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I'd appreciate your feedback if you currently are, or have, experienced similar feelings or just have any thoughts, advice, or opinions.
You know the supposed "American Dream" (updated for modern times sake): Get married, have 2 or 3 kids, move to a nice place in the suburbs, post millions of pics on social media of you and your family out having a great time.
I'm a single 33 year old man with no kids. I think the aforementioned "dream" life would be nice, but I also realize that I dont necessarily need that to happen to be content with my life and that many of my desires for such stem from seeing so many others around me living that life.
I believe the older I become, the more I'll be able to accept the possiblity of the "dream" not happening. You know, if I get into my late 30s to mid 40s and nothing has changed, I believe I'll have a mindset like "OK, maybe I wont have the dream family from scratch of my own with my own kids, but perhaps I can find a woman my age just to fall in love with. Maybe she'll already have kids of her own that I could form a bond with, even if they're grown, and I would still have my own 'family' somewhat. Or maybe she'll just be single like me with no kids and we just have each other."
If none of that comes to be and I'm still living the same lifestyle as now (bar hopping, short lived flings), I believe I'll be more content with it than I am now, because at least by then I think I would have accepted that "it's not going to happen, it's too late" as opposed to the "I have a little more time" mentality that I have now.
That's just been on my mind lately and I have a host of questions.
Should I just let things flow naturally or at my age should I sort of push the issue? Were any of you at a similar point in life and now regret pushing or NOT pushing the issue? Anybody here in your 30s or 40s living the single life, perhaps with no kids? Are you happy or do yo have any regrets? Anybody else at this point in life?
Thanks.
You still have time to fall in love, get married and have a family of your own if that's what you want. I would just let things happen naturally.
I'm four years older than you. Don't have any children and never been married.
I don't want children of my own but I would very much like to fall in love and get married.
I haven't dating a nice young woman for a long time. I never married and don't have any children, but I'm single. Can I meet a nice young woman? The age is 26 to 37 years old. Can you search a nice real young woman for me?
On the whole, our society has brainwashed many people into thinking that you need to get married & have a family in order to be happy. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, from what I've seen many people in that situation are extremely unhappy.
I'm 47, been married twice, no kids. Never wanted them, never wanted to be a father, never wanted the responsibility. A part of me is selfish I suppose, I enjoy "livin' the life", nice house, cars, vacations, clothes, dinners, etc. I earn it, I know where it's going, for the things I want out of life, TFB to those who don't understand this!
I'd appreciate your feedback if you currently are, or have, experienced similar feelings or just have any thoughts, advice, or opinions.
You know the supposed "American Dream" (updated for modern times sake): Get married, have 2 or 3 kids, move to a nice place in the suburbs, post millions of pics on social media of you and your family out having a great time.
I'm a single 33 year old man with no kids. I think the aforementioned "dream" life would be nice, but I also realize that I dont necessarily need that to happen to be content with my life and that many of my desires for such stem from seeing so many others around me living that life.
I believe the older I become, the more I'll be able to accept the possiblity of the "dream" not happening. You know, if I get into my late 30s to mid 40s and nothing has changed, I believe I'll have a mindset like "OK, maybe I wont have the dream family from scratch of my own with my own kids, but perhaps I can find a woman my age just to fall in love with. Maybe she'll already have kids of her own that I could form a bond with, even if they're grown, and I would still have my own 'family' somewhat. Or maybe she'll just be single like me with no kids and we just have each other."
If none of that comes to be and I'm still living the same lifestyle as now (bar hopping, short lived flings), I believe I'll be more content with it than I am now, because at least by then I think I would have accepted that "it's not going to happen, it's too late" as opposed to the "I have a little more time" mentality that I have now.
That's just been on my mind lately and I have a host of questions.
Should I just let things flow naturally or at my age should I sort of push the issue? Were any of you at a similar point in life and now regret pushing or NOT pushing the issue? Anybody here in your 30s or 40s living the single life, perhaps with no kids? Are you happy or do yo have any regrets? Anybody else at this point in life?
Thanks.
I'm 31, no kids, not in a committed relationship and am LOVING IT TO THE MAX!!!!!
Don't feel under pressure to what is conventional or what society says you should do mate..... Your happiness comes first
I'm 30 with no wife or children. I eventually would like to meet someone and possibly have a child but I'm not going to pressure myself. It's just hard to meet people without using social media and I have no social media accounts. Despise them.
The "American Dream" is a bunch of BS and I honestly feel it exists just to aggravate the majority of people. I have most of the stuff you are supposed to have to feel happy, but you know what all the warm fuzzy white picket fence stuff sounds like a lot of propaganda. I am starting to see that statement should really been rephrased as the "American Delusion". I know many people in their 30s and 40s with all the supposed "American Dream" criteria and they are not that happy. I am starting to wonder if people that are always really happy are either clinically insane or really unambitious ex they settle for anything. I have a personal feeling the concept of "American Dream" is why a lot of people like myself are miserable a lot of the time. We have had these unrealistic ideas of what life if suppose to be like tossed at us over and over again and the goals is pretty strange in general. I think someone needs to do the world a favour and remodel the "American Dream" to something a little more attainable ex I will not go stock raving mad trying to achieve meaningless goals imposed by dated standards that are not really my own !
The "American Dream" is an idealization of well-deserved fruits of verve and personal devotion, that in a supposedly free society, supposedly come to persons who judiciously exercise that freedom. This applies, one supposes, in economics (house, cars, boat, retirement,…), in career, in relationships, in everything. The premise is that other societies are more constrained, more corrupt, more bereft of true opportunities… so there, the dream is merely to survive, to retain one's health and personal safety, to get muddling along. But here, the dream is to fulfill the promise of the human condition in its entirety – whatever that means.
I gather on the contrary, that pathological examples excepted, most of the world is uniformly much alike, and persons in one nation or one region, do not enjoy great benefit or privation vs. those in others. The "American Dream" is therefore both an empty paean to exceptonalism, and a generic restatement of what it means to live a decently successful life.
Most people in most circumstances do form families. They marry and have children. This by no means guarantees happiness, but it seems to me that if we miss something regarded as being commonplace and basic, then we'll pine for it, and view ourselves with self-criticism and perception of inadequacy, even if the thing itself is hardly an unalloyed boon, or without burdens of its own. The problem with failing to attain the dream, therefore, is not an absolute loss, but a self-imposed one.
You know the supposed "American Dream" (updated for modern times sake): Get married, have 2 or 3 kids, move to a nice place in the suburbs, post millions of pics on social media of you and your family out having a great time.
Get married and have 2 or 3 kids so that you have to be tethered to mind-numbing office jobs for 30+ years because you have a family to support ... sounds like the American nightmare to me. I'd rather have financial freedom and minimal responsibility.
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