without even having had a first date.
I think maybe you should think a bit deeper about whether or not you WANT to have a relationship, or even just a romantic association, with a woman. You've just single-handedly experienced an entire relationship in a matter of days, without ever even having met the woman. This may warrant a little soul-searching.
I'm not trying to be mean, I'm saying you're doing all this in your head...NOTHING has happened yet you've experienced this cornucopia of spilling emotions running the gamut...you may be deliberately avoiding relationships and instead are living "mini" versions of them (emotions-wise) entirely in your head before dumping the whole thing.
I don't say this lightly...you also expressed that you didn't want to lose your virginity previously and it was because of potential distance (?)...that too sounds like avoidance.
I think you're scared of the whole thing and that's why you're still a virgin at 30.
You've basically taken yourself from a spark of interest, to talking, to falling for this woman, to making a huge deal out of it all right down to what three dots might mean, to fear that she might not want you, to disappointment, to your own dwindling interest...
...without even having had a first date.
I think maybe you should think a bit deeper about whether or not you WANT to have a relationship, or even just a romantic association, with a woman. You've just single-handedly experienced an entire relationship in a matter of days, without ever even having met the woman. This may warrant a little soul-searching.
I'm not trying to be mean, I'm saying you're doing all this in your head...NOTHING has happened yet you've experienced this cornucopia of spilling emotions running the gamut...you may be deliberately avoiding relationships and instead are living "mini" versions of them (emotions-wise) entirely in your head before dumping the whole thing.
I don't say this lightly...you also expressed that you didn't want to lose your virginity previously and it was because of potential distance (?)...that too sounds like avoidance.
I think you're scared of the whole thing and that's why you're still a virgin at 30.
I just suffer with really bad anxiety issues obviously & it's always held me back from a lot of things. As you said I am in my head quite a bit always worrying about different scenarios & such. I just have to fight through it somehow since I don't want to be alone forever. I'm 30 now, I don't want to be in my 40s & still a virgin & have no relationships. I just don't know how some people do it where they just don't care & not let anything at all bother them.
I just suffer with really bad anxiety issues obviously & it's always held me back from a lot of things. As you said I am in my head quite a bit always worrying about different scenarios & such. I just have to fight through it somehow since I don't want to be alone forever. I'm 30 now, I don't want to be in my 40s & still a virgin & have no relationships. I just don't know how some people do it where they just don't care & not let anything at all bother them.
Before I read the above, I wanted to tell you to relax.
RELAX! The more you relax and chill, the more likely you will find the woman you desire. If you are a bundle of nerves, you'll make every woman run away.
don't go crazy if she doesn't answer immediately. Don't hover over the computer/phone, ignoring life and waiting for an answer. Don't answer back immediately all the time. It makes you seem needy, clingy, and desperate.
Again: RELAX.
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