Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The moment it's over, it's over. She could be dating the next person within an hour of the break-up, it doesn't matter. She does not owe you an explanation. Actually, the moment you broke up, she can sleep around with whoever, whenever. Even if you two are still talking, had sex, it still doesn't matter. You two are over.
OP, it seems like you want to believe she never did feel anything much for you, or that she did but has some character flaw that explains how quickly she moved on. If you insist, choose one of those options and run with it for a couple of days. Feel bad about it, work through those feelings, and then move on.
I doesn't really matter what happened. You need to get past it, and if feeling bad for a few days does that, have at it.
The other option is to say, "Wow, I misread that. Next time I'll have to move more slowly or listen more intently or .....". Again, regardless of what you think happened, that latter option paints you as being in control of what happens next. I'd recommend this.
You broke up with her. Find someone who is more on the same page with what you want. If she didn't meet what you needed then why get all torn up about it? She has the right to do what she wants the minute you broke up. You also made the choice to sleep with her, cuddle with her after you broke with her.
Start taking responsibility for YOUR actions. You seem caught up in blaming her for choices you made.
Just from reading your post, I think she is getting exactly what she wants. She showed you the flirty text and said you are special without trying to restore the relationship. She wants you to break up with her.
You may ask why she is doing this? I think she want to shed the couple label. That way, she can hang around with multiple guys.
Last edited by Milehighrockies; 06-16-2016 at 10:37 AM..
A week after I first visited her and said I wanted her back, we met again at her place. I explained again why I wanted her back, why she was so special to me etc. And then she unzipped my pants and we ended up in bed, after which we cooked and took a shower together, she wanted me to stay and we kissed and cuddled the whole night. The same thing repeated again a week later. And then I found out that she had been together with the new guy the whole time and they had already slept a few days after I had cut contact with her.
What exactly is the question here? OP, are you wanting to know what motivated her to find someone else after you ended it with her? This makes little sense.
You mentioned that she knew how you have a problem with jealousy. I'm surprised no one has touched on that yet - you need to come to terms with that part of your personality and fix it or you will always struggle to find a fulfilling relationship.
Yes, I am trying to move on. But that's very difficult to do when I can't understand what was going on. To this day she still insists that she truly loved me and that she will never have such a special connection with someone as she had with me (and quite honestly, I feel exactly the same about her...). When she was already with the new guy, I questioned the love she supposedly had towards me, and she got really upset, started crying and hitting me (not so hard that it hurt). I just don't understand, and that is preventing me from moving on. It's such a damn (I'm sorry I can't find a better word) Mod cut.
Sorry you're going through this. Maybe she's a needy person who needs the attention of other guys, even when she's in a good, happy relationship. Sounds like baggage. Try to realize that she has flaws that aren't compatible with you. I hope that helps.
I feel for you, brother, I really do. But, you shouldn't think like that ^. Neither of you owe each other anything, especially now that you aren't together. Accept what's happened, if you haven't already, and don't look back.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
