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It sounds like you are both fresh out of relationships (I still count yours as fresh) and are so happy you both found someone you are sexually compatible with. You fell in "love quickly", which to me always seems a red flag, especially after a divorce. Your feelings are hurt, and this girl filled the void, clearly you did the same for her. You may not realize it but that's how it seems to me.
Also, it's easy to say you "never felt like this with your wife" when you were married for 11 years. I'm guessing you also had a honeymoon phase with your wife before it leveled off, you just may not remember.
Also, I had plenty of sexually charged relationships with men before my husband that were way more sexually centered than my marriage is now. At the time I would have told you that feeling was the best feeling and the ONLY feeling I wanted, but being married, it's different and better to have this level of a relationship. Don't get me wrong, sex is great and important, but a highly sexually charged relationship is not comparable to that of a marriage. Don't get too caught up in that. Especially if she is still boning her ex, you're not special.
She doesn't want to be exclusive but keeps playing you and you keep playing along. STOP!
She left you and is back with her BF. She is being unfaithful to her BF, with you. If she switches you to BF status she will be unfaithful to you with the ex-BF.
I think you were both on the rebound from your previous relationships.
If this is your first relationship out of the gate, you may benefit from some counseling on why this is something you want.
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I read stories like the OP's and I think they can't possibly be serious. What man in his right mind wants to be with a cheating woman? The first clue to her moral character should have been her having sex with you on the first date.
You're lonely and looking for love in all the wrong places with the wrong woman.
It sounds like you are both fresh out of relationships (I still count yours as fresh) and are so happy you both found someone you are sexually compatible with. You fell in "love quickly", which to me always seems a red flag, especially after a divorce. Your feelings are hurt, and this girl filled the void, clearly you did the same for her. You may not realize it but that's how it seems to me.
Also, it's easy to say you "never felt like this with your wife" when you were married for 11 years. I'm guessing you also had a honeymoon phase with your wife before it leveled off, you just may not remember.
Also, I had plenty of sexually charged relationships with men before my husband that were way more sexually centered than my marriage is now. At the time I would have told you that feeling was the best feeling and the ONLY feeling I wanted, but being married, it's different and better to have this level of a relationship. Don't get me wrong, sex is great and important, but a highly sexually charged relationship is not comparable to that of a marriage. Don't get too caught up in that. Especially if she is still boning her ex, you're not special.
She doesn't want to be exclusive but keeps playing you and you keep playing along. STOP!
You are right and I need to stop. I just have not listened to my gut feelings and now know how blinded I was.
Can you care to share on the red flag comment? Is it wrong to love or have such strong feelings on first impression?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
Yes, you are being stupid and blind.
She left you and is back with her BF. She is being unfaithful to her BF, with you. If she switches you to BF status she will be unfaithful to you with the ex-BF.
I think you were both on the rebound from your previous relationships.
If this is your first relationship out of the gate, you may benefit from some counseling on why this is something you want.
This is actually my first relationship after my divorce. I've been so emotional lately and have been thinking out loud to help me clear my head and view all the scenarios from a different perspective. With that said I think I might probably need some counseling in the future.
Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228
I read stories like the OP's and I think they can't possibly be serious. What man in his right mind wants to be with a cheating woman? The first clue to her moral character should have been her having sex with you on the first date.
You're lonely and looking for love in all the wrong places with the wrong woman.
In fact I do feel lonely. As desperate as I may sound here, I'm fairly reserved in person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by free.spirit
Great advice. No matter the excuse, every action shows you who they are and if they are to be trusted.
When she asked you if you could be fwb, she was telling you she does not want to be in a real relationship with you, certainly not what you want. She knows how you feel but she doesn't care.
This is a woman who will take from you whatever you're willing to give. She will break your heart, use you & leave you in a huddled mass on the floor. You are already showing signs of being alcoholic. She doesn't care.
I'm sure she is special to you because she was the first one after your marriage to make you feel good about yourself again. But in reality she is only out for herself. She doesn't care enough about her boyfriend to be faithful to him. She doesn't care enough about you to not screw up your life.
You need to tell her it's over completely. No fwb. Do not contact her boyfriend. Just let it go. Give yourself a chance to meet other women. You'll have a better chance of being with someone who really loves you.
Get some therapy and learn how to respect YOU!!! Any self respecting person would NEVER allow a "girl" to go back and forth. What are you thinking?
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