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Just wondering if anyone has done this or is going through this and has any thoughts on how to start over in your 30s. I totally feel it is easier for men then women ( I would love for someone to prove me wrong on this , but I am not holding my breathe ). How did you know when to throw in the towel?
Believe me on this statement. Men might look all big and muscular on the outside, but on the inside we are emotionally sensitive. It's harder to overcome divorce once you know what's going on under our body of steel and how we think.
And as for friends, do you think male friends even try to help their buddies out after divorce? No freaking way. All they say is "sucks to go through that".
While female friends support their comrades and TALK to them during times of distress, perhaps even guide them on how to overcome the feelings. That's ONE THING I appreciate among women. The heart to help her female comrades. Guys just DON'T do that, and I wonder why ?
Yep. Been there, done that. I can't tell you what it's like - it's different for everyone. All I can tell you is that I personally threw in the towel when I just couldn't stand picking it up one more time - I just couldn't do it.
I am not divorced and my marriage has not ended, but the temptation to get out of this situation is weighing heavily on me. Regarding female friends being supportive ...lol .. that depends. Sometimes it is more of being the best source of gossip then the actual intention of being supportive. I have been feeling like this for around 10 or 11 years, but have been hoping it will get better and it does for 5 minutes... then here we go again. I absolutely hate failing at anything and this feels like the biggest EPIC failure ever! I am not worried about being independent. I do 90% of everything anyways. This almost feels like a big cosmic joke someone is playing on me. How is it possible that I could love and hate the same person at the same time. I just assume it is easier for men because the can actually meet someone else and start a new family. In about 5 or so years I be 40 and the chances for me being that gone baby gone. It totally seems unfair that women have to get their life together a lot faster then men do. I could really use another 10-15 years to figure some stuff out :P! I know no marriage is perfect ... but serious at what point is enough enough. I hate the idea of giving up... but I totally feel I am getting screwed in this situation and being unable to reach my full potential as a person. Why did I not get the memo about marriage being so hard before getting married?
I am not divorced and my marriage has not ended, but the temptation to get out of this situation is weighing heavily on me. Regarding female friends being supportive ...lol .. that depends. Sometimes it is more of being the best source of gossip then the actual intention of being supportive. I have been feeling like this for around 10 or 11 years, but have been hoping it will get better and it does for 5 minutes... then here we go again. I absolutely hate failing at anything and this feels like the biggest EPIC failure ever! I am not worried about being independent. I do 90% of everything anyways. This almost feels like a big cosmic joke someone is playing on me. How is it possible that I could love and hate the same person at the same time. I just assume it is easier for men because the can actually meet someone else and start a new family. In about 5 or so years I be 40 and the chances for me being that gone baby gone. It totally seems unfair that women have to get their life together a lot faster then men do. I could really use another 10-15 years to figure some stuff out :P! I know no marriage is perfect ... but serious at what point is enough enough. I hate the idea of giving up... but I totally feel I am getting screwed in this situation and being unable to reach my full potential as a person. Why did I not get the memo about marriage being so hard before getting married?
If you feel like you need 10-15 years to figure things out then go ahead and take your time.
If someone is going to judge you because of age and how much time it took for you to get things together, then they are clearly not compatible with you for a relationship and not worth your time, so why does it matter what they think.
Life is what YOU make of it. More power to women like you.
If you feel like you need 10-15 years to figure things out then go ahead and take your time.
If someone is going to judge you because of age and how much time it took for you to get things together, then they are clearly not compatible with you for a relationship and not worth your time, so why does it matter what they think.
Life is what YOU make of it. More power to women like you.
I don't know if it is me or him or us together. Regarding 10-15 years ... I meant in biological time ex to meet someone else and start a family again. I think for women having children in your 30s makes more sense then in your 20s for an economic and life skills perspective, by mother natures and biology are clearly not exactly in agreement with that a lot of the time. I don't really want to get divorced ... I want him to change ... but clearly that is not happening. I think I need to re-watch taming of the shrew and pick up a few more tips .
I understand exactly how you feel. My divorce was just finalized, and I'm in my late 30s. I filed after several months of marriage counseling, which I attended by myself because my ex couldn't be bothered. If you haven't already done individual counseling, I recommend it; if anything it will help you work through your feelings and give you more confidence about your decision...whatever it is.
FWIW, having just met a couple of men recently that are SO much better for me than my husband ever was, I can finally say IT DOES GET BETTER. Not to mention not having to take care of and clean up after my husband anymore as if he was my child (sounds like we have that in common). Being alone is quite liberating for those of us who feel we've been slaves to an unhappy and unhealthy marriage.
Believe me on this statement. Men might look all big and muscular on the outside, but on the inside we are emotionally sensitive. It's harder to overcome divorce once you know what's going on under our body of steel and how we think.
And as for friends, do you think male friends even try to help their buddies out after divorce? No freaking way. All they say is "sucks to go through that".
While female friends support their comrades and TALK to them during times of distress, perhaps even guide them on how to overcome the feelings. That's ONE THING I appreciate among women. The heart to help her female comrades. Guys just DON'T do that, and I wonder why ?
Get better friends.
My brother's best friend took him in and they helped each other through their divorces.
It was tough for both of them bc they made a lot of people angry, myself included.
Now they are with new women long term and still best friends.
I Why did I not get the memo about marriage being so hard before getting married?
I don't know.
It's common knowledge.
Remember that the grass is greener where you water it.
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, but I am not holding my breathe 
). How did you know when to throw in the towel?
....
... but clearly that is not happening. I think I need to re-watch taming of the shrew and pick up a few more tips 
.
