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Last year, he had a girlfriend, and her best friend wanted in on the relationship, girlfriend thought it was a good idea, son was not sure but the idea of having two hot girlfriends did of course appeal to him. So he went with it. He asked me for advice on how to be poly. I laughed and told him that even if everyone involved is a mature, self aware adult, with excellent communication skills and all...it's still a challenge. With a trio of teenagers? I give y'all a week. Have fun while it lasts, because it won't.
About the instant he started acting jealous about the girls "talking to" other boys, they both dropped him like a hot potato. He got all dramatic about it, even to the point of threatening to harm himself if the original girlfriend wouldn't come back to him. This of course did no one any good. Though they outlasted my prediction by a day, it was 8 days before they broke up with him. We have had conversations since then about relationships (he doesn't think poly is going to be a good idea for him...lol...duh!) and about how he's going to have to chill out and not be paranoid and jealous if he wants to keep a girlfriend, and about how no matter what happens, being a drama queen is not the right call.
From someone whose been in VA his whole life, sorry that the wild weather here dealt you a bad hand. I’m hoping the best for you and this long distance thing. I will never do long distance again but my LDRs were two of the best experiences I had with women that were just compromised by living so far away. I need to re-ramp up my job search so I can get out of here and be around better matches in my dating life.
Sounds like a good idea.
And thanks for the well wishes. It's ironic because I have been giving a coworker friend of mine crap for 2 years on account of his LDR, saying to him how LDR's are a bad idea, how I would never do an LDR, etc. And now find myself in a remarkably similar situation. The main reason I'm prepared to do it is because she's planning to leave her job after this year. And is open to moving out here. It also helps that I met her online, so we were already very comfortable talking remotely with each other before we met. Since we last met, we're now up to about an hour daily talking on the phone. I really miss the physical part of our relationship though.
And yeah, I was told that the weather in VA has been extraordinarily unusual this year. She lives on the southern border of VA, but she basically was getting hit with thunderstorms daily for the entire month of August and half of September.
He is learning. It's just the age old struggle of a caring parent. None of this stuff is abnormal or uncommon for teenage kids in general.
One of the hardest parts of being a parent is having learned lessons the hard way, knowing you want to try and pass on wisdom to your kids so that they need not suffer hardship, but also knowing that they won't listen, and that even if they did, learning lessons by living them and going through hardships builds character.
Letting them fall down when they need to. It isn't easy. But it's also fairly typical for a person to mature to some point in adulthood where the lessons given by their parents, when reinforced by life lived, start to make sense. Or not, as the case may be. Anyhow you work out what your parents were right and wrong about. I have faith that he'll get there.
I went to a concert in Denver last night. Got back home at 2AM. Am trying to function now on some 3 hours sleep. I'm getting way too old for this...
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deepsix
Sounds like a good idea.
And thanks for the well wishes. It's ironic because I have been giving a coworker friend of mine crap for 2 years on account of his LDR, saying to him how LDR's are a bad idea, how I would never do an LDR, etc. And now find myself in a remarkably similar situation. The main reason I'm prepared to do it is because she's planning to leave her job after this year. And is open to moving out here. It also helps that I met her online, so we were already very comfortable talking remotely with each other before we met. Since we last met, we're now up to about an hour daily talking on the phone. I really miss the physical part of our relationship though.
And yeah, I was told that the weather in VA has been extraordinarily unusual this year. She lives on the southern border of VA, but she basically was getting hit with thunderstorms daily for the entire month of August and half of September.
I grew up in the SE part of the state near Norfolk and I could remember a July and August one year where it was severe thunderstorms and torrential down powers every day. The worst summer ever for a 10 year old me.
My longer LDR I was planning to move out to her area mainly to be closer to my mother who was getting sick. Once things changed and (thankfully) her health improved and I went back to school, that kind of fizzled out and soured the LDR.
Did Hurricane Matthew get you too? It is currently bringing a lot of rain here in VA, I might need Noah’s ark to drive home from work.
Yeap.....I live in the southeast so we got hit hard.
But everything is all good now. It wasn't as bad as Irma thank goodness.
Be careful driving home!
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