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I am a 25 yr male and married for 4 years. I love my wife and desire to make her happy. Though I am unhappy myself. I think the main reason is that I feel unwanted. I just got back from Iraq and was there for two months. Durning that time me and my wife vowled to do more for each other because we agreed that things were not well between us. Since I have been back we have made love a total of 3 times. Once the day I got back and the other 2 times were not good. I basicly had to beg. I feel very unwanted. It makes me angry because I very much desire my wife but she dosen't want any physical touching. esecialy sex. up until now things were good between us. That is until I feel so awful inside I can hardly bear it. Things have been though for us finacialy, but we are making progress. We have a new home and both work. bills get paid but the is little left to spend on my wife. It seems no matter what I do I just can't make her want me. I need a wife who will have me. WHAT DO I DO??????
First of all, thank you for everything you have done for our country and for the people of Iraq. We are very proud of our soldiers and support you all the way. That being said, it sounds to me like you and your wife need some marital counseling. It can't be easy for you to come back here aqnd adjust again to life here and it has to be difficult for her as well having you back at home. Big changes for both of you. Before you do go to get counseling, suggest to your wife that you sit down, perhaps with a bottle of wine and air all your differences...what is different now as opposed to before, does she feel like you are underfoot now, is there anything else going on that you should know about...stuff like that..get it out there. If she is having issues adjusting and so are you and both of you come to that conclusion, they suggest the marriage counseling..it does help.
I can hear in your post that you are perhaps thinking something else is going on, no? If you are then this has to come up in the conversation you have with her. Remember, nothing is going to be accomplished with her or with you if either of you get angry through this adjustment period...it has to be difficult and I can understand your level of frustration.
Good luck with this and stay in touch....you have been through a lot having been in Iraq and it could very well be that the time you were gone was tough on her and she is just a bit resentful??? Who knows?? Please do stay in touch and let me know how you are doing with this.
CP
It's May 2009 and little has changed as far sex, only getting worse. The money problems have not been completely fixed but are getting better with time now that my wife is working again. We are expecting a boy soon that was a surprise. My wife is ok with the pregnancy and that’s good because I feared she would have reacted negatively. I am happy to have a child however just before the news I was almost sure that I wanted to separate. The only thing holding me together is my unborn son. I think that if I ever met a woman that accepts me for me that it will be nearly impossible to stay in this marriage. I vowel not to stray unless it is legal. Right now I just try to focus on having a healthy boy to care for.
Things have gotten worse and now I am considering a separation. I have tried talking but she clams up. She will say it's not me she is upset about her career and others things. I feel that she can't possaibly love me and that if I am such a bad husband to deserve this treatment then I will be doing her a favor by leaving. I have planned on telling her this week that I will be moving out of the house to think for awhile. This is my last resort. I would just divorce if I didn't love her so much and for that matter I may not even care to have sex with her. I love her very much but it hurts dearly.
a friend of mine's son who is the same age as you was going to get seperated from his wife because she was on line looking to hook up and told him she never loved him and some other things. his attorney gave him some great advice which is go ahead and start the divorce papers you can always stop them if things work them self out. but by the time it becomes final if she hasn't come around she isn't gonna. you are young, you will find someone else. it does hurt terribly when someone you love doesn't love you back as they should. but you do deserve to be loved, it sounds like this lady has fallen out of love with you and it too chicken sh** to say it. try to move on the best you can. a goor relationship has lots of fun, laughs and great sex!
It's May 2009 and little has changed as far sex, only getting worse. The money problems have not been completely fixed but are getting better with time now that my wife is working again. We are expecting a boy soon that was a surprise. My wife is ok with the pregnancy and that’s good because I feared she would have reacted negatively. I am happy to have a child however just before the news I was almost sure that I wanted to separate. The only thing holding me together is my unborn son. I think that if I ever met a woman that accepts me for me that it will be nearly impossible to stay in this marriage. I vowel not to stray unless it is legal. Right now I just try to focus on having a healthy boy to care for.
Signed
Brokenman
I didn't see your update. stay as long as things feel right for you but don't stay in a relationship because of the children we used to do that back in the dark ages and the children always know becuase they feel the tension. you deserve to be happy and loved.
Sorry I missed the update. Ignore my post about the private investigator & good luck1
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*Update: MAY 2009*
