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I don't think you need to tell her that you've been tempted to cheat. Just explain that sex is important to you in a relationship and whilst you love her, it's not something that you can do without.
Well...you don't know that you're sexually incompatible, as you have never had sex.
This really depends on the reason. If she was raped or something, you're dealing with something pretty serious which will require lots of therapy for her, and that would have to be her decision. On the other hand, if Jesus told her not to have sex until marriage it's a whole different ball of wax and might also point to philosophical incompatibility, not just a disagreement on getting physical.
It's impossible to say what you "should" do since we don't know the circumstances here, but if you can't have a sexless relationship, that is what you should say. It's the truth. What else CAN you say? This is what it comes down to.
These were my thoughts exactly...that the reason she does not want to have sex would be important in order for anyone to advise...that having been a victim of a sexual assault is much different than not being ready to lose her virginity. Without knowing the details, all I can say is that you just need to be honest and kind.
You could ask when she was thinking to have sex with you. If you cannot agree with her answer, discuss and if no solution, then break up if that is a dealbreaker to you.
Unfortunately if you are going to be in a relationship you have to learn to talk about things. The earlier the better.
I think you two are incompatible regarding what each of you wants out of a relationship. She may already know that you'd like for sex to be part of your relationship with her, but I wouldn't give her an ultimatum like "either we have sex or I'm gone". That's a crappy thing to do to a person and she'd likely resent you for it whatever she chose to do in response.
You know why she's reluctant to have sex. If she's had sex but felt like she was sexual too early or before she was ready, you have to decide how long you're willing to wait. If she won't have sex until marriage or until some level of commitment is there, are you interested in that? If she was raped or abused or if she has some medical/physical issue, is she working to overcome this obstacle and are you willing to at the very least be part of her recovery, and possibly stay in a relationship where sex may always be an issue?
If whatever the issue is your answer is "no", well then you have your answer. If you're OK with waiting, you could decide how long you can wait and keep that to yourself wait without pressuring her. When that time arrives, then you have a decision to make.
I don't think you need to tell her that you've been tempted to cheat. Just explain that sex is important to you in a relationship and whilst you love her, it's not something that you can do without.
I've read the other replies and I would go along with this.
Say you need sex to connect and feel loved. After you have expressed yourself to her, she may even be the one to break-up with you, since she is strong on her belief of no sex.
Calling it right now: A few weeks after you break-up she is going to forget about her hang-ups and do the things only Prince sings about.
As for you. If you have wandering eyes, and since you're both young, I would seriously advise making a clean break-up. You need someone with the same sexual attitude as you.
Tell her that you need sex in a relationship. You could try to initiate sex one last time before doing this as well, since it seems you really like her otherwise. Just explain to her that you need sex in a relationship since that is the truth. Breaking up is painful for most people, but honesty is the best way.
Cheating is definitely not the way to go. Cheaters go to hell, they go to hell and they die.
She needs to understand that there are VERY few men who are willing to forego sex in a relationship. If only for that so she will know that SHE needs to work on the issue, whether she wants to be with YOU or another man. If you stick with her, she will likely never feel the need to REALLY work on the problem. I'm not saying she HAS to, but she needs some real motivation to do so, And a naive girl that she sounds to be might be very unrealistic as to what a mature relationship is and is not.
Awww, even if you had sex with [her], you'd still be looking over your shoulder at other girls.
Don't take your precious gf's trophy when you'll only end up pooping on it.
Do her and you a big favor and move on.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 06-11-2016 at 07:03 PM..
Reason: Vulgar term deleted.
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