Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Seriously, looking for a casual fling without having any idea of what you're doing is doomed to failure. Find someone at the same place that you can learn with. Ideally that should have been high school, or even college.
Maybe she'd be willing to show me a few tricks. And that's what I mean, how am I supposed to get out there if people are saying I'm too old to start now. It's like either way I'm doomed for failure since if I sit back & do nothing than nothing will happen but if I try it's doomed for failure?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,940,305 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jersey4Life
Maybe she'd be willing to show me a few tricks. And that's what I mean, how am I supposed to get out there if people are saying I'm too old to start now. It's like either way I'm doomed for failure since if I sit back & do nothing than nothing will happen but if I try it's doomed for failure?
No one said you're doomed for failure. Why do you take everything to extremes?
And it isn't about learning "tricks", there aren't "tricks", these are people. You should be focusing on making connections, and developing relationships. The physical part flows from that.
But whatever, you seem more interested in losing virginity than connecting with someone... maybe that is why you haven't? Anyway, your head space is your enemy.
No one said you're doomed for failure. Why do you take everything to extremes?
And it isn't about learning "tricks", there aren't "tricks", these are people. You should be focusing on making connections, and developing relationships. The physical part flows from that.
But whatever, you seem more interested in losing virginity than connecting with someone... maybe that is why you haven't? Anyway, your head space is your enemy.
You said that a casual fling with an older woman is doomed for failure since I don't have experience. And I know, I was just making a joke. This woman just happened to message me first & we just started chatting & I guess admittedly I liked the idea of possibly seeing an older woman since I do find a lot of older women attractive, just I know it would highly likely never work out for anything serious. I just feel I'd need to have some sort of dating/sex experience before I can ever get into a serious relationship though. A woman with a lot of options isn't going to want a guy with no experience for a serious relationship. And true, I always overthink everything quite a bit.
Well mine did. That 15 year age difference is alot in my opinion.
And at some ages, say 15 and 30, I agree it would be. As you get older, it's easier to overcome. 30 and 45 isn't that bad; my friend and her BF are 45 and 60 and you'd never guess he's that much older than she is, let alone that he's 60!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jersey4Life
And that's what I mean, how am I supposed to get out there if people are saying I'm too old to start now. It's like either way I'm doomed for failure since if I sit back & do nothing than nothing will happen but if I try it's doomed for failure?
I have a friend who had a very active dating life. We told him he had dating ADHD. He would tell me about one he'd set up a date with while scrolling through an OLD app to see who he wanted to meet next. Yet he was still a virgin. When we met, he was 29. He's now 35 and just got married - to the only woman he's slept with.
I'm pretty sure he doesn't consider his late start to be a failure. You are doomed for failure if you sit back and do nothing, correct. You may not connect with everyone you meet, but at least you'll be trying.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,940,305 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jersey4Life
You said that a casual fling with an older woman is doomed for failure since I don't have experience. And I know, I was just making a joke. This woman just happened to message me first & we just started chatting & I guess admittedly I liked the idea of possibly seeing an older woman since I do find a lot of older women attractive, just I know it would highly likely never work out for anything serious. I just feel I'd need to have some sort of dating/sex experience before I can ever get into a serious relationship though. A woman with a lot of options isn't going to want a guy with no experience for a serious relationship. And true, I always overthink everything quite a bit.
I dunno, seems to me casual things happened a lot easier once I learned to make connections, and casual sex was definitely easier after I learned the basics with people that were patient and understanding and I had a connection with within a relationship.
But perhaps that's not the norm.
You seem to be incredibly nervous, and making a connection with someone that likes you back and you have a sincere connection with will help those nerves go away... its not cool to wondering if the person is judging you on every little move.
A woman with a lot of options isn't going to want a guy with no experience for a serious relationship. And true, I always overthink everything quite a bit.
You don't know for sure she has a lot of options. A woman with a lot of options is likely not going to make first contact as she'd likely be out exploring all those other options. (I wouldn't know since I'm not one of them).
An older woman may also like the idea of a younger man who isn't a set-in-his-ways, stuck-in-the-mud snooze fest whose "equipment" is starting to fail.
All my life, I've been attracted to older men. LH was 7.5 years older than me. But in the last few years, I've noticed I'd much rather find someone a few years younger. Although, what really matters isn't so much his age but rather his ability to keep me young.
True. It's been 5 hours & still no reply back yet to know one way or another. And I wouldn't ask her about her experience with younger guys. Obviously I'm sure she's been with some younger guys if she's messaging me when I'm 10+ years younger than her.
5 hours??? Maybe she is working. Some people work at work, you know?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
And that's what I mean, how am I supposed to get out there if people are saying I'm too old to start now. It's like either way I'm doomed for failure since if I sit back & do nothing than nothing will happen but if I try it's doomed for failure?
