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So, here is the story... I have a friend on FB that I know for many years..let's call her XYZ. I saw this really cute girl was one of her friends and I asked if she was single and to introduce me. XYZ wrote back that she is indeed single and to send her a friend request and communicate directly with her which I did. I had also assumed that XYZ had mentioned about me to her which is expected I guess before giving the go ahead.
I sent a message two weeks ago introducing myself as a friend of XYZ and saying Hi. She did not respond, i.e. radio silence. Thinking she may have not got the message, I sent another message saying hey, this is abc, was wondering if there was any interest in connecting and getting to know each other better as XYZ said you were single My message had a very friendly tone and was not threatening at all.
Here is the response I got:
I got your first message. I don't reply to people I do not know. Not to sound rude but I am not looking forward to getting to know you or anybody. Again, not to sound rude and you should know that. Good luck!
well, did she wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something? Rude or not? I thought this was essentially the same as saying "Not to sound rude, but F off and goodbye"
Men try to be nice and express interest and this is what they get in return? And then women complain that men do not approach them
Well...she did say twice she didn't want to come off as rude. So she must have known there was really no gentle way to say it. She must feel VERY strongly about not speaking to strangers via FB. She may have had bad experiences there...who knows.
I know you were trying to be nice, but...and please don't roll your eyes at this...being female and approached by strangers can be a dicey proposition and many of us have had quite negative experiences from it. Unfortunately, and through no fault of your own, you may be at the far end of her having had to deal with unwanted attention in the past.
You took it as "just F off," but that is NOT what she said and let's face it, she could have...people do. I mean some of the stories I've heard...yikes. So she did in fact appear to be restraining herself from deliberate, hurtful rudeness and was just trying to impress VERY strongly on you that no, there is no chance at all. She may not have done it very artfully but there it is.
well, did she wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something? Rude or not? I thought this was essentially the same as saying "Not to sound rude, but F off and goodbye"
Men try to be nice and express interest and this is what they get in return? And then women complain that men do not approach them
Even though you have mutual friends, you're a stranger to her. She's not interested. She doesn't owe you any more than basic civility, which she fulfilled.
Men try to be nice and express interest and this is what they get in return? And then women complain that men do not approach them
IN PERSON and in a reasonable environment. Messaging a stranger you have never met on FB is not approaching. Please repeat that again. Be glad you got a response I have all messages from people who are not friends go to the other folder.
It borders on the line of stalking. FB is not a dating site, she didn't seek you out or put herself out there for your invitation.
I thought her response was cordial, and be glad you got one!
Why would anyone accept a friend request and then proceed to ignore them?
I feel old... just old....
I don't see here that she accepted the friend request (I'll re-read in case I missed it), just that he sent the message.
With that said, I've accidentally accepted "friend" requests in the past, and to this day I don't know how it happened. Once or twice I simply ignored the request for some weeks (I guess - really wasn't keeping track or anything) and then all of a sudden, lo and behold, there was the person's posts on my timeline.
I'd be more ticked at my friend who was lazy and said to just approach her on FB. He could have said something to her for you by way of introduction - that's kind of what you were wanting, right? For him/her to break the ice? Get on them, not her.
So, here is the story... I have a friend on FB that I know for many years..let's call her XYZ. I saw this really cute girl was one of her friends and I asked if she was single and to introduce me. XYZ wrote back that she is indeed single and to send her a friend request and communicate directly with her which I did. I had also assumed that XYZ had mentioned about me to her which is expected I guess before giving the go ahead.
I sent a message two weeks ago introducing myself as a friend of XYZ and saying Hi. She did not respond, i.e. radio silence. Thinking she may have not got the message, I sent another message saying hey, this is abc, was wondering if there was any interest in connecting and getting to know each other better as XYZ said you were single My message had a very friendly tone and was not threatening at all.
Here is the response I got:
I got your first message. I don't reply to people I do not know. Not to sound rude but I am not looking forward to getting to know you or anybody. Again, not to sound rude and you should know that. Good luck!
well, did she wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something? Rude or not? I thought this was essentially the same as saying "Not to sound rude, but F off and goodbye"
Men try to be nice and express interest and this is what they get in return? And then women complain that men do not approach them
If she doesn't want to know then it's pointless to proceed.
But yeah I'd be a bit more civil than that LOL...
As per your last paragraph mate it could be many reasons why she responded like that so it's equally pointless in wondering why she did...... The most probable one is she's just she doesn't think you're cute mate or just not looking
I don't see here that she accepted the friend request (I'll re-read in case I missed it), just that he sent the message.
With that said, I've accidentally accepted "friend" requests in the past, and to this day I don't know how it happened. Once or twice I simply ignored the request for some weeks (I guess - really wasn't keeping track or anything) and then all of a sudden, lo and behold, there was the person's posts on my timeline.
Its possible that I misunderstood...
Quote:
Originally Posted by k374
XYZ wrote back that she is indeed single and to send her a friend request and communicate directly with her which I did. I had also assumed that XYZ had mentioned about me to her which is expected I guess before giving the go ahead.
Either way... I guess she is not really interested. I work in the technology but the more I think about it, it seems to make people avoid or hesitate to actually "communicate".
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My message had a very friendly tone and was not threatening at all.
And then women complain that men do not approach them 
