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Old 06-22-2016, 01:11 PM
 
4,380 posts, read 4,449,008 times
Reputation: 4438

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Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann View Post
Maybe you are allergic to some foods? Wheat?
That would be my guess as someone who was diagnosed with food allergies in her 30's after being told for years it was something else.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100 View Post
In addition to his dating concerns, OP says he has no friends.
The no friends would definitely give me pause. I can't be the sole social network for a person.
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Old 06-22-2016, 01:19 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,332,620 times
Reputation: 30258
Id build myself a butt muffler of some sort.
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Old 06-22-2016, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Pacific 🌉 °N, 🌄°W
11,761 posts, read 7,255,837 times
Reputation: 7528
Quote:
Originally Posted by JowenLouns View Post
it just happens and I only know it happens because I hear it and it's embarrassing, it's constipation too, they are related, I can't eat around people, I can't have friends because of this problem
My suggestion is to get on psyllium husk capsules ASAP. Take 6 a day regularly.

The Health Benefits of Psyllium
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Old 06-22-2016, 02:21 PM
 
880 posts, read 1,251,141 times
Reputation: 1800
Most females that have any sense of self-worth won't date people who refer to them as females.
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Old 06-22-2016, 02:58 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,758 posts, read 19,955,169 times
Reputation: 43158
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut View Post
Id build myself a butt muffler of some sort.
Fart in a container and then put a lid on!
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Old 06-22-2016, 03:00 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,758 posts, read 19,955,169 times
Reputation: 43158
Quote:
Originally Posted by va_bank View Post
Most females that have any sense of self-worth won't date people who refer to them as females.
Did you like that guy better who opened a thread a few weeks ago about "wimmens?"
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Old 06-22-2016, 03:16 PM
 
Location: South Bay Native
16,225 posts, read 27,418,516 times
Reputation: 31495
Quote:
Originally Posted by IowaGirl144 View Post
I know this is the trendy thing but I really think the OP should try an elimination diet. I experienced something similar for a short time and realized it was due to some artificial sweetners in some of my processed food. It was irritating my intestines.
Thoughtful suggestion, but if he comes back I'm sure he will say he already tried that and it didn't work, just like every single other post.

I kind of like the suggestion to vlog on YouTube with lit farts and becoming a legend in his own time - maybe he can improvise a similar superhero costume to the one Howard Stern wore for his Fartman routine.
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Old 06-22-2016, 10:18 PM
 
Location: Jupiter
10,216 posts, read 8,302,876 times
Reputation: 8628
I'm sure a woman on this forum would like you. Never mind, you shouldn't take advice from me at all. Me and my friends still think armpits farts and whoopee cushions are still funny
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Old 06-24-2016, 04:28 PM
 
7 posts, read 4,379 times
Reputation: 10
everything mentioned on this thread has been done already, I've seen 3 GI doctors in the past years, I've done all the tests you can think about, from a simple X-Ray to colonoscopy to MRI and many more tests. However this wasn't meant as a joking thread, there is nothing funny about it, some might laugh but in real life people do experience this, this is like people making fun of fat people but worse since I don't see many fat people getting laughed at, I don't have friends because of this, never been in a relationship, I can't even eat around people or enjoy life, constipation and irritable bowel syndrome are the causes for this, but none of the treatments ever worked, plus the question wasn't how can I treat this? this has already been done by paid professionals, the question was would girls ever date me, it looks like the answer is no, so I'm now glad I didn't make the stupid choice of talking to a girl I like, actually it's because of my conditions that I just have my head down when I see her, I was thinking of talking to her but you guys made it clear I shouldn't, it was stupid of my to even have the idea, I should have erased it out of my mind but you guys put me back in my place to reality, thanks
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Old 06-24-2016, 06:52 PM
 
7,934 posts, read 8,588,276 times
Reputation: 5889
Put a cork in it farty.
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