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Old 07-01-2016, 02:58 PM
 
14 posts, read 8,028 times
Reputation: 15

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy View Post
You broke up with her simply because she would not agree with you that it was not a good idea? Even though she told you she would not go because you didn't like it?

Just because she didn't agree with you?

If this is the case, I think you are the person who is crazy.

I hate to tell you this, but you will never find a woman who doesn't at least disagree with on at least one or two important things.
That's a whole different discussion. I am pretty sure you have your own "deal breakers". Let's say I cannot see her seriously anymore. The mildest way to put it is that it seems we come from completely different cultures, what is completely natural for her it is severely "no go" for me! Can you see a harmonic future relationship when things like that will pop up? I am not at an age to play with my life and although I love her to bits I think we will both be miserable if we stay. So, it is more than your oversimplified "you split, because you disagree". Let's say if we were disagreeing for our football teams it would be different

But I am mostly interested in your personal opinion on the subject and not whether I am or whether she is crazy. Would you be OK with the situation? And please don't try to hurt me as some of the previous, I assure I don't get hurt over the Internet....
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Old 07-01-2016, 03:38 PM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,903,107 times
Reputation: 8595
I'd be fine with it, unless she was specifically excluding me from going if I wanted to go also.
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Old 07-01-2016, 04:25 PM
 
14 posts, read 8,028 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just A Guy View Post
I'd be fine with it, unless she was specifically excluding me from going if I wanted to go also.
OK, I see what you mean! Certainly I don't think there is anything dodgy on her side as many people implied. So for you that is enough and you wouldn't have a problem with her going alone. Unfortunately, I do not see the same from the ex, that's why I am completely against even for her asking me. I think she should have never put me in a situation to say no and "forbid" her things, or to the situation that she does not go for me but it is otherwise completely natural to go. To clearly state my view, even if her ex was not a "hitter", I wouldn't like the idea of her spending so much time with him all by themselves.

There were also many reflected views on the subject about feelings and how sure one can be about them. A colleague the other day told me "well, she might not have feelings for him, but that's the best situation to start having". In any case I find it unfair a partner to be put in my position. And I totally agree with the other commentator about trust, as you might see I really trust her, but this is not a trustworthy behavior and trust doesn't have infinite credit for me...

In any case, thank you for your input.
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Old 07-02-2016, 04:03 PM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,993 posts, read 8,923,439 times
Reputation: 8105


Quote:
Originally Posted by Baruch View Post
you would also like me to be hurt out of the situation. I am not exactly sure what I have done to you to deserve that.
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Old 07-02-2016, 04:54 PM
 
302 posts, read 230,430 times
Reputation: 384
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baruch View Post
That's a whole different discussion. I am pretty sure you have your own "deal breakers". Let's say I cannot see her seriously anymore. The mildest way to put it is that it seems we come from completely different cultures, what is completely natural for her it is severely "no go" for me! Can you see a harmonic future relationship when things like that will pop up? I am not at an age to play with my life and although I love her to bits I think we will both be miserable if we stay. So, it is more than your oversimplified "you split, because you disagree". Let's say if we were disagreeing for our football teams it would be different

But I am mostly interested in your personal opinion on the subject and not whether I am or whether she is crazy. Would you be OK with the situation? And please don't try to hurt me as some of the previous, I assure I don't get hurt over the Internet....
You sound like you are controlling to be honest. She isn't even allowed to voice her opinion without a threat to your relationship. Better for her to be rid of you!
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Old 07-02-2016, 10:20 PM
 
2,156 posts, read 3,331,295 times
Reputation: 2837
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baruch View Post
OK, I see what you mean! Certainly I don't think there is anything dodgy on her side as many people implied. So for you that is enough and you wouldn't have a problem with her going alone. Unfortunately, I do not see the same from the ex, that's why I am completely against even for her asking me. I think she should have never put me in a situation to say no and "forbid" her things, or to the situation that she does not go for me but it is otherwise completely natural to go. To clearly state my view, even if her ex was not a "hitter", I wouldn't like the idea of her spending so much time with him all by themselves.

There were also many reflected views on the subject about feelings and how sure one can be about them. A colleague the other day told me "well, she might not have feelings for him, but that's the best situation to start having". In any case I find it unfair a partner to be put in my position. And I totally agree with the other commentator about trust, as you might see I really trust her, but this is not a trustworthy behavior and trust doesn't have infinite credit for me...

In any case, thank you for your input.
You don't have to justify yourself to anyone. You live your life and you do what makes you happy. Not everyone is going to agree with you. Who cares. Some of these people posting probably have crappier life than you.
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Old 07-02-2016, 10:42 PM
 
3,393 posts, read 5,276,530 times
Reputation: 3031
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baruch View Post
I am with my gf for two years. Last week she told me she would like in the future to visit her recent ex (with whom she had a relationship for 2 years) and stay with him in his country for a week. She told me there are no feelings both ways, that they are just friends and I shouldn't make scenarios in my head. I am not OK with the idea at all. In addition, she said none of her friends would find this a bad idea and kind of implied that my views on the issue are conservative.

Since on the other hand none of my friends would be OK with that, I was hoping to hear some opinions on the issue from some people not linked to any of us.

PS just to stay on the safe side, I am OK with her being friends with her ex, but I find it too much to visit and stay with him for a week in his country.
That is WRONG. She should not be visiting an exes without you being there. She's up to no good.
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