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Dealbreakers are there because you know the stigma that comes with them and it's not something you want to go through. That said, you know why you wouldn't date someone with a kid, but, it doesn't seem to be the case with this woman. Meaning, you see yourself not having the issues you believe you'll end up with if you date someone who has a kid.
One of my dating dealbreaker was a guy shorter than me. I know, call me shallow, but I say "preference" lol. Long story short, I married someone 5'4, I'm 5'9.
I think you should go ahead and date this woman. In due time, you'll either break-up with her because you were right all along or you have a happily, ever after. I mean, it's not like women with no kids are guaranteed to be the "right one" anyways.
I say this because this woman seems to be ok for you. If your dealbreaker is not dating someone who does drugs, then I would say break up with the woman.
If that's a deal breaker I would end it because you will have to deal with "You're not my daddy!" back talk. If a woman ever revealed to me she has a kid I just tell her that we are not compatible and stop seeing her. No women with kids, no exceptions.
This is all about the consequence of having boundaries and standards (why some people have none). I wonder how you will feel about yourself knowing that at the first sign of anything challenging those standards you set for yourself, you were willing to relax them.
You made those boundaries for very good reasons. I see this as a test as to how much willpower, consistency and honesty you have with yourself. To have standards is to be able to go without.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QuestOfTruth
You made those boundaries for very good reasons.
I don't think this is a safe assumption. Lots of people make deal breakers based on fears more than realities. And many also make them as methods to protect oneself from opening up to attaching to people and getting hurt.
If that's a deal breaker I would end it because you will have to deal with "You're not my daddy!" back talk. If a woman ever revealed to me she has a kid I just tell her that we are not compatible and stop seeing her. No women with kids, no exceptions.
I understand this issue, but it's easier to say "no kids, period" in the beginning or if you're truly not that interested.
I think the OP actually likes the person, hence this dilemma and asking strangers to get as unbiased opinion as possible.
Though I think if the OP is a very logical person, than an emotional one, then perhaps it is best to not date this woman.
I don't think this is a safe assumption. Lots of people make deal breakers based on fears more than realities. And many also make them as methods to protect oneself from opening up to attaching to people and getting hurt.
Yeah, I think alot of people are often just too scared to leave their comfort zone.. and miss out on so much. I forget if the OP is still a virgin, but this could very well be his perfect weekend girl lol. A woman w/ her own life, who's available 'just enough' to still allow him time & space to himself.. ~ A beautiful woman with intellect & personality, come on Dissenter, opportunity's knockin you upside the head. Get it while the gettin is good.
I think I have a decent chance of her saying yes. I know through the grapevine she has dated guys like my physical type.
The driving distance is 2 1/2 hours between us so we could do a weekend relationship and I'm not completely married to staying in Virginia anyway, if this goes serious.
Typically I would not concede to no kids requirement. But this woman in particular is very much what I want otherwise.
What have your interactions been like? Has there been any flirting to this point? Type is more than physical.
Do you know why your no kids rule is in place? Where that decision stems from?
If that's a deal breaker I would end it because you will have to deal with "You're not my daddy!" back talk. If a woman ever revealed to me she has a kid I just tell her that we are not compatible and stop seeing her. No women with kids, no exceptions.
But if he's only going to see her on the weekends, his interaction with her child will most likely be slim to none. Especially if those are the weekends the kid's with the other parent or she gets a sitter.
But if he's only going to see her on the weekends, his interaction with her child will most likely be slim to none. Especially if those are the weekends the kid's with the other parent.
That's why I said it's what I would do. I'm not Diss and it is his decision to whether or not he wants to keep dating her.
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