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I am not married, but I am in a very happy 2 year relationship and I was very unhappily married before. My relationship now is like night and day from my relationship where I was married. We both look for little ways to make the other person happy every single day. We say thank you and I appreciate you a LOT. Something as simple as him making the bed while I get ready for work is something I say thank you for. My boyfriend is very very neat. I'm somewhere in the middle, but I make effort to be neat for him and he makes effort not to be critical if I sometimes am not as neat as he would like me to be. It also helps that I admire him and respect him and think he's the best person I've ever met. It makes appreciating him a lot easier. Everything is a struggle when you're with someone who isn't right for you.
I noticed that with my marriage. My last marriage was very abusive. My ex-husband had a rage problem, not just toward me, but toward many people. However, there are two people in relationships, and I did things wrong as well. I don't want to make the same mistakes I have in that marriage and my other failed relationships. Fortunately, I also have age on my side. My wife is in her early 50s and I'm nearing 40, so even though we have the undesirable effects of aging such as cellulite and wrinkles, we also have the benefits of wisdom and maturity going for us
LOL. I agree 100%. I know a woman who is getting married in a few months. She is so wrapped up in the trivial details of the wedding (and perhaps adding many unnecessary ones), that she can't see the forest for the trees. The wedding is only the beginning, not the end of the relationship. When my wife and I were planning our wedding, we chose a very simple one, keeping in mind that the ceremony was just that: a ceremony. The real work, and fun, was beyond when we exchanged vows.
To show my appreciation, I buy her gifts "just because." We get cards for one another. We also do frequent date nights. I'm not a tidy person, but I'm working hard at improving that because I know it annoys her. I keep up with my workouts. I avoid criticism, remembering instead the things I love about her. And ever day when I wake up, I make the conscious choice to love her and be her partner in life that day. I know that sounds odd, but it's an internal daily wedding vow renewal. I'm not perfect, but I want to be the best spouse I can be.
It's the little attentive things that mean the most. You get as many "points" for a flower plucked from the garden as you do for a fine piece of jewelry. The adage, "It's the thought that counts." has never been more true than in a marriage. Beyond that, be a good listener.
I always told my spouse how much I appreciated him and all the nice things he did. He would leave notes on the laundry he did while I was at work. Just funny, cute notes. He'd come home with dessert on occasion. I would meet him at the train station on a hot day with an egg cream. We did this all the time for over 20 years. Never in my life will I ever meet someone as compatible. A few short months ago, he died suddenly and I'm a widow at 51. My world has been shattered, broken, torn up and my heart has been ripped from my chest. Nothing will ever be the same.
Do the small things on a regular basis to show love and appreciation. Most of all, appreciate what you have while you have and realize that in the blink of an eye it could all be just gone.
I always told my spouse how much I appreciated him and all the nice things he did. He would leave notes on the laundry he did while I was at work. Just funny, cute notes. He'd come home with dessert on occasion. I would meet him at the train station on a hot day with an egg cream. We did this all the time for over 20 years. Never in my life will I ever meet someone as compatible. A few short months ago, he died suddenly and I'm a widow at 51. My world has been shattered, broken, torn up and my heart has been ripped from my chest. Nothing will ever be the same.
Do the small things on a regular basis to show love and appreciation. Most of all, appreciate what you have while you have and realize that in the blink of an eye it could all be just gone.
I am heartbroken for you just reading this. I cannot imagine your sense of loss at this moment.
But you are so correct. Life is a precious gift. Every single moment of it. And we can either spend our time creating love and hope and happiness in those around us, or we can devote it to worrying over the trivial and the pointless.
The words I can offer here are small and insufficient. But I hope that the love you had together endures within you, even if your husband is gone. May you know peace. And may your heart, having the capacity to love so completely, be filled once again.
I always told my spouse how much I appreciated him and all the nice things he did. He would leave notes on the laundry he did while I was at work. Just funny, cute notes. He'd come home with dessert on occasion. I would meet him at the train station on a hot day with an egg cream. We did this all the time for over 20 years. Never in my life will I ever meet someone as compatible. A few short months ago, he died suddenly and I'm a widow at 51. My world has been shattered, broken, torn up and my heart has been ripped from my chest. Nothing will ever be the same.
Do the small things on a regular basis to show love and appreciation. Most of all, appreciate what you have while you have and realize that in the blink of an eye it could all be just gone.
I'm really sorry to hear this. Time will help a little. Hang in there.
I always told my spouse how much I appreciated him and all the nice things he did. He would leave notes on the laundry he did while I was at work. Just funny, cute notes. He'd come home with dessert on occasion. I would meet him at the train station on a hot day with an egg cream. We did this all the time for over 20 years. Never in my life will I ever meet someone as compatible. A few short months ago, he died suddenly and I'm a widow at 51. My world has been shattered, broken, torn up and my heart has been ripped from my chest. Nothing will ever be the same.
Do the small things on a regular basis to show love and appreciation. Most of all, appreciate what you have while you have and realize that in the blink of an eye it could all be just gone.
I'm so sorry to hear this.
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