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If you live in the country, you quickly discover that "natural" lawn means ticks and tick-borne diseases. That is a big reason why you see massive mowed lawns in rural areas.
What I'm seeing here is, as the sheriff said, "A lack of communication." If you are afraid to talk about it in depth, or he is reacting to what he thinks you are expressing, you are setting him up to be a mind reader. If you had simply said "I think your lawn looks like sh**." you could have an honest discussion and come to some agreement, compromise - or not. I'd sooner think he doesn't like mowing than really wants things "natural." Maybe he could hire someone to mow. Whatever.
(BTW, in the country around here, the people mowing lawns are about 50/50 male/female. When there is a farm to tend and heavy equipment and dangerous animals, mowing a lawn is woman's work in the greater scope of things.) Sexist? Not so much as recognizing the differences in strength. Some women can lift 50lb sacks without breaking a sweat, or push a cow into a chute. Some men can't, and so the roles could be reversed.
FWIW, I don't see what you describe as a quirk, but incipient laziness. To answer the meta-question you first asked, with quirks you learn to accept and enjoy or you don't. If you don't, it makes part of your relationship suck. Us quirky folks tend to steer clear of dating pucker-butts.
I agree with you about ticks.
He seems a little disorganized but I don't see lazy. His lawn had gotten out of hand because he broke a belt on the mower, bought one, it didn't fit, ordered one from the internet, had to wait for delivery etc. The whole yard is less than .25 acres.
I don't think there was anything else for us to communicate about. I have no place to judge his lawn or how he approaches his chores. I had no particular reason to care if his grass was long. There was nothing to compromise on. The subject had come up because the belt had arrived that day.
I actually like mowing the lawn, but my house is in the woods, no grass. (I rake a lot of leaves) Believe me, if the day ever comes when we are bickering about the lawn needing mowing, I will be happy to take care of it myself when he is out. Problem solved.
Is quirky and eccentric a nice way of saying weird? And weird can be interesting. And normal can be boring.
Anyway, I'm pretty fine with being a little weird. I was hanging out with a friend today and said, "Don't you think that flies are kind of cute?"..."and they do this thing where they rub their arms together and rub their head, like how cats clean themselves."
She just laughed. But flies are in fact kind of cute.
[quote=Stagemomma;44472439]Hmmmm, well, I didn't really mean to be too specific but I'm lazy today so I'll tell you.
For reference, I'm sort of an ordinary american educated liberal, I own my own home in 'town', 2 miles from the library where I work. I like my shabby chic walkable neighborhood. I gave up a marriage to a business exec with a six figure income and a country club membership. That was not a lifestyle for me. (so by my exhusband's rule of thumb, I'm the quirky one. he was not tolerant.)
I find that I'm not interested in dating men in suits/ties. They don't seem very interesting to me. I'm sure some are, but I'm a Tevas and jeans kinda gal, always have been. I want to hike and travel and kayak and read books. I've been trying to find a balance between a guy with an interesting lifestyle and outlook and also fiscally responsible/sensible.
I'm now dating a musician/luthier. He has recently started a day job as an office manager for a big electric contracting firm. (not exactly a career track) He is happy enough to have a steady income. He still plays music a lot, loves to cook, is very open and gregarious, can fix anything, laughs at my jokes. We have a lot of fun together.
Please note: I am only generalizing here when I speculate on a future with him. We both have kids in school in different districts so if we are to stick, it would be several years before we could even consider living together. I'm in no rush for that, in fact, in general I dislike the idea of giving up my independence.
So the other night we were chilling on his front porch gazing over the really overgrown lawn, and he started telling me about how he hates a mowed lawn, he wants to let nature do its thing. I am all for a casual natural look, but to me there is a difference between naturalized landscaping and just letting weeds take over. He had gotten cited by the city for not mowing, and he went to 'fight city hall' about having to mow. He wasn't crazed about it, or anything, when he was telling me about it, he just felt the city department had overstepped the written law. I teased him about being a curmudgeonly anarchist, and that was the end of that (he mowed his lawn the next day).
Now, you and I know that in America, if you don't want to mow, you live in the country where no one cares. I have no issue with that, and he is planning a move to the country within the year. But it did seem to me a waste of time to fight the law to the degree he did, rather than just suck it up and mow once in while.
So I start imagining a life where we live in the country (although I am a town mouse) and I'll have to mow the grass around the house myself so I don't get snakes and mice and bugs in my house, and we continually bicker about how there is a place for weeds to grow and a place for my beautifully cultivated landscaping. And I also wonder what else he might get stubborn about and get on his high horse and go fight city hall about (or country hall, as the case may be). And will I be annoyed with him about this, Or will I just Learn to tolerate? Embrace his whole quirkiness? Just ignore the quirk and get on with loving him?
Obviously this is all conjecture on my part. I don't have a good reference for this because my mom was controlling and quirks were not allowed in her marriage. If my dad had wanted to let the grass grow, he would have had to keep it to himself. My mother still scolds my dad for his 'incorrect' opinions on things and he has freakin' alzheimers. I don't know how to negotiate these sorts of things in a relationship!
Thus, the generalized question about dealing with quirks. This is not meant to be a thread on landscaping or lawn care or political activism.[/QUOTE
Bless his heart he's a hippie..a FREE spirit...he felt the man was trying to stick it to him with their petty laws.
laws..I tend to live people like THIS since I'm so type A..Some of Wyatt their perspectives are so much simpler than mine and I find it liberating however they would have to be my friend only...
Since I know I need order in this aspect..
But I have my own weirdness that I can't see giving up therefore I know that I'm not everyone's cup of tea..=)
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